Evolution and Super Goblins
Ask Science provides an introduction to evolution. Plus, the answer to the age-old question: How could evolution have saved goblins from extinction?
Lee Falin, PhD
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Evolution and Super Goblins
The word “evolution” means different things to different people. For some people it’s a rallying cry to form lynch mobs against scientists and public education. For others it’s a weapon to use against religious fundamentalists. To comic book fans it’s the mysterious power that will one day turn us all into mutated super heroes (if we’re lucky). As usual, the truth about evolution is quieter, subtler, and yet more amazing than any of these sensationalized ideas. So what exactly is evolution and how does it work? Let’s look at an example.
Fuzzy Wuzzy was a Goblin
Imagine that there exists somewhere in Earth’s ancient past, a tribe of fierce goblins. While most of the goblins are relatively similar in appearance and behavior, green leathery skin, red beady eyes, etc., one goblin in this tribe sticks out from the rest. His friends call him Gulrock the Fuzzy.
Unlike the other goblins, Gulrock is covered with a soft, downy fur. None of the other goblins are quite sure what to make of Gulrock’s odd complexion, but fortunately for Gulrock, goblins don’t turn their backs on family, no matter how odd they look.
Like most goblin tribes, this tribe prides itself on its hunting prowess. Since their green leathery skin is a relatively poor insulator, they do all of their hunting and storing food during the warmer months of spring and summer and spend most of the late fall and winter months shivering in their dens, eating the food they’ve stored up.
Now let’s imagine that one year, winter happens to be much longer and tougher than usual. The goblins, being used to having a much longer time period in which to hunt, suddenly find that they are running out of food stores before winter is over. Now Gulrock, with his warm downy fur, is able to spend more time out in the cold hunting and storing food than the other goblins in the tribe. So while most of the goblins and their children sit cold and starving, Gulrock’s family thrives.
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Now suppose that this cycle of long, hard winters lasts for a few more years. Assuming the goblins don’t change their hunting habits (which they wouldn’t, as goblins are well known to be relatively slow-witted), whose children are going to eventually be the healthiest and strongest goblins?
Think of the Children!
In our contrived example, Gulrock’s fuzzy appearance was caused by a genetic mutation. At some point in his developmental history, the set of goblin-hair-production genes that Gulrock inherited from his parents changed, or mutated, in such a way as to give him his furry coat.
This mutation could have happened while those genes still belonged to one of his ancestors, or during some part of his own development. However it happened, this mutation caused a change in one of the physical “traits” of the goblin. Instead of bare, leathery skin, Gulrock ended up with soft, downy fur covering his body. Now in this particular situation, it turns out that this trait was extremely beneficial for Gulrock. By being able to hunt longer than the other goblins, he made sure that he and the rest of his family was more physically fit than the rest of the tribe. This means that if you were to look at all of the goblins in the next generation, Gulrock’s children would be healthy and strong while those outside his family will either have gone to the great goblin hunting grounds in the sky, or be suffering from malnourishment. Assuming that the mutation of Gulrock’s hair-related genes can be passed on to his children, (what scientists call a “heritable trait”), this means that all of his healthy goblin children will also carry this mutation and will be hairy goblins themselves.
If the trend of long winters continued, after a while there would be very few non-hairy goblins remaining; the tribe would consist almost entirely of hairy goblins. In scientific terms we say that the hairy goblins evolved from the non-hairy goblins.
Pay No Attention to the Man Behind the Curtain
Now for a few caveats and points of clarification. This story makes the assumption that the hairy-goblin trait is dominant (meaning that as long as you have one copy of the gene from either parent, you’ll still be a hairy goblin) and is not sex-linked (meaning that both male and female goblins can pass that gene along and experience its effects). Not all genetic traits behave this way.
This particular trait also provided a beneficial effect to the goblins, namely giving them a stronger chance of surviving through the winter. Many genetic mutations have either no beneficial effect or a negative effect on survival. Mutations that provide a stronger chance of survival in a given environment tend to stick around. This is a concept called “selective pressure.”
Conclusion
So what would it take for humans to mutate into superheroes? First there would have to be a genetic mutation granting them superpowers. Second, those super powers would have to give them some kind of competitive edge over their non-super friends in the areas of survival and reproduction. Which means you’ll probably want a mutation that helps you look more like superman and less like a hairy goblin.
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Gulrock the Goblin, Second Gulrock and Baby Goblin images from Shutterstock
