5 Ways to Empower Your Child Against Cyberbullying
One in five kids was reported to be bullied or socially harassed through text messaging or social networking sites in the past school year. Oftentimes, parents aren’t even aware that it’s happening to their child. Mighty Mommy has 5 ways to empower your child against new-age bullying.
Bullies and mean girls have been around forever, but technology has given them a whole new platform for their behavior. That old adage about “sticks and stones can break our bones but names can never hurt us” is no longer true, as name calling online is now considered seriously damaging, potentially leading to disastrous consequences for today’s kids and teens.
Our growing awareness of cyberbullying has definitely helped us learn more about how to cope with and prevent it. So today, Mighty Mommy has 5 suggestions on what to do if online bullying has become part of your child’s life.
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What is Cyberbullying?
Cyberbullying happens when kids bully each other through electronic technology. Cyberbullies can be classmates, online acquaintances, and even anonymous users, but most often they do know their victims. Examples of cyberbullying include mean text messages or emails, rumors sent by email or posted on social networking sites, and embarrassing pictures, videos, websites, or fake profiles.
Many kids and teens who experience cyberbullying are reluctant to tell a teacher or parent, often because they feel ashamed of the social stigma, or because they fear their computer privileges will be taken away at home. As heartbreaking as it is to watch your child suffer from emotional or physical pain from being bullied, there are steps you can take as a parent to help empower your child against the bully:
Tip #1: Stay Involved in Their Online World
Kids are much savvier with today’s electronic gadgets and social media sites than parents are – just check out the numerous digital options available to them in my ! But as intimidating as it might be to keep up with them digitally, by staying involved in their online world, you could be protecting them from danger and bullying.
Familiarize yourself with the basics such as how to implement parental locks on your home computer as well as checking with your cell-phone carrier about limiting cell phone use during certain hours so it’s not accessible to them 24/7. If your child has his/her own laptop, set rules that it cannot be used after a particular time in the evening so there is no opportunity for late night exchanges. If trust is an issue, collect the laptops at a designated time each evening.
Have a sense of what they do online and in texts. Help them be smart about what they post or say. Tell them not to share anything that could hurt or embarrass themselves or others. Make them understand that once something is posted, it is out of their control and there are consequences to everything they do online. Modern Manners Guy has a great episode on . Check it out together.
Also, learn about the sites they like. Try out the devices they use. Ask for their passwords, but tell them you’ll only use them in case of emergency. Ask to “friend” or “follow” your kids on social media sites or ask another trusted adult to do so. Discuss cyberbullying on a regular basis so they will feel comfortable reaching out to you if they or someone they know is being bullied.
Tip #2: Ask Questions if You Suspect Bullying
If you suspect that your child is being cyberbullied, talk to them right away. Let your child know that it’s not his or her fault, and that bullying says more about the bully than the victim. For example, at the beginning of this school year, my teenage daughter admitted she was being bullied on Facebook. After some discussion, we realized this was serious so we addressed the matter with her high school guidance department and assistant principal. Our school has a no-tolerance policy for bullying, but most students are afraid to speak up because of fear of retaliation as well as humiliation amongst peers.
The school handled the matter swiftly and with confidentiality. As it turned out, several other students were also the targets of the same bully, and we also learned that the student who was bullying was the victim of abuse in his own home, which is often the case. If I hadn’t probed into what was bothering my daughter, however, I doubt she’d have come to me on her own terms.
Tip #3: Encourage Your Child to Keep a Diary
Bullying of any kind stirs up many negative emotions in a child, usually leading to extreme low self-esteem. Encourage your child to write about the bullying incidents, to draw, or to do any other creative activity that will help him deal with these emotions. Your child may need time before he or she is prepared to discuss feelings with you, but in the meantime encourage your child to create and use a safe space to express those feelings. Remain open to the idea that they may want to talk about the problem, but just not with you. Make it clear that it is perfectly appropriate for them to want to talk to another trusted adult about what they’re going through such as a counselor, therapist, or family friend.
Tip #4: Don’t Let Your Child Isolate
Many times, victims of bullying tend to withdraw and isolate themselves. Spend extra time and attention on your child to engage them in some of their favorite activities, but don’t force a discussion about bullying before they’re ready. Keep them involved in family, community, and other group activities while they works through some of the pain from the bullying. Knowing that they have family support can be a big source of comfort during this awful time.
Tip #5: Stand Strong with Others
If your child is the victim of bullying or knows of another child who is, they need to learn that silence in this matter is not OK! This is not an easy task, but if enough peers stand together and show support for the victim, it sends a message to bullies that it’s not acceptable and won’t be tolerated. It’s empowering to be pro-active instead of a bystander. For more information visit
Has your child been bullied online? How did your family deal with it? Please share your thoughts in the comment section or post your ideas on the Mighty Mommy Facebook page. You can also connect with me on Twitter @MightyMommy or e-mail me at mommy@quickanddirtytips.comcreate new email. Visit my family-friendly boards at Pinterest.com/MightyMommyQDT.
Please check back next week for more parenting tips and until next time…happy parenting!
Cyberbullying image from Shutterstock