Readers often write in to complain about starting a sentence with so, even suggesting that it sounds condescending. Anand Giridharadas of the New York Times agrees that there can be a “logical tinge to so… Compared to well and um, starting a sentence with so uses the whiff of logic to relay authority.” The Telegraph informally confirms this feeling too, claiming that it may sometimes “send the wrong message: It could alienate colleagues who believe they’re being spoken down to when they hear it.” One inquirer on the English Language and Usage site asks, “Am I the only one who finds it annoying?”

So Can Be Used in Many Ways

Not all types of so raise objections, so let’s look at some of the different roles this little word can play. When it is not at the beginning of a sentence or clause, it is often used as an adverb that modifies (or intensifies) an adjective, with a meaning similar to adverb very, like this:

• (1)   Babies are so cute!

This usage is very common in informal speech, but some style guides and editors do complain about this type of so also, as explained in this article about using so as an intensifier.
Next, let’s look at some “uncontroversial” uses of so, and take a closer look at some types that appear at the beginning of a clause. One of the most common and undisputed ways we hear and think of using so is as a coordinating conjunction, like this:

• (2)   I love grammar, so I do research on it and write about it.

The conjunction so in this compound sentence implies that the first part, “I love grammar,” is the cause of the second part, “I do research on it and write about it.” In addition, it prevents a comma splice. (Read this article for more about comma splices.)

It is also common to see so used for the same purpose but at the beginning of a sentence, meaning that the comma from our last example is replaced with a period like this:

• (3)   I love grammar. So, I research and write about it.

In that sentence, so is a conjunctive adverb. One way to understand why this one is a type of adverb is to see that it modifies the whole sentence that follows it, as adverbs often do. It is also synonymous with the word therefore and the less-common ergo; these conjunctive adverbs are often called “transitions” in formal writing classes. These types of adverbs at the beginning of a sentence (also sometimes called modifiers) must be followed by a comma. (Even when conjunctive adverbs occur in the middle of a sentence, which some can, they must be offset by commas, like this: “I did finally learn to ride a bike, however, when I was ten years old.”)

Further, even though this so is at the beginning of a sentence, it is not the type that peeves people. All of these conjunctive adverbs are, however, considered what linguists call “discourse markers” (4). (We can think of the word “discourse” as referring to any dialogue or conversation.)

Another example of sentence-initial so as a discourse marker (and also, not an “annoying” kind), is this one:

• (4)   So, how have you been?

Notice how it doesn’t show that the sentence following the so is caused by something that came earlier, and in fact, it could be the first thing spoken to someone who just entered the room. Or, it could be a way of changing the subject, mid-conversation. That shows us more about why the so is called a discourse marker: It’s something a speaker can use in conversation to refer to information that both speakers have. In this example sentence, we would need context to know what the so is being used for.

Discourse markers connect ideas together in a conversational way.

Now we know that discourse markers connect ideas together in a conversational way, and that usually, the listener understands what the speaker means by knowing the context of the conversation. Other discourse markers are words like well, still, anyway, and besides—mostly when they come at the beginning of a sentence. They can be conjunctions, adverbs, and prepositional phrases, and they serve to express various sentiments to the listener, without actually contributing anything grammatical to the sentence (4). If discourse markers are left out, the speaker might sound a little less natural, but the sentence would still make sense. Here’s an example, with discourse marker well:

• (5)   A: How are you, Jill?

B: Well, Jack, I’ve been a little sick.

By starting with well, Jill is trying to form a personal connection to Jack and maybe even trying to show that she understands that he is likely expecting a positive update. The well can serve to signal that Jill is delivering unexpected news. The specific meaning depends on the context of the conversation.

Getting back to discourse-marker so, another way people use it is to find out if earlier information has been understood correctly, like this:

• (6)   So too much vitamin A can actually be harmful?

Yet another use is to summarize information mentioned earlier in the discourse, like this:

• (7)   So that’s how the game is played.

[Note: You could put a comma after so in the last two examples, but it is optional.]

A final example of this non-exhaustive list is one that linguist Galina Bolden has pointed out: We can use so to return to a topic that was brought up earlier in the discourse, from which speakers got distracted, like this:

• (8) Jill: I got a job interview today! Oh, and my cousin is visiting next week. She’s really excited.

