The Service Provider Break-Up
Time to move on from your stylist? Help is here!
Trent Armstrong
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The Service Provider Break-Up
I’m humbly accepting the Modern Manners Guy reins from the ever gracious Adam Lowe. And I just want you to know that I really appreciate you all listening to the show, but I really don’t think it’s going to work out between us. Er, wait. It’s not you, it’s me. Er, wait. You’re fired! There. Was that OK?
Today’s topic is a classic break-up story: Girl meets stylist, stylist styles girls’ hair, and everything is a fairy tale. Weeks and months go by until one day, out of nowhere, the magic fades and the girl, with broken heart and stringy hair, stares at her sad visage in the mirror and says through streaming tears, “We can do better.”
I know some of you out there are thinking, “Oh my, that poor woman. Can you print an address where we can send Häaagen-Dazs and break-up albums?” But fear not! Our listener’s story isn’t over, and she’s asked me to help her find that happily ever after.
Our friend Alicia writes:
“Hello Modern Manners Guy, I have recently found a new hairstylist and am more satisfied with his services than with my previous stylist. However, I do continue to receive other salon services at the location where my previous stylist works. What is a good way to handle the awkward situation when I am asked why I no longer visit my previous stylist? I wish to continue to receive non-hairstyling services from this salon, but do not want to hurt anyone’s feelings by sharing that I wasn’t completely satisfied with the stylist’s work.”
Thank you, Alicia, for your question. Whether merely to change service providers for cable TV or maybe to fire an unproductive employee, we’ve all encountered situations requiring us to make a decision to dismiss a quote—unquote “employee” and stand by it. The trouble is, some situations are tougher than others, like in Alicia’s case. Let’s break it down and address each piece one at a time.
Feeling the Guilt
First thing’s first, know that the decision you’ve made is not your fault. You are perfectly entitled as a customer to be dissatisfied with your hairstylist. On every visit, you paid for a service done to your satisfaction and if your standards were not met, supposing that you’re not being unreasonable, then this shortcoming is not your fault. We’ll talk about being unreasonable in a bit.
The Method
That said, perhaps you should consider writing him a note briefly detailing why you’ve chosen to move on, but informing him that you will still be visiting the salon on occasion for other services. That way you don’t have to embarrass him in front of his co-workers and you’ve done your part to be respectful of the relationship and connected feelings. When visiting the salon on subsequent visits, maybe you can tell inquiring minds something light and self-deprecating like, “Oh, I’ve just become so terribly picky in my old age that I felt bad and had to let Alfonso off the hook. I couldn’t bear to put him through it any longer.” I believe your relationship may be all the better for it, as you’ll be able to remain at your salon and you’ve protected his reputation and feelings, which I’ll wager he’ll greatly appreciate. Always be kind about your decision and continue the friendship if one exists.
Inappropriate Behavior
If you’re changing stylists because of something inappropriate, the need for discretion still exists. Certainly, talk to the manager about this and ensure that it was not a misunderstanding. This allows a little grace for the guilty party, and if an apology is offered and followed up by the stylist, all may be forgiven and both your reputation and that of the stylist will remain intact. Or the stylist will be fired on the spot, and you won’t have to use any of your stationery. Either way, discretion is appropriate.
If you’re just dissatisfied, an alternative course of action is to find a new salon all together. You may have a real and palpable fear that upon hearing the news, Alfonso is going to get gonzo, and that makes finding a new salon the obvious course of action.
The last thing that you want to do is go spreading discord in the salon—far too many scissors. Truth be told, if your gut is telling you to find a new place to go, then your gut is probably right, lest Murphy’s Law come find you. Of course, if Murphy is your new Stylist, then you’re on your own. And should you be always searching for a way to break up with your stylist, manicurist, pedicurist, etc., you might want to search yourself to make sure you’re not the reason for your discontent.
I hope that you and your other service providers at Alfonso’s salon make it through this rough patch.
Thank you for listening to the Modern Manners Guy’s Quick and Dirty Tips for a More Polite Life.
And thanks to Colin Smith of The MannersCast for guest writing this episode. You can hear more from Colin and The MannersCast at https://www.mannerscast.com.
Transcripts of this show can be found online at manners.quickanddirtytips.com.
Send your question and comments to manners@quickanddirtytips.comcreate new email. The Modern Manners Guy is part of the Quick and Dirty Tips Network, which has released its first book–Grammar Girl’s Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Writing. Order it now anywhere books are sold.
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