Fantasy Football Etiquette
When it comes to Fantasy Football, make sure you remember: it’s not a pro sport.
In my tenure as Modern Manners Guy, I’ve covered improper sports etiquette of all kinds, including Sports Event Etiquette and of course, the unmannerly realm of Office Sports. However, there’s one area of sports etiquette I have not journeyed into: the insanely popular world of Fantasy Football.
In some cases (not all) players’ behavior can make managing a real life professional team seem downright calm. So, before you end lifelong friendships over a running back trade, or curse out the commissioner, check out my top three quick and dirty tips on Fantasy Football Etiquette.
Tip #1: It’s Not a Sport, It’s Fantasy!
If you regularly listen to my Modern Manners Guy show, you may already know about my tenure as a professional wrestler. So, I totally understand playing “fantasy” in sports. I mean, pro wrestling is more Broadway than Olympics. However, the difference between what I did and what others believe they’re doing with the world of “pretend,” is this: I knew my gig wasn’t real. Granted wrestling takes skill and a heck of a lot of guts, and Fantasy Football does indeed take intelligence and time, but in the end, it’s all make believe. Now, some of you may say, “Well, I have money riding on it, so it’s very real to me.” And I get that. Most Fantasy Football leagues have tremendous winnings involved, or “friendly side bets.” However, like I talked about “How To Be A Proper Video Gamer,” when dealing with an environment of fantasy, if you let false-reality become your everyday life, you may improperly cross the line from having fun to taking things too seriously.
Again, I’m not mocking those that play Fantasy Football—after all, I play too—but my real concern is when someone believes that what they’re doing on a computer screen makes them a real-life coach or professional team owner. Sure you may rule your fraternity alumni league or office pool, but it’s rude to actually see yourself as a “mover and shaker” in the world of sports because you “called” Adrian Peterson on having an amazing season. This type of improper thinking carries over a bizarre bravado that can inflate someone’s ego to crazy levels and interfere with other (real) areas of your life. They do call it fantasy for a reason. You’re not getting comped at some steakhouse because you won last week, like pro athletes may. And that trophy for winning the league, was bought online for $15 … not made with diamonds and gold like NFL Super bowl rings.
Tip #2: Improper Trash Talk
Trash talking in professional sports is used to psyche out your opponent and leave him or her vulnerable. Athletes like Mohammed Ali, who was a legendary trash talker, often used this strategy to rattle the toughest of opponents. However, Ali is one of the greatest athletes that ever lived. Fantasy Football players, on the other hand, are playing “pretend coach” and have absolutely zero impact on a player’s success on the field. In fact, you could have put together the single greatest line up in the history of Fantasy Football and next thing you know, Andrew Luck jammed his big toe and can’t play. But wait, you’ve been talking trash the entire week? Now what? I mean, I thought you truly had an influence on the game with your vast knowledge of ESPN statistics and Google searches? Oh well … there’s always next week.
When it comes to proper trash talking in Fantasy Football, there are two kinds. First, there’s talking trash using witty banter back and forth, getting laughs from your friends. That kind is great for morale. But there’s also trash talk that equates to spewing utter garbage. From vulgar comments, foul language, and flat-out hate (to your “buddies” no less), trying to juke your opponents off their game by using junior high tactics is grossly immature. The best way to properly get under someone’s skin is to hit them with facts and statistics. Maybe your running back rushed for over a 100 yards last week, and your opponent’s guy only ran for 35? I’d text them that stat all day, every day. What about rumors of your player’s knee making it doubtful he starts on Sunday? A nice meme with the phrase, “Someone’s got a boo-boo” could very well drive your friend insane. That’s the beauty of Fantasy Football; it allows for fun gloating back and forth but nothing that goes on the edge vulgarity and childishness.
Tip #3: No Shenanigans
I’ve spent this episode so far talking about the ridiculousness of how intense Fantasy Football can get, while reminding folks that it’s just a game. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t play fair. Sure, Fantasy Football was created solely for fun, but with that, any game being played should always have the rules. I mean, if you get so frustrated with your team that you start trading people right and left because you “don’t care anymore,” it only ruins the essence of the strategy behind choosing players each week. By this, I mean don’t try to cheat the system just so you can get the win or ruin the league out of frustration.
In fact, I’m not alone in thinking that Fantasy Football should be a by-the-book practice. Sites like ESPN and Yahoo have set rules, which all players must adhere to or else face being suspended. Sketchy practices or collusion, where one team makes moves to benefit another team, without trying to improve its own position are a huge no-no. And don’t try to secretly play two teams at once, meaning you act as the “head” of one team and then behind the scenes work another team in the same league at the same time. Or, even shadier (which actually happens more than expected) is to impede other team owners with bribes, tanking games for favors, etc. I mean, seriously, folks, can we all grow up here? Look, Fantasy Football—even when money is on the line—is supposed to be fun. It was solely created for only that purpose, so don’t corrupt or spoil the game with your inappropriate tactics. After all, if you can’t play nice, take your imaginary ball and go home.
As always, if you have another manners question, I look forward to hearing from you at manners@quickanddirtytips.comcreate new email. Follow me on Twitter @MannersQDT, and of course, check back next week for more Modern Manners Guy tips for a more polite life.
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