How do you help kids with anxiety?
In today’s digital age, where information and stimuli are abundant, it’s not uncommon for our children to develop feelings of anxiety and doubts. These emotions can manifest through continuous, obsessive thoughts that might start with “Maybe…”, “What if…”, or “It could be…” leading to scenarios where the child is stuck on a particular idea or thought, creating a cycle of worry and compulsive behaviors in an attempt to alleviate these feelings.
Understanding the roots of anxious thoughts
This week’s episode of the Project Parenthood podcast delves into the nature of doubts, which can often present themselves as anxious or obsessive thoughts, referring to these throughout as doubts for simplicity. (You can listen to the full podcast about kids with anxiety here.) An example of such doubt might be a child worrying over the possibility of a pet getting sick from accidental consumption of food meant for humans, or fearing illness from touching common surfaces.
The transition from doubt to compulsion
Children may respond to these doubts by engaging in compulsions, which are behaviors or mental acts intended to reduce anxiety or prevent a feared event, although they are not logically or practically connected to them. This can range from seeking reassurance by asking questions repeatedly, checking on something, cleaning, or other rituals.
Why doubts persist
Recognizing the underlying reasons behind these doubts, which can stem from facts, rules, personal experiences, hearsay, and the realm of possibility is very important. This confluence of factors can shift a child’s perception from reality to a world of imagination, where these doubts become more convincing and real, impacting their feelings, behavior, and interactions with the world.
Strategies for caregivers
Mapping anxiety as a family
Approaching your child’s doubts begins with understanding the impact of anxiety on them and the entire family dynamic. Caregivers are encouraged to observe and map out how anxiety affects their child’s physical sensations, thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Noticing how much time and energy is dedicated to accommodating these anxieties enables caregivers to identify and eventually reduce these accommodations, starting with those that least disrupt family life.
The language of support
When communicating with a child experiencing doubt, the podcast suggests shifting away from advice-giving, protective, or demanding language towards expressions of acceptance and confidence. Phrases like “It’s hard but you’re capable of pushing through,” and offering support by asking, “How can I help you?” are recommended. This approach aids in de-escalating anxiety by providing reassurance without enabling the obsessive cycle.
Methods to foster adaptability
- Grounding techniques: Encourages reconnecting with the present through the five senses to counteract the pull of imaginative stories fueled by anxiety.
- Use of stories: Highlights the importance of distinguishing between imagination and reality, using storytelling as a tool to demonstrate this difference to children.
- Cognitive techniques: Introduces a mnemonic, “Robert Just Ate Fries, Tacos, and Pie,” as a cognitive strategy to deal with anxious thoughts, focusing on recognition, acceptance, and returning to the present.
- Personifying anxiety: Encourages children to give their anxiety a name, allowing them to acknowledge and separate their feelings and thoughts from their identity, reducing their impact.
- Establishing a ‘Worry Time’: Proposes setting aside specific times for worrying, thus containing the anxiety to designated periods and minimizing its intrusion into daily life.
Conclusion
Addressing childhood anxiety and obsessive doubts requires a nuanced approach that balances understanding, acceptance, and encouragement. By adopting these strategies, caregivers can support their children in navigating their emotions more adaptively, reinforcing the development of resilience and healthy coping mechanisms. This guide, grounded in psychological expertise, offers a road map for caregivers looking to empower their children amid the challenges of growing up in an anxiety-prone world.
Tune in to Project Parenthood to hear more each week about how to help your anxious kids and improve your parenting.
Disclaimer
All content here is for informational purposes only. This content does not replace the professional judgment of your own mental health provider. Please consult a licensed mental health professional for all individual questions and issues.