Turn Interview Rejections Into Positive Lessons
Positive steps you can take to learn from interview rejections.
Lisa B. Marshall
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Turn Interview Rejections Into Positive Lessons
I received this email from Kylie P. from Missoula, Montana:
I completed graduate school last year and have been seeking a great job. I’ve had interviews for almost every job I’ve applied for, about 15 interviews, several of which I really wanted, interviews for which I prepared for days in advance. Despite this success with getting interviews, I haven’t been offered a single position. I am really frustrated!
I’ve contacted some of the organizations and they talked mainly about that I just didn’t have enough experience relative to the selected individual…but I still feel there must be some way to improve my interview. Can you offer suggestions on what to do when you’ve been searching for a long time and all you end up receiving is negative feedback/rejection?
How to Turn Interview Rejections Into Lessons
No one enjoys being rejected and in this job market you’re certainly not alone in your frustration. In fact, I dedicated an entire chapter in my audiobook on interviewing to ways to remain upbeat.
But that’s not enough. As every good salesperson knows, it’s important to view every “no” as one step closer to “yes.” In this episode I’ll focus on specific steps you can take to turn serial rejections into positive lessons for improvement.
Kylie, as you mentioned, asking for feedback is definitely the way to go. However, it can be difficult to solicit and receive honest feedback. As you’ve experienced, often when a candidate asks for feedback the “safe” and common response is, “The selected individual was a better fit for the position.” Unfortunately that doesn’t help you improve.
Of course, I can’t tell you what’s going on, without actually hearing and seeing you in action. However, typically, when people consistently don’t get past first round interviews, the problem is often with personal hygiene, attitude, or the ability to communicate clearly and concisely. That said, in today’s job market there are SO MANY reasons things could be going wrong. So, the best approach is to get direct feedback.
Send a Letter Asking For Help
In your email you mentioned that you “talked” with the organization and asked for feedback. I am wondering if you asked for feedback via telephone or if you sent a letter/email. People are much less likely to give you honest feedback immediately over the phone. Instead, you’ll have more success if you send a very polite and professional letter (email is OK, but letter is better) about two weeks after the rejection, explaining you are asking for feedback as part of your career development.
Specifically, tell your interviewer that you were impressed with him and his credentials. Then ask him if he would be willing to help you. Most people are interested in helping others–or at least that’s what I believe. Tell him you are sincerely interested in your professional growth and would like for him to provide you brutally honest feedback so you can improve your interview skills.
Then ask them for three specific things you did well (and that you should continue doing) and three things that you might consider doing differently the next time. By specifically asking for both the good and the bad you’re much more likely to get some thoughtful feedback that can help you. Again, if your request is in writing, it allows the interviewer time to create a direct but tactful response. And this also gives him the choice to respond in writing or by phone (whichever is more comfortable for them).
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Ask A Neutral Third Party
Next, if you had an “insider” connection at any of the interviews, I would contact that person and ask if she can find out what really happened. Often a hiring manager is much more willing to give honest feedback to a neutral third party, like a colleague or an outside recruiter.
If you haven’t been working with a recruiter, you’ll want to try to find one that specializes in your area. Many recruiters are also interview savvy and are willing to help, especially if they think they can place you.
I recognize that these strategies still may not work, so you may want to hire a communication professional. A good career coach can not only provide insight into your strengths and weaknesses, but he can also teach you a process for creating and delivering accomplishment success stories that will create the biggest impact during your interviews.
A common mistake is that candidates haven’t chosen, planned, and practiced specific career stories that directly relate to the skills and experiences desired for each position. You said in your email that you prepared for days, however, this type of in-depth preparation can take longer than a few days. (By the way, I outline this process in my interview audiobook. OK, I promise that’s the end of my shameless self-promotion.)
Use Your University Career Services
Another no or low-fee suggestion is to use the career services offered by your undergraduate or graduate school. Because they help so many people with interviewing, they are often quite good. In particular they are usually highly skilled at helping new graduates identify and articulate skills and experiences that are transferable to the workplace.
Ask to set-up a mock interview with one of the school’s career coaches or peer volunteers (if they have them). Give him or her the questions that you anticipate and be sure to video record one of these mock interviews so you can watch yourself later.
Make An Interview Video
If you can’t get together with your school’s career counselor in person, you can always send an interview video. Send the person helping a link to a video (use Viddler.com) of you answering interview questions. Be sure to also send the job description. Again, you’ll want to ask them to provide you three specific things you did well and three specific things that could be improved. Don’t just ask for feedback in general because you’re likely to get a generic “yeah, it looks OK to me” response. Again, that won’t help you.
If you are unable to get career services to help you, or perhaps in addition to the help you get from them, you might want to contact an old boss and an old professor and ask for their help too. And you can even just ask a friend or family member for their feedback as well. All of these people can help you tremendously by providing you honest, direct feedback and insight on your strengths and weaknesses.
By the way, when I started doing this show, I followed my own advice and sent my first few episodes out to a few colleagues, friends, and family. I received some “stinging” comments, along with some positive feedback, that helped me to improve the show. I was glad to have the positive comments because they helped me to feel better about the stuff I had to work on.
Ask Directly At The End Of Each Interview
Finally, the next time you’re at the end of an interview you’ll want to say something like this: “I’ve really enjoyed our conversation and I’m interested in working here at XYZ company. I think I would make a great fit for the following reasons…Do you have any concerns or hesitations?” You’ll be able to tell immediately by the reaction if there is a concern.
If you’re lucky, the person may choose to share any concerns, but again, there’s a good chance they won’t be completely truthful and you’ll need to send a follow-up note if you don’t get the job. If they do tell you something, you’ll need to listen carefully, and NOT react. You’ll want to thank them for giving you the feedback. You might consider addressing a concern very, very, briefly on the spot, however, the time to really address it is in your thank you letter. It’s critical to remain professional and polite at all times.
So there you have it. Kylie, the most important thing you can do with interview rejections is try to learn as much as you can by getting honest direct feedback. You can do that by sending a letter to your interviewer, asking a neutral third-party, utilizing the career services offered by your university, making practice videos, and of course, directly by asking at the end of each interview. Good luck on your upcoming interviews and please let me know when you get the job you want!
This is Lisa B. Marshall. Passionate about communication; your success is my business.
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If you have a question, send email to publicspeaker@quickanddirtytips.comcreate new email. For information about keynote speeches or workshops, visit lisabmarshall.com.
Frustrated Businessman image courtesy of Shutterstock
If you want to learn more about effectively answering interview questions, along with a process that will guarantee you success in the interview, I recommend picking up a copy of Ace Your Interview. This interview book is like no other. This is the best investment you can make in your career. You can listen to an audio sample here.
About the Author
Lisa B. Marshall Lisa holds masters with duel degrees in interpersonal/intercultural communication and organizational communication. She’s the author of Smart Talk: The Public Speaker’s Guide to Success in Every Situation, as well as Ace Your Interview, Powerful Presenter, and Expert Presenter. Her work has been featured in CBS Money Watch, Ragan.com, Woman’s Day, Glamour, Cosmopolitan, and many others. Her institutional clients include Johns Hopkins Medicine, Harvard University, NY Academy of Science, University of Pennsylvania, Genentech, and Roche.