How to Get Boss Feedback
Have you ever wanted honest feedback from your boss, but just weren’t sure how to get it? Lisa B. Marshall, aka The Public Speaker, tells you what to say and do to get the feedback you need to enhance your professional development.Â
Lisa B. Marshall
I recently received an email from a listener, and I wanted to share with you my response. This person had been moved to a different project team at work, and her responsibilities given to another. “I wanted to talk to my former project manager,” she wrote, “and so I invited her to lunch, but her response was vague. She mentioned the change was simply because other managers needed help. However, the answer was not terribly clear and it worried me. Should I try again?”
Dixi, feedback is one of the most important components of professional development, but it’s something many bosses feel uncomfortable giving. So sometimes it’s up to the employee to ask.
I would be very direct about this issue. I would let her know ahead of time that you want to discuss an important matter and would like to take her to lunch to get her advice. If possible, drive in the same car. During the ride, remain positive. Don’t expect the worst. The move could have been a simple personnel shuffle. But it’s important to find out.Â
How to Get FeedbackÂ
At lunch, I would tell her that you are very interested in professional development and that you respect her opinion. Tell her that you really enjoyed working on her team and when the new person took over your responsibilities, it felt like it was something more than simply other project managers needed you. Tell her that you are only interested in revisiting this issue because your professional growth is important to you and that you greatly respect her opinion. Ask her if she could tell you three things you should continue doing and three things you could improve, so that you can continue to advance in your career. Tell her that you are open to hearing her point of view to understand better what may have damaged your professional relationship, if anything has.
If she shares any negative comments with you, it’s critically important that you not react or try to defend your behavior. You simply want to listen and rephrase what she says to you. That is, repeat it back as a paraphrase so she is sure that you have heard what she said. If you don’t understand her comments, be sure to ask for concrete examples of the behaviors that led to her moving you to another team. Once you have heard them, thank her for sharing her thoughts and let her know you really appreciate that she shared them with you. Tell her that you plan to think about her comments and make a plan of action based on them. (It doesn’t mean you’ll change anything, but you are leaving the door open.)
The idea is to very honestly put yourself on the line. She needs to feel it is “safe” for her to share with you whatever is going on. If she sees how important this is to you, then she should respond either by sincerely convincing you that it really was just a resource shuffle and had no reflection on your abilities or by honestly telling you what happened and offering you some feedback that will help you to grown professionally. Either way, it will help you get clarity.
Usually when people are hesitant to share, the issue has to do with hygiene, culture, or communication skills. But again, there may not be an issue at all. It really could be that another manager has more power than she does and insisted she move you to another team.Â
Let me know what you decide to do.Â
This is Lisa B. Marshall helping you to lead and influence. If you’d like to learn more about compelling communication, I invite you to read my bestselling books, Smart Talk and Ace Your Interview and listen to my other podcast, Smart Talk. As always, your success is my business.Â
Image courtesy of Shutterstock.
About the Author
Lisa B. Marshall Lisa holds masters with duel degrees in interpersonal/intercultural communication and organizational communication. She’s the author of Smart Talk: The Public Speaker’s Guide to Success in Every Situation, as well as Ace Your Interview, Powerful Presenter, and Expert Presenter. Her work has been featured in CBS Money Watch, Ragan.com, Woman’s Day, Glamour, Cosmopolitan, and many others. Her institutional clients include Johns Hopkins Medicine, Harvard University, NY Academy of Science, University of Pennsylvania, Genentech, and Roche.