Create a Powerful New Identity
Success is about more than what you do; it’s about who you are. Get-it-Done Guy has expert tips on how to create a New You.
Getting what you want requires aligning three areas of your brain: behaviors, beliefs, and identity.
You need to engage in behaviors that will help you reach your goals. Want to build a zombie army? Great! But if you need to give your troops PowerPoint or Keynote presentations and don’t know how to use the software, you’ll fail at communicating your battle plans.
Beliefs also count. If you believe your zombie army is all-powerful, that belief will lead you to do dumb things like take on a squadron of tanks with shambling half-animated corpses with bad discipline. This will quickly end in defeat. (Let’s gloss over how I know that, shall we?)
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My coaching clients often find their beliefs are their biggest obstacle. Sami wanted to move from Nashville to Poughkeepsie. “Of course,” Sami declared, “I have responsibilities. The soonest I could move would be April.” Not really. “You can go tonight,” I explained, “just buy a plane ticket.” A smile broke across Sami’s face as the truth sunk in. As Sami leaped up to buy a plane ticket, I added, “But only after payment for your coaching session clears.” After all, I have a responsibility to help my clients live lives of integrity.
Identity Is Where It’s At
Most powerful of all is identity, who we are. “I could start a company, but I’m not an entrepreneur.” “I’m an overachiever.” “I’m a naturally good speller.” These are all identity statements. Some are more powerful than others. A powerful identity doesn’t guarantee success—you still need beliefs, behaviors, and opportunity—but with a powerful identity, you’ll go out, find the beliefs, learn the behaviors, and seek out the opportunity.
With a powerful identity, you’ll find the “how.”
Start with Who
David was a dating disaster. He would say, do, and wear the wrong thing. “I’m just a clueless geek,” he’d say. If that’s his identity, is it any wonder he’s single?
Then he was cast in a play as a suave romantic. He’s a good actor. One day he walked home, staying in character. Amazingly, people started acting as if he were magnetic.
Romantic David would be the kind of guy who’s always improving his dating skills, real-life David followed his lead and assembled an all-female Board of Directors for expert advice on becoming irresistible to Mrs. Right. Soon, Romantic David was engaged.
Author Your Professional Identity
Coach Steve Chandler points out that most of us develop our identity around being social. We want to be liked. Then we enter the work world and get eaten alive, and not in a good way. Business rules are different. If we show up in business as our social selves, we play by the wrong rules and get creamed. We need to develop a professional identity to use at work.
Isn’t that inauthentic? Chandler says no. Your social self comes from parents, TV, and cereal commercials. But you’re free to author your own professional identity. Learn more about how to keep your professional self out of hot water in Modern Manners Guy’s new book, Reply All…And Other Ways to Tank Your Career.
You Can Add Identities
The best part is that identities are free! I just refined my own professional identity. For years, I thought of myself as “Someone who wants to change the world.” That identity implies I’m not doing it. So I updated to: “I am a world-changer. My contribution is catalyzing and helping other world-changers expand their game.” The difference is huge! It changes what I think about, who I reach out to, about what, and of course, my fee structure. Choose an identity you’d like to adopt.
Adopting a New Identity
Adopt your new identity by creating a mental role model so vivid that your mind wants to be that. Watch and listen in detail. Imagine where and how New You behaves differently from Current You. Does Professional Stever act differently than Social Stever when lecturing zombie recruits on teamwork and trust-building? Of course! Rehearse and refine the New You daily. Every time I revisit Professional Stever, he’s more powerful, has a more commanding presence, and much better abs.
Identities Are Contextual
You don’t have to give up one identity to take on another. Identities can just be aspects of yourself. Social Stever is kind. My pal Bernice asks, “How does my new outfit look?” Social Stever says, “I love it! I didn’t realize spandex was still au couture. You go, girl!”
Professional Stever operates around effectiveness. He is kind, but he’s paid to help make people’s dreams come true. For real. He says, “Spandex might not flatter the body parts you most want flattered. Let’s grab a style consultant and see if we can improve.”
You want flexibility in your identities. I have a professional identity for work, a social identity for friends, and a romantic identity for schmoopie.
Design for Learning
Visualizing the New You doesn’t magically convey the beliefs and behaviors needed to become New You. Make sure New You is someone who commits to learning the necessary skills. My visualization makes it clear that General Stever is a learner. He is the kind of guy who reads The Art of War to hone strategy, plays World of Warcraft to hone tactics, and listens to Get-Fit Guy to hone his abs. The more time I spend with him mentally, the more I become him on the outside.
So keep being you and be someone better. I recommend taking Chandler’s advice and start by crafting a Professional You. Visualize Professional You daily. Contrast Professional You with Social You. How does Professional You interact with colleagues? Run meetings? Keep their word? Deal with difficult people? Visit the new Professional You on a regular basis in your mind, and you just may find you can become Professional You whenever you need to.
Check out more tips on how to work less and do more at get it done guy and connect with Stever on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn.
New you image courtesy of Shutterstock.
About the Author
Stever Robbins was the host of the podcast Get-it-Done Guy from 2007 to 2019. He is a graduate of W. Edward Deming’s Total Quality Management training program and a Certified Master Trainer Elite of NLP. He holds an MBA from the Harvard Business School and a BS in Computer Sciences from MIT.
