How to Talk with Your Child’s Teacher
If you want to improve communication with your child’s teacher, this episode is for you. The Public Speaker shares tips from educational leadership expert, Cynthia Compton, on how teachers, parents, and children can work together toward growth and learning–so that everyone benefits.
It’s back-to-school time, so I thought I’d create a back-to-school episode! Today, I want to share tips for communicating more effectively with your child’s teacher.
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As a parent, today’s topic is one that I wish I had a bit more guidance on. So I turned to reader, Cynthia Compton, who is a professor in the area of educational leadership.
Cynthia had written to ask me if I would write an episode on parent-teacher communication. It turns out that Cynthia has been in education since 1977, and has worked as a teacher in middle school and high school—and later, as a school administrator. She certainly knows quite a bit about education! I thought a collaboration would be perfect, so I asked Cynthia for a little help in creating this episode.
Here are our top tips for improving parent-teacher talks:
What is the Goal?
Cynthia told me that, as with any communication, it is important to first think about what you would like to have happen as a result of the having the conversation. Before speaking with your child’s teacher, think carefully about the goal. What is it that is most important to discuss?
Teachers are People, Too!
Next, keep in mind that teachers are people–just like you! They have families, they have work pressures, and they are doing the best they can. Today, teachers are often evaluated on how much growth your child shows from the beginning to the end of the school year. They want your child, along with the 19+ (if you are lucky) other kids in the classroom, to be as successful as possible, given the administrative constraints they must adhere to. Ultimately, it important to always keep in mind that you both have the same common goal: to ensure growth and learning for your child.
Make an Appointment
If the teacher contacts you, don’t get defensive or apologetic. On the other hand, if you want to speak with the teacher, don’t try to have a quick (or worse, an extended) conversation during drop-off or pick-up. Although it may appear the teacher is available, these times in the classroom are often busy.
If a conference is coming up, ask yourself if your talk can wait for that time. If it’s more urgent, it’s better to schedule a time to address the issue. By making an appointment, you are being respectful of the teacher’s time, and you’ll also ensure that you’ll have the teacher’s full attention.
Oh, and if you call or send an email to set up an appointment, don’t expect an immediate response.–teachers are in the classroom all day, and may be coaching or tutoring after school, so give them at least a day to respond.
Be Prepared With Discussion Questions
Next, think about everything you want to discuss with the teacher. Don’t forget that you’ll want to get your child’s take on the issues, as well. Make a list, and then prioritize the list—you may not have enough time to cover everything.
By the way, it might also be helpful to write your primary goal across the top of the page to help you stay focused on the desired outcome (especially if things become heated during the meeting.)
If you are going to talk about a particular assignment, bring all the materials (the paper, the test, the rubric, etc.) with you, so that you can easily refer to it. Keep in mind, it’s unlikely the teacher will remember exactly how your child did, since she most likely graded several of the same assignment!
If you are there to discuss a behavioral issue, you’ll want to be prepared with questions. What exactly is happening? When does it happen? Where does it happen? Is there a particular student who seems to be involved each time it happens? All of these responses will help to better understand what may be triggering the behavior, and why.
If you are there to discuss testing, be sure to ask for the grading rubric, or ask what the difference is between different grades. Also, if you aren’t clear ask how the testing will be used, just ask. You may want to ask if your child struggling in all areas, or just this one? Finally, it’s always good to ask if there is anything you can do at home to help him or her improve.
Create a Plan
The main idea is to come prepared to the meeting, armed with a list of questions that will engage the teacher in discussion, with the ultimate goal of creating an action plan. Questions help you to gain more information, and help keep both of you working together. Remember, the goal of the meeting is to learn as much as you can from each other about the issue–so that at the end of the meeting, together, you and teacher can brainstorm ideas and strategies that will help your child.
Agree on specific actions, desired behaviors, and deadlines, if possible. By developing a plan, it will help you to measure progress after the meeting. Oh, and don’t forget to ask what method of communication is best for the teacher—don’t just make an assumption based on your preferences.
Follow-Up
When you arrive home, it is a good idea to send a summary of the meeting to the teacher, including a written plan of action. A written plan ensures that everyone is clear and on the same page regarding the the next steps.
Of course, you’ll also need to discuss next steps with your child. Always remain positive and communicate directly about any issues, keeping in mind the goal is positive change.
Remember to remain in touch with the teacher and regularly check the teacher’s blog, eboard, and/or newsletter. If you see positive changes that came as a result of the teacher’s efforts, be sure to share your appreciation and gratitude. I believe that when teachers, parents, and children work together, everyone benefits—especially your child.
Thanks again to reader, Cynthia Compton, who provided her expertise and ideas to help me create this episode. I have tremendous respect for Cynthia, and all the professional educators, who have dedicated their lives to helping our children be the best they can be.
This is Lisa B. Marshall, Helping you maximize sales, manage perceptions, and enhance leadership through keynotes, workshops, books, and online courses. Passionate about communication; your success is my business. If you want even more success in your life, I invite you to listen to my other podcast, Smart Talk: Inspiring Conversations with Exceptional People.
Photos of smiling parent and teacher, teacher in front of blackboard,opens IMAGE file and action plan list courtesy of Shutterstock.
About the Author
Lisa B. Marshall Lisa holds masters with duel degrees in interpersonal/intercultural communication and organizational communication. She’s the author of Smart Talk: The Public Speaker’s Guide to Success in Every Situation, as well as Ace Your Interview, Powerful Presenter, and Expert Presenter. Her work has been featured in CBS Money Watch, Ragan.com, Woman’s Day, Glamour, Cosmopolitan, and many others. Her institutional clients include Johns Hopkins Medicine, Harvard University, NY Academy of Science, University of Pennsylvania, Genentech, and Roche.
