How to Help Your Child Embrace Change
As much as we try to make our children’s lives safe and predictable, change is inevitable. Mighty Mommy has 5 tips to help your kids be open to change.
Cheryl Butler
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How to Help Your Child Embrace Change
As the saying goes, the only constant in this world is change.
We all have a choice when it comes to change—we can dread it and live waiting for the next shoe to drop, or we can learn not to fear change but instead see it as an opportunity.
One of the greatest skills we can teach our kids is to be flexible. Change may bring uncertainty and anxiety, but when embraced with a positive outlook we can teach our kids that the changes in life, big and small, offer them the chance to grow and be prepared for all that life has to offer.
See also: 5 Things Parents Shouldn’t Worry About and 6 Ways to Help Kids Conquer Worry
As much as we try to make our children’s lives safe and predictable, they will experience changes from time to time, sometimes dramatic changes. As parents, we can use these experiences as teaching opportunities.
Today, Mighty Mommy shares 5 ways you can help your kids be open to change. s
Tip #1: Introduce the Concept of Change
Family life is full of change so one way to get younger kids to accept that change is inevitable is to help them grasp it on a level they can relate to.
For instance, every household has elements that scream out for a change. These include family members who make too much noise early in the morning, siblings who take each other’s toys without permission, messy family members. These are things that that could use some improvement.
On the other hand, there are aspects of our family life that feel great, such as cozy snuggle time and a story before bed or eating dinner with grandparents every Sunday.
Sit down with your whole household and make a list of a few things each person wishes would change as well as a few things they hope will remain the same for a very long time. Explain that having a messy younger sister now doesn’t mean that when she grows, she won’t turn into a neat freak. And even if Sunday dinners with the grandparents become less frequent when they move to a warmer climate, you can find other ways to connect on the weekends, like Skype or even taking a plane to visit them for a vacation.
This way the kids will see that change is not necessarily bad.
Tip #2: Produce a Positive Change
Take the list you made as a family and post it in a place where everyone will see it, such as the kitchen or family room.
Ask each of the kids to make one small suggestion that would produce a positive change for something on the list. For example, using softer voices and not turning on the TV loudly in the morning so there isn’t as much noise or asking permission to borrow a sibling’s toy or electronic device rather than just helping yourself.
Change doesn’t happen overnight, so when you notice someone in the family making an effort to bring about a positive change, make sure to praise them for trying.
Tip #3: Play a Game to Help Kids Embrace Change
Years ago I learned a simple game that really got the point of change across. It was the “Cross Your Arms” game.
After you talk to your kids about the subject of change, ask them to cross their arms. Then ask them to fold their arms the other way, the reverse of what they just did. Most likely, it is going to feel awkward.
Now you can ask them simple questions such as how did it feel when they were asked to cross their arms the other way? Did it come naturally or did they have to stop and think about it? Was it comfortable doing this differently from the normal way they cross their arms?
This example can then lead into a more engaged conversation about how we automatically do things that are comfortable for us without thinking, but when we are asked to do something differently it can cause people to resist. When a change happens, like having to move to a new house, it doesn’t feel comfortable right away because we aren’t used to the new neighborhood, the new bedroom, the new school—it feels awkward like crossing our arms the wrong way.
But over time, we begin to get used to our new surroundings and have the opportunity to meet new friends or bond with a new teacher who makes math into an adventure rather than just reading lessons from a book.
Tip #4: Honor Their Feelings
One of the reasons change can be so scary for kids (and adults too!) is the fear of the unknown. So when change comes down the pike, honor the fear, don’t dismiss it.
For example, when a new baby is brought home from the hospital, your older child who is used to being the center of your attention will be pretty scared about sharing his parents with the new sibling, especially when all he’s ever known is being an only child.
Let him express himself, even if that means acting out in trying to get your attention. Reassure him that you know things are not the same at home for him now. Give him a big hug and say aloud, “We know it’s different having your new sister in the house, but we love you so much and are counting on you to teach your little sister and help her get used to our family.”
Tip #5: Make Change Into an Adventure
If children learn to see change as an adventure and an opportunity, they will have the confidence to try new things. One way to get better at embracing change is to practice doing familiar things in different ways. To do this, change up old routines and turn these rote ways into an adventure.
Some ideas include: 
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Take new routes to school and to your activities even if it’s just changing one or two different streets.
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Pull up a map of your town or state and pick a new place your family has never been to – then go there.
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Try an activity, such as camping or fishing, for the first time.
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Brush your teeth with the opposite hand for one full week.
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Invite a neighboring family that you don’t know well to your house for dessert and coffee so the kids can hang out together and the adults can become acquainted.
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Rearrange a room in your house or create a whole new feel by painting just one wall. Be willing to let go of things you’ve been hanging on to for no good reason.
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Introduce a new meal to your family’s weekly menu plan. Go one step further and let the kids decide what country the dish should be from.
Even if they don’t want or didn’t ask for a certain change in their lives, when your children learn that change can be an adventure they will be open to embracing the many exciting things that life has to offer.
How do you help your children accept change? Share your thoughts in the Comments section at quickanddirtytips.com/mightymommy, post your ideas on the Mighty Mommy Facebook page. or email me at mommy@quickanddirtytips.comcreate new email.
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About the Author
Cheryl L. Butler was the host of the Mighty Mommy podcast for nine years from 2012 to 2021. She is the mother of eight children. Her experiences with infertility, adoption, seven pregnancies, and raising children with developmental delays have helped her become a resource on the joys and challenges of parenting. You can reach her by email.