8 Ways to Be Present With Your Kids

As we go along our busy day, it’s easy for parents to get swept away with our seemingly never ending “to do” lists and forget that our children need us to connect with them instead of hurriedly rushing them along like another one of our tasks.

If there’s one thing all kids, young and old, want from their moms and dads it’s their undivided attention. That may seem impossible on days when you’re rushing out the door for work, up to your eyeballs in dirty diapers and laundry, and haven’t had a moment to yourself in weeks, but finding a few quality moments with your family doesn’t have to be complicated. In fact, it is a lot simpler than you think.

Mighty Mommy shares 8 ways that you can be present with your kids, and most of them require just a small shift in how you manage your day.

Tip #1: Connect With Your Eyes 

I know as an adult who usually has her plate too full with commitments and obligations that when I talk to someone, I would like his or her full attention, even if it’s only for a minute. It’s extremely unsettling to me if the person I’m engaging in conversation with never looks up at me and continues to work on his or her computer, sift through paperwork—whatever—and nonchalantly nod at my request and then go back to what they were doing as if I don’t matter one bit. Kids are no different. If you want to really be present with your little guy or strapping young teen, stop what you’re doing when he or she needs to talk to you and make eye contact.  And don’t forget to share a warm smile! When your kids know they have your interest, they will feel great about coming to you in good times and bad.

Tip #2: Be Well Rested

The benefits of getting enough sleep are many, but one of the biggest is that when you feel well-rested, you have more energy for caring for your family all day long. If you’re stealing time in the wee hours of the morning or burning the midnight oil on a regular basis, chances are you awake tired and cranky.  Getting to bed earlier and catching a few extra Z’s can help keep you refreshed, so you can enjoy your family each and every day.

Tip #3: Live in Their Moment

When was the last time you sat and quietly observed what your child was doing? Take a moment to watch your daughter running after your dog. Comment to her, “Katie, you are so fast when you chase Molly around. Look how much Molly loves it when you hop on one foot to try and catch her.” If you do this a few times a week, your child is going to soak up the extra attention like a happy little sponge.  See Also: “Board” om Busters For Your Kids

Tip #4:  Put Your Cell Phone Away

Some habits are hard to break, and in this digital world we live and breathe, our smart phones seem to be attached to many of us 24/7.  When you walk through the door from work or your children get off the bus and come into the house, get into the habit of putting your phone away. Once you’ve chatted about their day and they’re busy with homework or playing, then take it out again if you need to check messages, etc. My rule of thumb is this—if one of my 8 kids is in the vicinity, my phone can be close by but not in the palm of my hand.

Tip #5: Change Your Imaginary Channel

Years ago, when my kids were toddlers and pre-schoolers, I came up with a fun game we called, “Change the Channel.” When we are watching a program on TV and don’t like what we’re seeing, we simply grab the TV remote and change the channel. In real life, there are many instances that come up during the day—a sibling stealing a toy from his sister, a cranky school-aged child giving you grief about what he’s not going to wear to the bus stop that morning—when one of these moments happen, and I would call out “Let’s change the channel!” and find a situation that makes us happy. I would point an imaginary remote at my child and say, “How about on this channel you share your new trucks with Casey for a few minutes, then I’ll take her and build a castle with her blocks.” This usually diffused most of these cranky situations and because I had stopped what I was doing to turn it around, I was able to enjoy even the irritating things they did because we created this fun game. 

Tip #6: Set the Timer

We may not have a full hour to be present and just chilling out with our kids, but we can certainly find ten minutes. On a random afternoon or other time during your scheduled day, take your child aside and ask her what she’d like to do for ten minutes alone with you. Maybe it’s you braiding her hair, going outside to watch her ride her bike, helping her give her Teddy Bear a pretend bath—whatever it is (within reason!), set the timer for ten minutes and tell her you’re all hers for that amount of time no matter what. That ten minutes will turn into a lifetime of memories for both of you.  See Also: 5 Ways to be a More Playful Parent

Tip #7: Get Out Your Scrapbooks

I went through a phase for about 10 years where I created oodles of scrapbooks for my kids and for the grandparents. I used colorful die-cuts, stickers, and festive paper, and when they were done, I oohed and ahhed at how marvelous they looked. I was thrilled I’d have something to pass along to each of my kids when they left our nest and moved off on their own. There was only one problem—once I had completed these memory books, I tucked them away and we hardly ever looked at them. I would then find one of my kids flipping through the albums and watch their eyes light up like Christmas trees as they recalled our memories. After that, I left them out in our family room so they could be enjoyed all the time. If you have photos from vacations, birthdays, or a visit with Grandma and Grandpa, sit down with your child for a few moments and look at them together. These moments are a great way to stay present with your child while enjoying those special memories of the past.

Tip #8: Catch Your Child Doing Something Right

One of my favorite parenting tips of all time is this one—catching your child doing something right and praising him/her for it on the spot. The next time you see your son picking up the trash that spilled over when he emptied the can instead of leaving it there for the next person to take care of, stop, smile and comment, “Hey Michael, I like how you just took the extra time to get the overflow of trash off the floor. I appreciate you not leaving it for someone else. Good job!” It doesn’t have to be much, but it does have to be genuine. When you observe your kids doing nice things for themselves and for others, you are teaching them the importance of kind words. They also know you’re paying attention to the little things they do on a regular basis.  See Also:  10 Fresh Parenting Resolutions

How do you live in the moment with your child? Share them with us in the comments section at quickanddirtytips.com/mightymommy, post your ideas on the Mighty Mommy Facebook page. or email me at mommy@quickanddirtytips.com.

Also, visit my family-friendly boards at Pinterest.com/MightyMommyQDT.

Be sure to sign up for the upcoming Mighty Mommy newsletter, chock full of practical advice to make your parenting life easier and more enjoyable. 

Scrapbooking image courtesy of Shutterstock.