As parents, we cannot say yes to everything and need to ease off the idea of being superheroes. On this week’s Project Parenthood podcast we highlight ways in which we, as parents, can take better care of ourselves so that we can be better parents to our children. Understanding “why is your mental health important” is integral to this process.
The realization
I will never forget the day a colleague asked me when my days off are. At that moment, I realized that I didn’t have one. Between working, coaching, and participating in my children’s extracurricular activities, I didn’t have a single day during the week without obligations or commitments. The truth is, we don’t get a day off from being a parent unless we schedule a day away.
A change for conscious parenting
To be a conscious mother and therapist, I am stepping down as host of Project Parenthood. This has been a fantastic experience and season in my life. Some of us feel the need to be all things to all people, but unfortunately, that is not sustainable. I have been guilty of this numerous times in my life. Addressing the question of “why is your mental health important” helps in taking necessary actions for well-being.
Listen to Chelsea’s first episode of Project Parenthood – What are your parenting values? – in the player below. Find her whole catalog at the Project Parenthood page.
Managing with joy and peace
We need to ask ourselves: What can I manage right now with joy, positivity, and peace? It’s not always about what I want to do—sometimes things have to go to the back burner and wait for another rotation or season. A big part of this process is accepting who we are in this moment, holding an attitude of self-acceptance and compassion, and withholding judgment and criticism.
The importance of intentions
First, we have to be clear about our intentions when we commit to things or add new tasks to our plate. Then, we must ask ourselves: What can I do? What can I afford? What resources do I have? How much energy do I have? Reflecting on “why is your mental health important” can guide these introspections.
Reflect before committing
I often ask myself after those initial questions: If I take this on, will I end up resenting the project or resenting something else because this project took up too much of my time or attention?
The discipline of self-care
Self-care is about finding time to relax after completing chores or tasks, or even in between, so you can refuel. Is your life a run-on sentence right now? I know mine often is, and we have to find a way to insert a period—a moment or activity to reset and relax. Raising children is exhausting. We can’t say yes to everything, no matter how tempting or how good it sounds, and this is where easing off the guilt of being superhuman comes in.
The goal of self-care
The goal is to care enough about yourself to take care of yourself. Without saying a word, our children can feel our energy. Our mood can drop when we don’t take care of ourselves. Understanding “why is your mental health important” supports ensuring we aren’t transferring unnecessary stress to our children.
The mindset of sacrifice
Often, there’s a mindset that we must sacrifice ourselves and feel guilty as parents if we put ourselves first or aren’t doing what we “should.” We often build up resentment because we are attached to a big idea or unrealistic expectation.
Teaching through self-prioritization
When we, as parents, don’t prioritize ourselves, we teach our children to do the same. When we take care of ourselves, it sends a message to ourselves that we are worthy, and this can be contagious for our children. Our children benefit from our self-care, reminding us “why is your mental health important.”
Simplifying life
Our lives need to be simplified and decluttered. And how do we simplify our lives? We go back to our values. Is what I am taking on, or choosing to say no to, in line with my values and the person I want to be? Are we saying yes to things because we are thinking of other parents and what they do or think? This path is exhausting, so let the question “why is your mental health important?” lead your decisions.
Practicing self-compassion
How do you calm your nervous system? It’s communicating with your child’s nervous system all the time, and you can control the message it’s sending.
With self-care comes the responsibility of self-compassion. Acknowledge your situation—if it is painful or overwhelming. Understanding “why is your mental health important” can assist in turning off any self-judgment or criticism. Make room for any painful or uncomfortable thoughts or feelings, and then send yourself kindness. Sometimes it is easier to imagine someone we love in an identical situation and think about what we would say to them. Now, say it to yourself and continue to speak kindly to yourself.
Boundless self-care
Remember, self-care has no limits. It can include healthy eating, exercising, making time for rest and relaxation, engaging in a hobby, sport, or enjoyable activity, playing with the dog or cat, walking in nature, or any restorative activity. Understanding “why is your mental health important” empowers these actions.
Disclaimer
All content here is for informational purposes only. This content does not replace the professional judgment of your own mental health provider. Please consult a licensed mental health professional for all individual questions and issues.