8 Tips to Grow Your Grit
What’s more important for success than talent, social skills, motivation, IQ, or practice? It’s a scrappy little quality called “grit.” This week, the Savvy Psychologist offers 8 tips to cultivate grit in kids–or yourself!
Ellen Hendriksen, PhD
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8 Tips to Grow Your Grit
It’s time for back to school—a perfect time to showcase the topic suggested by Savvy Psychologist listener, Ty C., of New York City: grit.
What is Grit?
What is Grit?Whether we’re talking about mettle, perseverance, doggedness, fortitude, or tenacity, it can all be boiled down to four letters: G-R-I-T. Grit is the ability to stay interested in and expend effort towards long-term goals. In short, it’s the opposite of flakiness.
It’s also more important for kids’ school achievement—and success in life—than talent, social skills, motivation, IQ, or practice. Indeed, while a key component of success may be the now-famous Ten Thousand Hours of Practice rule, grit is what compels someone to show up for ten thousand hours of practice in the first place.
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Dr. Angela Duckworth, of the University of Pennsylvania, is the originator and best-known researcher of grit, which she defines as, “working strenuously toward challenges, maintaining effort and interest over years despite failures, adversity, and plateaus in progress.”
In short, grit predicts who will stay in for the long haul: who makes it through West Point’s grueling summer training program, who finishes a punishing surgical residency program, who wins the national Spelling Bee, and who gets into the Ivy League, even with lower SAT scores than their peers.
As a concept, grit is a bit of a chameleon, because it is both a trait and a skill. In other words, grit appears to be an inborn part of personality, but that doesn’t mean it’s fixed–it’s not simply that “persevering people persevere.” Grit is simultaneously a skill that can be learned and practiced. Grit can be grown, even if the cutting edge of research is still figuring out exactly what works.
And you don’t have to be John Wayne or star in a Coen brothers movie to show some grit. To that end, here are 8 tips to foster grit in a school-aged child (or, for adults who aspire to grittiness, how to grow your own grit):
Tip #1: Encourage Practice
Even better, encourage challenging practice. Practice shouldn’t rehash a skill in which you’re already competent; aim for something one step above your current abilities.
Tip #2: Praise Effort, Not Outcome
When we praise a child with, “Perfect!,” or “Great job,” their exertion dries up—there’s nowhere left to go. Instead, praise effort: “That must have taken a lot of work to be so great.” Or, “You worked really hard on that!”
Tip #3: Teach That Frustration and Confusion are Signs of Progress
Tip #3: Teach That Frustration and Confusion are Signs of ProgressThe thoughts, “Frustration means it’s time to quit,” or “Since I’m confused, I probably can’t do it,” should be replaced with. “Getting frustrated is a normal part of learning something hard,” or “If I’m confused, that means I’m figuring it out.” Offer these re-frames when you hear those first exasperated sighs and grumbles of frustration.
Along the same lines, offer support, but don’t swoop in to rescue kids at the first sign of struggle. As long as eventual success is within reach, allow your child to labor over those stubborn LEGOs or troublesome multiplication tables, and reinforce the struggle as a part of learning.
Tip #4: Teach Courage
Tip #4: Teach CourageCourage is closely aligned with grit. Courage isn’t merely doing challenging things–it’s being afraid, and then digging in your heels and trying anyway. In other words, fear is a prerequisite to courage.
To apply this, when your little ones say they’re scared, tell them, “You can do scary things.” Then, the next time you need to submit that manuscript or get that mammogram, tell yourself the same.
Tip #5: Encourage Long-Term Commitment
The specific activity—piano, gymnastics, chess—doesn’t matter as much as the effort. Let kids try out different activities until they find one they love and want to stick with. And by ‘try out,’ I don’t mean one lesson: ask them to hang in there for the season or the semester. If, after that, the activity really isn’t a match for them, don’t re-register–but do ask them to try something else.
Tip #6: The Growth Mindset
This concept has been all over popular psychological science recently, but it bears repeating.
In short, in a fixed mindset, kids believe that their intelligence or abilities are set traits that render them successes or failures, regardless of effort. However, in a growth mindset, kids learn that their intelligence or abilities can be developed through—you guessed it—gritty hard work and perseverance.
So, teach kids that the brain is like a muscle: the more you use it, the stronger it gets. Initial failures and struggles are just the brain pumping iron on the way to success.
Tip #7: Use Visual Reminders to Encourage Perseverance and Delayed Gratification
For example, for little kids saving for a big purchase, ditch the piggy bank and save coins in a clear jar, so they can see their progress. For kids trying to change a habit, or to encourage practice, use a visual token system—for instance, they get a marble in a jar every time they practice piano, or for every day they don’t bite their nails. When the jar is full, they get a previously agreed-upon reward (and, of course, the satisfaction of a job well done.)
Tip #8: Grit Won’t Apply to Every Situation
Kids won’t be particularly gritty at something they hate. So don’t overstate grit as the cure for hating algrebra or hating sports—grit is about hanging in there for the passion, not about, “you’re going to do it no matter what, and you’re going to like it.” Passion increases grit, but grit allows kids to pursue their passion.
Please note that all content here is strictly for informational purposes only. This content does not substitute any medical advice, and does not replace any medical judgment or reasoning by your own personal health provider. Please always seek a licensed physician in your area regarding all health related questions and issues.
REFERENCES
Burkhart, R.A., Tholey, R.M., Guinto, D., Yeo, C.J., & Chojnacki, K.A. (2014). Grit: A marker of residents at risk for attrition? Surgery, 155, 1014-22.
Duckworth, A.L., Peterson, C., Matthews, M.D., & Kelly, D.R. (2007). Grit: Perseverence and passion for long-term goals. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 92, 1087-1101.
https://sites.sas.upenn.edu/duckworth/pages/research
Photos of Perseverence, toddler on steps, and Keep Going sign courtesy of Shutterstock.
About the Author
Dr. Ellen Hendriksen was the host of the Savvy Psychologist podcast from 2014 to 2019. She is a clinical psychologist at Boston University’s Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders (CARD). She earned her Ph.D. at UCLA and completed her training at Harvard Medical School. Her scientifically-based, zero-judgment approach is regularly featured in Psychology Today, Scientific American, The Huffington Post, and many other media outlets. Her debut book, HOW TO BE YOURSELF: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety, was published in March 2018.