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Should You Be a Stay at Home Mom or a Working Mom?

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Should You Be a Stay at Home Mom or a Working Mom?

What is the right choice for you?

By


Cherylyn Feierabend


4 minute read
Episode #132

Hey there! You’re listening to the Mighty Mommy with some Quick and Dirty Tips for Practical Parenting.

In this episode I’m going to talk about a parent’s choice to work outside the home versus staying at home to care for your child.

Should You Be a Stay at Home Mom or a Working Mom?

When I found out I was pregnant with my first child I’d been working at the same company for about 10 years. I’d been on the same career path in the same field of work for over 14 years. I was the primary breadwinner of our household. When my daughter was 11 months old, I quit my job to be a stay-at-home mom. That was one of the scariest and most challenging decisions I’d ever made. For me, this was the right choice, but how do you determine what is the right choice for you?

There are more than a few factors to take into consideration when making the decision between being a stay at home mom or a working mom who works outside the home. Of course, there are other options as well. For example, when I originally started staying home I was no longer contributing to our family’s income, but now I’ve been blessed to find a job where I can work from home. That wasn’t an immediate option for me and it probably isn’t for most people. Here are some of the things to take into consideration when making your decision. Keep in mind that these are in no particular order of importance because what is important to you might rate completely different on someone else’s scale of importance.

1.     Affordability – The number of children you have at home can influence your choice when looking at affordability. One child in daycare costs considerably less money than two children in daycare and so on. If you find that you are working simply to pay your daycare provider, then financially, you aren’t doing yourself any favors. You may also consider your other childcare options. Do you have family or friends who are willing to help or trade childcare so you can save money? If you decide to leave your job, will that have a negative impact on the overall income of the household, and will you be able to cut back as needed so that you can maintain a comfortable level of living?
2.     Mental Health and Happiness – If your work brings you joy and you are doing something you enjoy then it might be worth it to you to have your paycheck just cover the cost of childcare. Some people are simply happier if they are working. If this is you, then this is a factor to consider. There are people who simply aren’t stay-at-home personalities. If your job is rewarding and you’d be unhappy without it, you might be better off sticking with it, especially if you feel that you would resent your children if you had to give it up.

 

3.     Adult Interaction – If you do stay home, will you have access to a social outlet of some kind? If you are leaving the workforce, will you be able to volunteer elsewhere or join social groups with other moms who are also at home? You will need adult interaction on at least a semi-regular basis. I’m absolutely speaking from experience here!
4.     Spouses – How does your spouse feel about the situation? This is something you should discuss together and make sure that both parties know exactly what the other wants. If there is a disagreement, you may need to make a pros and cons list together. It’s important to be supportive of one another and hopefully arrive at a decision that is agreeable to both parties.
5.     Your Gut Instinct – Think about how you really feel about the situation. Are you a mom who feels strongly about staying home with your baby? If so, the choice is probably an easy one. You just need to make it work. If you believe that you need to work outside the home to feel fulfilled, you may feel torn, but remember that your mental health is very important–especially when you are caring for someone else.

No matter who you are, the decision to leave the workforce so you can stay home with your child is a challenging one. Try not to let outsiders influence your decision either because you need to do what is best for you and your family. If you choose to work, don’t let anyone tell you that you shouldn’t. Similarly, if you choose to stay home, be equally proud of that decision. The right choice for you may not be the right choice for someone else, but the best choice to make is the one that works best for you and your family.

That’s it for now. Thanks for listening.

If you’d like to request a topic for the Mighty Mommy you can e-mail me directly at mommy@quickanddirtytips.comcreate new email.

This is your friend the Mighty Mommy wishing you happy and fun parenting!

Working Mother image courtesy of Shutterstock

All content here is for informational purposes only. This content does not replace the professional judgment of your own mental health provider. Please consult a licensed mental health professional for all individual questions and issues.







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