Jack: So tell me about the interview.

As you can see, discourse markers serve a wide array of purposes, which speakers use and understand without even thinking about it.

What Type Of So Peeves People?

As we have seen, when people start a sentence with so, it might be interpreted as authoritative to some listeners. This is also true when people reply to a question by starting with so. However, that type actually serves a very specific purpose, which changes a bit with the question type. For example, a yes-no question is one that gets a yes or a no as an answer, like “Are you okay”? A wh-question, on the other hand—a question that uses an interrogative pronoun like what, why, when, etc.—requires something more than just a yes or a no. For example: “What did you eat?” “Steak.” Or, “Where did you go?” “To Martinique.”

A speaker may unconsciously start the answer to a question with so when he or she has a “maybe” answer to a yes-no question, like this:

• (9)   Jack: Do your classes meet on Saturdays?

Jill: So, the French class meets on Monday and Wednesday, but the writing class meets on Saturdays, yes.

Or, people may start with so when they have a complicated answer to a wh-question, like this:

• (9)   Jill: What did you eat?

Jack: So, at first I ordered the steak, but I sent it back because it wasn’t good, and I wound up having the salmon.

When you answer a question by starting with so, the type of question influences what you mean.

These types of examples are commonly heard in the speech of many English speakers, indicating that discourse-marker so may be gaining in popularity over its alternatives like well or oh, may express greater nuance, and may continue to gain acceptance over time.

What is important is that speakers who use this construction are rarely being off-putting on purpose, and not everyone experiences it negatively. Speech coach Denise Graveline, for example, blogs that this so can be used to express empathy with the listener, and to indicate that whatever is coming next, it is relevant to the asker’s question. A dictionary.com language blogger concurs that using so in this way serves to engage the listener. Plus, sometimes, people start with so merely to gain some thinking time, or to show hesitation, a bit like using um or uh, which linguists call “fillers.” It may be better to listen to the speaker’s tone, or notice people’s facial expression and other non-linguistic signals, before you decide whether they mean to be condescending.

Is This Usage Of So Actually New?

In case you’re wondering whether the annoying kind of so at the beginning of a sentence is new, it’s hard to say for sure. Giridharadas writes that the origins of using the word so to start sentences are widely believed to have begun in Silicon Valley, among computer programmers, yet he also cites an example written by Chaucer hundreds of years ago. Further, linguist Mark Liberman shows extensive data that those who believe that this is a new phenomenon are actually being fooled by the “recency illusion.” His usage graphs show little change in the rate of sentence-initial so in more than one hundred years.

In conclusion, the use of so to start a sentence or a question reply strikes some people as odd, and sometimes carries negative connotations, but people use it in spontaneous speech all the time, making it likely to slowly gain acceptance as people hear it more. There is no logical reason to avoid starting sentences with so, but it is good to know that, stylistically, some formal writers or public speakers may advise against it. Anyone concerned about it can easily avoid it when producing edited writing. For example, it did not appear once in this entire article!

References

• 1.      Bolden, G. Implementing incipient actions: The discourse marker ‘so’ in English conversation.” Journal of Pragmatics 41. 2009. 974–998.
• 2.      “Conjunctions.” Click this link (accessed January 20, 2015).
• 3.      Conjunctive Adverbs. Your Dictionary. Click this link (accessed January 20, 2015).
• 4.      Fraser, B. What Are Discourse Markers?” Journal of Pragmatics 31. 1999. 931–952.
• 5.      Giridharadas, A. “Follow my logic? A connective Word Takes the Lead,” New York Times. May 21, 2010. (accessed January 20, 2015).
• 6.      Graveline, D. “Do You Start Sentences with ‘So’? If So…” The Eloquent Woman. June 8, 2010. Click this link

(accessed January 20, 2015).

7.      Liberman, M. “So New?” Language Log. August 22, 2010. Click this link (accessed January 20, 2015).
• 8.      Peacock, L. “So, Office Jargon: The 19 Worst Offenders in Management Speak.” The Telegraph. (accessed January 20, 2015).