Getting Along with Other Parents
Sometimes we all need a little reminder when it comes to treating our friends with respect.
Cherylyn Feierabend
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Getting Along with Other Parents
Hey there! You’re listening to the Mighty Mommy with some quick and dirty tips for practical parenting.
This week I’ll be talking all about moms getting together and getting along. I don’t want to discriminate against dads though. These tips are for anyone who is spending time with other parents with or without the kids around. It’s nice to know that we have other parents to count on for support, but sometimes we all need a little reminder when it comes to treating our friends with respect.
Respect your fellow parents. It seems so simple, yet it doesn’t always happen. Moms have playgroups, PTOs, kids’ sports events, and field trips to attend with many other parents. And the worst part? You may not get along with everyone. This happens almost anytime you have large groups of people gathering together repeatedly. You don’t have to like everyone and everyone doesn’t have to like you, but being a good role model is a key element in raising respectful, tolerant children. Even if you don’t have good chemistry with someone or feel like you just don’t like them, I encourage you to be respectful and courteous, especially in front of the kids. The Golden Rule is the best reminder when dealing with someone who may be a source of frustration for you. Treat others the way you’d like them to treat you, and you’ll rarely go wrong.
When you are in a setting where your children are socializing with others, it’s important to remember that everyone has different child rearing methods. You can’t assume that your discipline or leniency is going to be the same as another parent’s. You should never discipline other people’s children unless they are in your care. If a child is in immediate danger, you should absolutely take action to stop the activity; otherwise you are better off advising the parent directly.
It is also good to remember that other parents have different rules about what is or is not allowed when it comes to behavior in their own home. If you are fine with letting your children put their shoes on your furniture, you still need to be respectful of other parents’ rules. If a parent requires that their child remove their shoes indoors, I’ve found that it’s better to avoid statements such as, “Oh, I don’t mind. It’s an old sofa.” The idea is that the other parent has rules and as a matter of principle, it’s best not to interfere. This allows them to be consistent with their parenting when visiting your home. If you are concerned about differing rules, you may want to discuss them prior to planning a play date in a private home.
If a child is left in your care for a play date, be sure to find out if there are any special instructions. You should never take someone’s child anywhere without a parent’s authorization. If you need to run to the store to buy more milk, be sure to call and find out if the child can come along or if the parent would prefer to have their child return home. You should never assume that your decision will be acceptable to the parent. If you are ever in doubt, it’s always best to ask. Other parents will appreciate it. I know I would.
[Finally, when you are having your grown-up time with other parents, remember that you should never criticize their children or child-rearing techniques. I don’t know about you, but I certainly don’t think I’m perfect, nor do I know everything there is to know. I’ve learned many wonderful things just by watching and listening to other parents. I’ve also had my own moments of self-proclaimed bad-parenting choices that were witnessed by other parents who were kind enough to let me learn from my own mistakes and gently remind me, that I’m still a good mom even if I felt like the worst at that very moment. It’s always better to support each other because we are all in this together, after all.
I also want to remind you about Grammar Girl’s Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Writing by Mignon Fogarty. It will be available wherever books are sold on July 8th. It’s the first book from a Quick And Dirty Tips podcast host and you can reserve a copy now or preorder one from your favorite online retailer.
That’s it for now. I hope you’ve enjoyed the show. Thank you for listening.
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This is your friend the Mighty Mommy wishing you happy and fun parenting!
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