3 Worst Halloween Costumes of 2014
Nothing like a terrible, tacky Halloween costume to ruin a party – and your reputation. Modern Manners Guy has the top 3 worst costume ideas for Halloween 2014.
Richie Frieman
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3 Worst Halloween Costumes of 2014
Next week, kids and adults across the U.S. will be dressing up in scary, embarrassing and/or hilarious costumes to celebrate Halloween.
Personally, I love Halloween. Not only because it celebrates my favorite vegetable – candy corn (it counts, Nutrition Diva, it totally counts!) – but because of the unintentionally awkward costumes that some people choose to wear in public..
So before you make a major misstep with your “unique” take on a serious issue (dressing up as a wifebeater in a wifebeater is not cool), check out my top 3 worst Halloween costumes of 2014:
Tip #1: The Tasteless Costume
Nothing rings in the spirit of Halloween better than celebrating a deadly virus that is spreading more and more each day, right?
I’m not even going to name the web site that’s currently offering this despicable excuse for a costume, but just know that you can get your very own Ebola hazmat costume, for just under $80. Yes, folks, you read that right – an Ebola costume.
Even my brother, who is one of the most respected virologists in the country, said that this costume is in poor taste – and he gets giddy like a kid in a candy store when a fresh new virus hits the news.
Not only is the whole concept of this costume despicable, the manufacturer’s web site claims that this outfit will be “the most ‘viral’ costume of the year.” Classy. Real classy.
Here’s what you’re saying when you don a tasteless costume like the Ebola hazmat suit:
“I tried to be funny, but instead I turned out to be a complete and utter moron.”
It’s one thing to wear a costume that pokes fun at something in the news or pop culture, it’s quite another to mock something as horrific as this modern day plague. This costume even lacks creativity. They took a cheaply-made hazmat suit, added a patch, and charged you $50 more. That’s like buying a pair of thick plastic glasses and a crappy tie for $100 so you can go as Clark Kent.
When you come across an outfit like this in your Halloween costume search, do not click ADD TO CART.
Tip #2: The “Naughty” Anything Costume
The “Guy” part of my Modern Manners Guy moniker may lead you to believe that as a proud member of my gender, I’d be up for anything “naughty” on Halloween. Well, maybe…if I was in college.
But as an adult who is very aware of the internet’s ability to store photos forever, the last thing I want attached to my name is an embarrassing barely-there outfit. I’m not only talking about the Naughty Nurse or the Naughty Schoolgirl. The fellas are just as susceptible to the lure of naughty Halloween costumes. Going as the Naked Cowboy or the Swimmer (wearing nothing but a Speedo and a smile) is just not a good idea for anyone over age 20.
Why?…
When you put on a “naughty” Halloween costume, you send two messages:
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You’re available, now. Like, seriously, NOW! I mean, where’s your room?
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You lack all creativity and originality.
I’m all about “if you have it, flaunt it,” but when you strut out in public wearing only a fig leaf over your private parts and call yourself “Adam” or “Eve,” you look ridiculous. Sure, you’ll get noticed, but they’ll be laughing when you leave.
Not to sound like a prude, but if you are going the naughty route on Halloween, try to leave something for the imagination. Tease, don’t sleaze. This way, when you’re up for that promotion next year and your boss happens upon pictures from Halloween, you can at least talk your way out of it. Make it a classy night, not one that will make you front and center of everyone’s Instagram page (#craycray).
Tip #3: The “Not Trying” Costume
In the hit show, The Office, Jim had a reputation for cop-out Halloween costumes. There was his Facebook costume where he just wrote the word “book” on his face.
Another was putting 3 black dots on the right side of his tie to be “Three-Hole Punch Jim.” Funny for TV, yes, but pretty lame in real life.
This happens a lot. You get invited to a party where costumes are mandatory, but you’re not really into it so you cop-out with one of these non-costumes. There’s always one person at a Halloween party who shows up in a suit and tie and says they’re dressed as a Lawyer. Who goes to a Halloween party as a lawyer? Really? Whether or not this person meant to offend, they will make the host feel badly by putting zero effort into their outfit.
I get that Halloween is not for everyone and I’m not saying you have to dress up. I’m 35 and when I take my 6-year-old and 2-year-old trick or treating, I will not be dressing up. Not because I don’t love Halloween, but because my job that night will be to chase my son from house to house and make sure he doesn’t dive headfirst into a bowl of Kit Kats (as was the case last year).
However, if I was invited to a party, you bet your butt I’d rock out something creative and fun. So for all the party poopers out there who think they’re too cool to dress up this Halloween – relax, you’re not. You’re just taking yourself way too seriously.
As always, if you have another manners question, I look forward to hearing from you at manners@quickanddirtytips.comcreate new email. Follow me on Twitter @MannersQDT, and of course, check back next week for more Modern Manners Guy tips for a more polite life.
Do you have any recent graduates in your circle, or perhaps someone who is looking to start a new career, check out my new book, Reply All…And Other Ways to Tank Your Career for great tips and advice on job success. It’s available now!
Naughty nurse image courtesy of Shutterstock.