5 Ways to Raise a Happy Child
We can’t control outside circumstances, but we can choose how we deal with life’s setbacks if we have the right mindset and tools. Today, Mighty Mommy shares 5 ways you can raise happier kids that will in turn grow into solid, well-adjusted adults.
As parents, we have an awesome responsibility to raise thoughtful, independent, self-assured, and productive children. While those ideals are what I want for my 8 kids, there’s something else I believe is equally important and that’s instilling a foundation of happiness; and by that I mean teaching them how to create and sustain joy on their own, regardless of their circumstances.
Parents are often their children’s biggest role models so fortunately, we are offered countless opportunities during those precious years that we are caring for them to show them healthy lifestyle choices, especially by modeling these things ourselves. When life throws us a curveball—whether it be a disappointing situation like having our babysitter cancel at the last minute or something more devastating like the unexpected loss of a job, how we react in front of our young kids can leave a lasting impression on them and plant seeds for how they will mimic similar situations in their own lives when things don’t go their way.
We can’t control outside circumstances but we can choose how we will deal with life’s setbacks if we have the right mindset and tools, so today Mighty Mommy shares 5 ways you can raise happier kids that will in turn grow into solid, well-adjusted adults.
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Tip #1: Turn Mistakes into Learning Opportunities
In our large family, things very rarely go according to plan, so I am thankful that unconditional love and acceptance is part of the norm in our lives. We all make mistakes, so when we as parents make one (particularly in front of one of our kids) this is the perfect opportunity to own it and even express how we’d handle it differently the next time.
Recently, I was on a cleaning mission and got rid of three stacks of papers that had been sitting on our kitchen counter for weeks. When my son asked me if I’d seen his science report, I immediately said “no” and that he must have misplaced it in his bedroom or left it in his backpack or locker. He was certain he had left it in a folder on the kitchen counter and had told me he had placed it there because it needed a parent signature for extra credit. Sheepishly, I realized he was probably right, and that in my haste to tidy up the kitchen, I had most likely thrown it out in those papers I ditched. He had spent several hours on that report and didn’t have a copy of it. I blew it, but I came clean and told him I had mistakenly tossed it. He was not happy with me one bit, and had to recreate the report because of my actions. I apologized and told him and the rest of my children that in the future, I would always check in with them before getting rid of any school paperwork, but with the same token, they were going to have to take responsibility for making sure they didn’t leave important papers in places they didn’t belong. Kids thrive when they know they are accepted and when they grow up knowing mistakes can be learning opportunities—that carries over into adulthood.
Tip #2: Catch Them Doing Good
By nature, humans tend to point out when someone has done wrong. Even though it’s necessary to teach a child right from wrong, especially if it’s a situation where they can be harmed or need redirection in order to grow and learn, it’s equally as important to make note of when you notice your child doing something right.
When our kids are praised for something kind they’ve done, or done well, and we take the time to let them know we’ve noticed, this builds self-esteem as well as encourages a growth mind-set. This doesn’t mean we have to become cheerleaders that wave our parental pom poms every time our child draws a pretty picture or puts his dirty clothes in the hamper. However, when we genuinely and regularly take notice of their efforts such as making eye contact and saying “I’ve noticed you’re really taking the time to keep your room more organized—good for you!”, we’re fostering that growth mind-set which inspires our kids to do better and enjoy their activities more because they’ve had consistent, positive reinforcement.
Tip #3: Allow Them to Contribute
All human beings desire to be valued and needed so allow your children the chance to contribute and make a difference in your own household. No matter what his age, find something meaningful he can do to help out. Young children can simply pick up their own toys at the end of the day and return them to the toy bins. Older kids can be responsible for participating in the care of the family pet or being in charge of their own area of the house such as making sure the towels are always stocked in the linen closet or checking the pantry each week to see what routine items you’re running low on. When you consistently acknowledge that he’s making a contribution to the family, it will heighten your child’s sense of connection and confidence, two important seeds necessary to grow lasting happiness.
See Also: How to Get Kids to Help Out With Chores
Tip #4: Lay a Foundation of Gratitude
Living in a state of gratitude can truly be one of the most important foundations for living a life of true joy. When we stop and showcase appreciation for all the little things that are going well in our household—sipping ice cold milk with a cookie, getting tucked in with a warm blanket and a hug on a cold winter’s night, the ability to do a math problem easily even though reading literature can be a struggle—our kids learn to feel filled up with the warmth of gratitude. This type of happiness then trickles out of us and helps to keep our mindset joyful thus allowing for feeling stable and secure when it’s time for them to move into the world as young adults.
See Also: 6 Ways to Curb Your Child’s Sense of Entitlement
Tip #5: Interact With a Sense of Humor
Families are busier than ever these days leaving many of us overscheduled, overwhelmed, and just plain exhausted on a daily basis. When we lighten up and learn to take time out of our busy schedules to stop and smell the roses, we show our kids how important it is to stay refreshed and not to take all of life so seriously. Start the day off by tickling your child after breakfast and telling her a silly joke. Surprise her with a funny picture in her lunchbox. Play upbeat music on the weekend when you’re doing your chores. Even if you’re not the jokester type, get into the habit of interjecting humor into your regular routines. When our kids see us enjoying the simple things in life, we’re laying another important brick in their happiness foundation so that they, too, will learn to offset stress and interject fun and laughter into their own busy lives.
See Also: 5 Ways to be a More Playful Parent
How do you instill happy traits to your child? Share them with us in the comments section at quickanddirtytips.com/mightymommy, post your ideas on the Mighty Mommy Facebook page. or email me at mommy@quickanddirtytips.comcreate new email.
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Parents Giving Piggyback Ride to Kids, Kid Rolling Dough, and Tickling images courtesy of Shutterstock.