How to Repair a Relationship Quickly
How to repair a relationship when you screw up… or not.
Today’s topic is quickly repairing relationships so you can get on with business. The quick and dirty tip is take the blame and make amends.
How to Repair Relationships Quickly
We all want relationships. With customers, with suppliers, with girlfriends, boyfriends, transgender friends, and polyfriends. A good relationship requires that both be happy. And we all do stuff sometimes that screws stuff up. Like, we accidentally mail a check out late. Or we misplace an incoming delivery, forget where we put it, and then tell the supplier we never received it. Or we squeeze the toothpaste from the middle.
First, understand that if they’re upset, your opinion doesn’t matter. If your customers think you screwed up, they won’t do business with you. If your sweetie is mad about that little licorice-and-feathers practical joke, then he won’t snuggle with you. It doesn’t even matter if you didn’t do what they think you did. Maybe it was the neighbor who did the thing with the feathers. What you need to realize is: it doesn’t matter.
Take the Blame
When someone is upset with you and you want to repair the relationship, take the blame. Take all of it. Don’t just say, “Gee, I’m sorry you’re mad at me.” Would that work if someone said it to you?
“But what if it really isn’t my fault?” So? Take the blame anyway. “But that would be lying.” Right. Like, you haven’t lied before and said you were innocent when you were really guilty. Remember the “Who put library paste and glitter all over Fluffy?” incident. You said, “Not me. Fluffy must have rolled in it by accident.” That wasn’t exactly honest, was it? Your mom wasn’t fooled. After all, Fluffy was a goldfish.
Now, lie the other way. Say, “It was my fault. I screwed up.” “It was my fault” pacifies customers. It delights suppliers. And you won’t believe what it can do for a relationship. Bada-bing, bada-bing!
But don’t stop there! Next drive it home by adding the clincher, “What can I do to make it right?”
Make Amends
Surprisingly often, people will accept the apology as being enough. Other times, they may ask you to make it up to them. Remember, your goal here is to make the relationship work for both of you, so you can still say “No” to their request.
Decide for yourself what amends to offer. You can offer to shampoo Fluffy, to expedite your customer’s late order, or to give your sweetie a back rub and bubble bath. Heck, you can even offer to shampoo your customer, expedite your sweetie, and give Fluffy a back rub and bubble bath. The possibilities are endless.
Just remember: when someone thinks you’ve screwed up, you can fight it and cause everyone pain, or you can take the blame. If you want life to be easy, take the blame, make amends, and get on with it. Life is too short to get bogged down in library paste.
This is Stever Robbins. Email questions to getitdone@quickanddirtytips.comcreate new email or leave voicemail at 866-WRK-LESS.
Work Less, Do More, and have a Great Life!