Your Kid Made My Kid Cry!
Did that booger-nosed kid make your child cry? Modern Manners Guy tells you how to handle a toddler-versus-toddler dispute, so that it doesn’t turn into a parent-on-parent brawl.
Richie Frieman
As the parent of a 4-year-old and a 7-month-old, I deal with crying in every form— there’s the “I fell” cry, the “I’m tired” cry, and even the “I MUST have a snack” cry. You name it; I’ve heard it.
There comes a time, though, when the tears are legitimately not your child’s fault, but instead the fault of that other booger-nosed kid who is picking on them. Sometimes another child can make yours cry by not wanting to give up something they are using, simply because your child asks for it. That’s understandable. I mean, if they were adults, sharing would be an easier concept to comprehend, but for kids, that’s not always the case.
See Also: Proper Playground Etiquette
Consequently, I don’t blame other kids for making my child cry because they won’t hand over the racecar, bouncy ball, or Barbie they’re playing with, but what does bother me is when I see another child purposely doing something hurtful to my kid, or to any other child for that matter. What’s even worse is when the parent couldn’t care less.
See Also: Tips for Dealing with an Aggressive Child
Let me first say that you should never discipline another child or blame them with a wagging, pointed finger. But you are allowed to intervene in the situation. The proper way to handle a toddler-versus-toddler dispute is to ask the children what happened, and then see if you can settle it. If one confesses to biting, pushing, or taking something without permission, it’s always good practice to let them know what should and should not be done in the future. Then, you should talk to the parent. This is usually when the situation gets hairy.
If the other parent replies with any of the following, you should make sure the issue is resolved right away:
-
“Oh, they’re just being kids…”
-
“I don’t think he really meant it…”
-
“Yeah, he’s been biting people lately…”
-
“I’ll make sure to talk about it with him later…”
Why? Because these are cowardly ways of not admitting your child did
something wrong. I am all for not backing down to another parent that seemingly dismisses their child’s misbehavior. It has nothing to do with age of the child either; it’s all about making sure the parent knows that their child did something wrong.
See Also: The Bad Sport (Parent)
I’m not saying this discussion has to be a big to-do or that you should make a scene, but you should both be on the same page. The other parent needs to realize their kid is not the angel they always believed. And please, please, please, I hope they teach their kid how to apologize.
When you confront a crappy parent who won’t admit their child did something wrong, you’ll want to flip your lid, but you can’t. Always take them aside, and make sure they understand the situation. Yes, toddlers will be toddlers but there is no reason for parents to be childish as well.
Crying child from Shutterstock