How to Gain Independence from Your Boss
Sometimes you need to micromanage a micromanaging boss.
Sometimes your boss is just too involved in your day-to-day work.
Listener Noam writes in:
I feel like I need approval on almost everything that I do! It is slowing me down and that I’m bothering my boss too much. I don’t want to be a burden—quite the opposite! I want to make their life easier. Do you have any tips on how to be more independent in my situation and bother my boss less.
Noam, it sounds to me like this just isn’t working. You’re an employee who is taking up a lot of your boss’s time, and yet, you want to reduce the time you’re taking, still do a good job, deliver results, and make your boss’s life easier in the process. All while depriving your boss of the joy of micromanaging you and inappropriately wasting your time. What’s your boss going to do with all that free time? Drink? Do you really want to be responsible for this person’s gradual descent into alcoholism, despair, and an early death from psoriasis of the liver?
You’re far better than that. Do your current boss a favor and quit right now. Then come work for me. If you beg, I might be willing to let you do a good job and make my company successful without needing me to spend all my time supervising you.
Your Boss Wants This
Noam, you are any sane employer’s biggest dream. You just might not realize it. You may be thinking, deep down inside, that if your boss is involved in every detail, it has to be this way. Nope. Now that you’re out of school, for better or worse, you have to drive the bus if you want it to get anywhere.
It’s perfectly OK for you to decide how you want to work, and negotiate that with your boss. Chances are that you’re holding yourself back for fear of overstepping your bounds. I hereby officially give you permission to overstep these bounds, and give yourself permission going forward.
Now that you have permission, you should probably make sure your boss buys in to the whole idea. It’s time to negotiate.
Negotiate with Your Boss
Go to your boss and say, “I would like to make your job easier, get results for you faster, and accelerate my own professional development at the same time. I can do this if I can work on my own more, and not bother you with every decision. Let’s map out which decisions I can make on my own, and have me take ownership of those.”
If your boss responds poorly, just throw yourself on the ground, grovel, and kiss your boss’s shoes. Then blame me. “This dumb podcaster told me to have this conversation. I’m sorry! I’ll never rise above my station again!!!” Then start looking for another job, because your boss is a jerk.
Push Back on Micro-Managers
It could be that the problem isn’t you at all, but your boss holding you back. Some bosses care about the business so much that they can’t bring themselves to trust other people to do a good job. Or they may just be insecure dweebs. Either way, you have to take control, without seeming like you’re taking control. Speaking of taking control, have I told you about my zombie army? Of course not. Because I don’t really have one. … or do I?
If your boss is a micro-manager, it’s probably due to insecurity. You can’t just say, “Boss, you’re clearly an insecure dweeb who is deceiving yourself into thinking you’re doing what’s best for the business.” You have to put it in business terms.
Propose an Experiment
Assuming your boss is driven by insecurity, you need to make it safe to trust you. Prove yourself, by your boss’s standards. Propose an experiment.
In my imagination, you are a poorly-paid writer for a catalog about odor-resistant women’s footwear. Go to your boss and propose, “Boss, let’s do an experiment. You want absolute confidence that our catalog is the best, freshest-smelling ever. I want to develop the skills so you can sniff away with complete confidence. Let me design catalog page 47 entirely on my own. Instead of checking every decision with you, I’d like to try going all the way to the finished product and get your input once, at that point. Please tell me what standards you’re using to judge the final product, and I’ll do my best to meet those standards at a level you can trust.”
Some bosses care so much, they can’t trust others. Or maybe they’re just insecure dweebs.
If your boss refuses, add check-ins one at a time until you get to the involvement-level that is the minimum your boss will accept. “How about if I check in with you once at the one-week mark to make sure I’m on the right track, and then again when it’s done?” Or “How about if I check in with you after three days, one week, and then when it’s done?” Hopefully, you’ll end up at an agreement that gives you more latitude than you have now. Then next time, decrease the number of check-ins until you and your boss are confident you can handle the job on your own.
If you’re feeling bogged down in the land of over-involved bosses, someone has to break the logjam. Your boss won’t do it, so it’s up to you. Take it up explicitly with your boss. If you were the one holding yourself back, problem solved. Otherwise, gently ease your boss into having your way by proposing a risk-limiting experiment with specific, measurable outcomes based on your boss’s standards. And if all else fails, change jobs. Self-motivated employees who are eager to learn are a rarity and should be in environments that let their awesomeness thrive!
I’m Stever Robbins. I have upcoming programs on how to prioritize your life so you make progress in a chaotic world. Visit SteverRobbins extraproductivity and use coupon code GETITDONE for a 20% discount.
Work Less, Do More, and have a Great Life!
Image courtesy of Shutterstock.
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About the Author
Stever Robbins was the host of the podcast Get-it-Done Guy from 2007 to 2019. He is a graduate of W. Edward Deming’s Total Quality Management training program and a Certified Master Trainer Elite of NLP. He holds an MBA from the Harvard Business School and a BS in Computer Sciences from MIT.
