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How to Deal with Rejection

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February, often associated with love and romance, can be a challenging month for individuals experiencing moments of heartbreak and rejection. Dealing with rejection is an essential aspect of life; it’s a component of our journey towards love, life, and the pursuit of happiness. So, how do you deal with rejection? We might find answers in unexpected places – embracing not only the reality but also the potential benefits of rejection.

Facing rejection in relationships

Listen to my podcast about rejection (in the player at the top of this post) or come along with me here as we explore the commonality of rejection in the realm of romantic relationships and dating, examining the factors contributing to its prevalence:

  1. Diverse Preferences and Expectations: The inherent uniqueness in individuals’ preferences and expectations often leads to rejection when interests or expectations don’t align.
  2. Online Dating and Social Media: The popularity of these platforms increases both the rates of rejection and potential partners. They often provide many options, making it tougher to settle on a single choice.
  3. Changing Social Norms: Shifts in contemporary dating norms towards casual and non-committal interactions often increases rejection.
  4. Fear of Commitment: Often, potential relationships end due to reluctance towards commitment or readiness for serious relationships.
  5. High Standards and Idealization: Idealized images of ‘perfect partners’ often lead to rejections when reality does not meet these high expectations.
  6. Personal Growth and Self-Discovery: Evolving personal needs and desires can lead to the end of current relationships or the rejection of new ones.
  7. Incompatibility: Even when attraction is mutual, differing values, goals, or personalities can lead to rejection.

Dealing with rejection is a normal part of the dating landscape. Although challenging, these experiences can also be an opportunity for personal growth and learning.

Do you have a VERY hard time with rejection? Dr. Johnson has also covered 8 signs that you’re sensitive to rejection. Listen in the player below as you read on: 

Strategies for dealing with rejection

When rejected by a potential romantic partner, consider the following steps:

  1. Allow Yourself to Feel: Process your emotions instead of suppressing them.
  2. Practice Self-Compassion: Recognize rejection as a part of life, not a measure of personal worth.
  3. Reflect, But Don’t Obsess: Learn from the experience without excessive self-blame.
  4. Stay Connected with Friends and Family: Seek support and company from loved ones.
  5. Maintain Your Routine and Self-Care: Continue enjoying activities that boost your mood and self-esteem.
  6. Avoid Immediate Rebound Relationships: Give yourself time to heal and reflect before moving on.
  7. Limit Contact with the Person Who Rejected You: Try to minimize contact if it causes distress.
  8. Focus on Personal Growth: Use this period to cultivate personal interests and skills.
  9. Consider Professional Help if Needed: Don’t hesitate to seek help if rejection deeply impacts your mental health.
  10. Stay Positive About the Future: Open yourself to new, possible compatible relationships in the future.

The silver linings of rejection

Rejection often focuses on mismatch rather than lack of desirability or worth. It signifies incompatibility rather than unworthiness. Painful as it might be, rejection can serve as a tool for personal growth:

  1. Resilience Building: It arms you with emotional coping mechanisms for future challenges.
  2. Self-Discovery and Personal Growth: It directs introspection towards personal improvement.
  3. Emotional Intelligence Enhancement: It fosters empathy and better emotional understanding.
  4. Realignment of Goals and Values: It propels a re-evaluation of life priorities.
  5. Increased Mental Toughness: It enhances resilience in face of future setbacks.
  6. Doors to New Relationships and Experiences: It paves the way to better matches.
  7. Improvement in Decision-Making Skills: It equips one with lessons for future decisions.

Approach rejection from a growth mindset, view it as a stepping stone to better experiences, and it can serve as a powerful tool on your journey.

Disclaimer

All content here is for informational purposes only. This content does not replace the professional judgment of your own mental health provider. Please consult a licensed mental health professional for all individual questions and issues.

Dr. Monica Johnson is a clinical psychologist and owner of Kind Mind Psychology, a private practice in NYC that specializes in evidenced based approaches to treating a wide range of mental health issues (e.g. depression, anxiety, trauma, and personality disorders). Additionally, she has a focus on working with marginalized groups of people including BIPOC, LGBTQ+, and alternative lifestyles to manage minority stress. She is also dedicated to contributing to her field professionally through speaking, training, supervision, and writing. She routinely speaks at conferences, provides training and workshops at organizations, supervises mental health trainees, and co-authored a book for professionals on addressing race-based stress in therapy. Dr. Johnson earned her bachelor's degree from the University of South Carolina, completed her Psy.D. at the Arizona School of Professional Psychology, and completed her postdoctoral training year at Cherokee Health Systems in Knoxville, TN. She currently lives in Manhattan where she indulges in horror movies, sarcasm, and intentional introversion. You can find her on Instagram and online at kindmindpsych.com.  Got a question that you'd like Dr. Johnson to answer on Savvy Psychologist? You can send her an email at psychologist@quickanddirtytips.comcreate new email or leave a voicemail for the Savvy Psychologist listener line by calling (929) 256-2191‬.


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