How to Handle Annoying Seatmates
Do you break the rules of travel etiquette?
Richie Frieman
Listen
How to Handle Annoying Seatmates
Last week I received an email about a display of bad manners that left me in tears. Here’s the gist of what went down: On a flight from Pennsylvania to Seattle, Tom (I’ve used another name to protect him) and his wife sat next to Bob, who kept talking about every inappropriate topic under the sun. Without taking notice of any of Tom’s obvious social cues indicating he and his wife were uncomfortable, Bob continued entertaining them with his bizarre rants–for a whopping five and a half hours!
How to Handle Annoying Seatmates
Now, to play devil’s advocate, Bob was just trying to be friendly. Okay, done—that’s out of my system. Now I’m back to being Modern Manners Guy. And here are my top three tips on how to deal with a rude and annoying seatmate.
Tip #1: Tune Them Out
God bless headphones; and I don’t just mean for all the times when my daughter makes me watch the Wiggles. Headphones on a plane are about as essential as, well, alcohol on a plane. Both will soothe the heart and mind, especially when you are stuck next to the reigning Heavyweight Champion of Obnoxiousness.
I recommend always packing headphones in your carry-on. Skimp on that extra bag of chips and make sure you always bring your headphones instead. Chances are you will be stuck next to someone you would never want to talk to for five seconds, let alone be best friends with for five hours. And like any good soldier will tell you, you need to make sure you are locked and loaded at all times. In this case, ammo comes in the form of headphones.
When Joe Talks-For-Hours starts chatting you up the second you sit down, you’ll be prepared. Yes, Joe may be the nicest guy on earth who rescues puppies on the weekends, but still, chatting your ear off is a violation of personal space. So, when Joe starts talking without taking a breath, simply smile, nod, and begin to take out your headphones. Put them on (he will still be talking) and again continue to smile until you finally turn away and rest your head back, shutting your eyes and listening to some tunes. Even throw in a yawn for good measure. It’s like ripping off a band-aid, don’t do it gradually; do it FAST!
Tip #2: Look Busy
Once again in my reign as Modern Manners Guy, I reference a scene from Seinfeld in which George decides to always look frustrated and angry and only respond in short aggravated bursts when someone approaches him. The trick George was using was, in fact, genius. After all, the guy who looks intense usually is. Even if you’re not a generally gruff person, I suggest you make like George Costanza and pretend to be. Read your book, crossword puzzle, or even just your in-flight magazine with intense focus.
If someone starts to bother you, you can say something like, “Oh, I’ve got to get back to this book, or else my book club friends, will kill me!” Or, “Here it is! I’ve been dying to read this article. Excuse me, I need to get to this.” And take your time reading… because you know they’ll be waiting for you when you’re finished.
And as a conclusion to this second tip, one of the rudest things you can do is bother a stranger while he or she is reading or working, so just don’t!
Tip #3: Establish Your Space
In addition to the annoying talker, the other person who can ruin your flight is the “crowder.” You know, the guy who likes to take your armrest and your foot room, and is usually so close to you it’s as if you’ve already been on that third date.
Crowding someone is beyond rude and doing it in such a confined space is even ruder.
Establishing your own space on a flight, train, or bus can be tough, but when done immediately upon sitting down–and with good manners–it can save you from a long and painful trip.
When you first sit down, put your items in your space and don’t allow anyone to take up your designated area. If someone’s bag is in your space, kindly ask him or her to move it. And to claim your part of the shared armrest, put your arms down firmly on your side. It’s easier to establish your space right from the beginning, before the crowder gets comfortable. Then sit back, relax, and enjoy your ride.
Do you have a great story about how you handled witnessing poor airplane etiquette? Post them on my Modern Manners Guy Facebook page so we can all hear the details. As always, if you have another manners question, I’m look forward to hearing from you so drop me a line at manners@quickanddirtytips.comcreate new email. As well, don’t forget to follow me on Twitter @MannersQDT. And of course, check back next week for more Modern Manners Guy tips.
Image courtesy of Shutterstock