Choose Your Battles Wisely
When you’re right, it’s tempting to fight to prove it. Not so fast!
They say you should choose your battles wisely. That makes sense. Consider Napoleon. He chose to fight at Waterloo, and that didn’t work out well for him. If he’d chosen more wisely, he might have chosen to fight at Gettysburg. He would have given the Gettysburg Address and had a movie made about him, only instead of starring Daniel-Day Lewis, it would have started Daniel DeVito. One unwisely-chosen battle centuries ago changed the entire course of the Academy Awards centuries later.
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In our daily lives, choosing battles unwisely means we can waste a lot of time and energy on the wrong thing. This very evening, listener Emily proclaimed on her Facebook wall that she was thrilled that a business celebrity sent her a message. Imagine my surprise to find out she was talking about me! I could have spent time arguing that I’m certainly not a celebrity, and I’m far too humble and modest to deserve such acclaim and adoration. But what would have been the point? I’m sure you’ll agree it makes much more sense to accept her statement at face value—as simply a statement of fact—and save my energy for an important battle.
Where in your life and work do you fight battles? Why? Are those the right battles? Let’s explore how you can make sure you fight less and win more.
Choose Winning Battles
I know this sounds obvious, but before going into battle, ask yourself honestly whether you can win. I know you feel you can win, but think it through. A coaching client was furious that his biggest customer had stolen some of his technology. He wanted to fight it out in court, but if he won the lawsuit, he’d lose the customer and go out of business. This battle couldn’t be won.
It’s like trying to get your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, spousal equivalent, or polyamorous family unit to put the toilet paper roll on with the paper facing the other direction. Not only will you lose that battle, but you’ll end up bringing home flowers for a month to repair the damage you made with that foolish, foolish request. You cannot win that battle. So why try?
Will You Benefit if You Win?
If you do win, make sure you’ll get some benefit from the win. I know people who spend years obsessing over how they were right and Jordan Dinklebert was wrong, but Jordan wouldn’t listen and insulted them in front of the entire team. Now they’re just waiting for a chance to take revenge. They spend years plotting, and the day they’re named employee of the year, halfway through their acceptance speech, they say, “And it’s no thanks to Jordan Dinklebert. I was right, you were wrong, and you’re really just a big poopie head. So there!” Uh, huh. A poopie head. Well, that little bit of revenge was certainly worth the wait.
Revenge is usually a battle that takes up a lot of resources, and even if you win, you don’t really benefit. In Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn, Kahn declares, “Revenge is a dish best served cold.” Really? Who wants a cold dinner? Revenge is not a dish best served cold. Oreo ice cream cake is a dish best served cold. So what’s the lesson here?
Fight battles you can win, and make sure if you win, you actually benefit from winning.
Choose Battles that Are Worth the Fight
Even if you benefit, make sure you benefit enough to be worth the fight. Take this example: A non-profit organization owned a parcel of undeveloped land. A developer wanted it. He sued the non-profit with a frivolous lawsuit, and offered to settle if the non-profit would sell the developer the land for $100,000, which was market price.
The non-profit, on principle, didn’t want to give in. But they weren’t using the land for anything. And in America, it can cost $20,000 to get a frivolous lawsuit thrown out of court. And the developer, with lawyers on staff, could just sue again. The non-profit realized that even though they could win and keep the land, that win would cost them $20,000. If they didn’t fight, they would walk away with $100,000. Were they getting shafted? Yes. But were they smart? Definitely. They chose not to fight a battle that wasn’t worth the fight.
Consider Opportunity Cost
Last but not least, consider how else you could spend your time. Even for a battle you can win that is worth the fight, there may be better ways to use your time. One of my clients was spending a lot of time and energy pursuing a contractor who had done shoddy work to his home, defrauding him out of $50,000. When we explored the decision to pursue the case in court, and figured that, given the contractor’s resources, my client would recover $25,000 at most, if he won. It would probably take him a day a week for six months, which is 26 days. An entire work month. And that’s the best case scenario.
We looked seriously at all the other opportunities in my client’s life and work and realized that he had some business development opportunities that would bring in a six-figure contract if he could work on them full time. The battle with the contractor? He could win. He’d benefit. It would be worth it. But he could spend the same time doing business development instead and make even more money. He chose to forgo the battle and spend his time doing business development. Smart.
Next time you start gearing up for a fight, stop. Make sure it’s a battle you can win. Make sure you’ll benefit if you win it. Make sure the benefit is large, and finally, that there isn’t something else you could do instead to get even more benefit elsewhere in your life. And just in case you’re listening Jordan, I was right, you were wrong, and now you should worship me.
/get-it-done-guyThis is Stever Robbins. Check out our awesome new Quick and Dirty Tips website at getitdone quickanddirtytips. It’s beautiful, graphical, and helps you find all kinds of great tips related to any subject you need.
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Work Less, Do More, and have a Great Life!
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