Tips for Bringing Home a New Sibling
My son was born when my daughter was just.
Cherylyn Feierabend
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Tips for Bringing Home a New Sibling
Hey there! You’re listening to the Mighty Mommy with some Quick and Dirty Tips for Practical Parenting. Today’s Topic: Bringing Home Baby
Tips for Introducing a New Sibling
My son was born when my daughter was just short of two years old. Although she was excited about the “baby in Mommy’s tummy,” her biggest fears were Mommy being gone for days and the hospital room. I had explained everything that was going to happen. I let her feel the baby kicking, and she would kiss my tummy every day. She loved her baby dolls so I assumed she’d love her new little brother just the same. However, when she came to the hospital to visit me after my son was born, not only would she not speak to me, she also tried to push her brother out of the bed. No matter how much you reassure your child, there is simply no way to predict how your child will react. Since children are individuals, it’s only natural that each will have their own unique reaction to a new sibling. In this show I hope to provide you with some tips to help make the arrival of your new bundle of joy a little more comfortable for everyone involved.
Let’s start with some actions you can take before the baby arrives. Of course, your child will be curious and excited about your new pregnant status. Mommy’s belly is growing and the house around you might be changing to accommodate the new baby. You will definitely want to talk to your child about these changes. Let him know that there will be a baby in the house soon. Tell him that the baby will be very small and will sleep most of the time in the beginning. Give your child some descriptions of what might happen when the baby comes home. It’s important to be honest. Telling your child that you are bringing home a new brother or sister for him to play with might cause him to think that another child his size will be showing up to be an instant playmate.
Now is a great time to tell your child what he was like when he was a baby. Take out pictures and share them with him. Show him how little he was and talk to him about how much he’s grown and all of the great things he can do now. Depending on your child’s age and personality, he may or may not show interest in helping with the new baby. Tell him that he’ll be welcome to help with the baby if he likes, but if he doesn’t seem interested in helping, that’s okay too. If he wants to help you prepare for the baby’s arrival, he can help you with easy, but baby-related, tasks such as folding and sorting baby clothes. If you are preparing a new nursery, you could let your child help pick out something special for the room. Letting him choose a small picture or decoration can help him to feel more involved in the process. You can also find many age-appropriate books at your local library or bookstore to share with your child on the subject of having a new little sibling. Make sure you spend extra time with your child to answer any questions he might have about this new person coming to live with him.
Taking your child to visit friends who have recently had babies can help give him a better idea of what to expect. Now is also a good time to go over the rules regarding how to behave around the baby. You’ll want to go over some simple rules before the baby comes home. You will probably wind up repeating yourself more than once, but it’s never too early to start. Let your child know to always be very gentle with the baby. You’ll also want to stress that he should always ask an adult for permission before giving the baby a toy or any type of food. Also, advise your child that he should never put anything over the baby’s face.
My hospital experience with my daughter still makes me wonder what I could have done differently to make her more comfortable. After witnessing her reaction to meeting her brother in the hospital, I requested that she be brought in more often. Her behavior improved with each visit. I found that if I left the new baby in the room with Daddy and took a walk with my daughter, she was much happier. Children older than three will be able to better communicate their feelings using words. Regardless of the age of your child, there is still going to be the possibility of anger, jealousy, and resentment. As a parent, especially one who has just given birth, this can be a very emotional time. Try not to take the actions of your child personally. It’s important to react in a positive manner. Acknowledging your child’s feelings and reminding him how much you need him will help you both.
Once you have arrived home with the baby, things will change again. Now your child will be affected by the amount of time Mommy and Daddy need to spend with the new baby. The best thing you can do for your child is to keep his schedule as normal as possible. You may be very tired from sleepless nights of feeding and changing the new baby, but don’t use words that place blame on the baby. Don’t say, “I’m too tired because of the baby.” This can increase any animosity your child might already be feeling. Try to avoid delegating to other people as well. Your child wants to spend time with you. If you are tired, try to find an activity you can do together that will allow you to get some downtime. Instead of telling him that you are tired, ask him to read a picture book to you or tell you a story to help you relax. You could even just tell him you need some special time with him too and then snuggle together and watch a movie. You’ll get a little downtime and he gets to spend some time with you.
Finally, if your child is willing to help with the baby, have a lower drawer or shelf where you keep some diapers, wipes, and blankets. Tell him that this will be his special helper area. When you need one of these items, he can be your big helper and retrieve it for you. Be sure to offer many praises for what a great help he is!
The Mighty Mommy’s Quick and Dirty Tips for Practical Parenting is part of the Quick and Dirty Tips network at QuickAndDirtyTips.com. This week Grammar Girl is talking about how to punctuate questions so be sure to check out her podcast!
This is your friend, the Mighty Mommy wishing you happy and fun parenting!
Music – “Golly Gee” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons “Attribution 2.0” https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/
New Baby and Brother image courtesy of Shutterstock