Blind Date Etiquette
Blind dates tend to be awkward and nerve-wracking. Take the pressure off with Modern Manners Guy’s 3 easy tips.
Richie Frieman
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Blind Date Etiquette
Hands down, one of the top relationship questions I’m asked is how to handle blind dates. As I read email after email from panicked daters, I can feel their anxiety about meeting a stranger in such a charged, awkward situation..
It’s only natural to be nervous. After all, this meeting is a big deal and you should be prepared to bring nothing less than your A-Game. So make sure you wear plenty of deodorant because you will surely be sweating the small stuff.
Check out my top 3 quick and dirty tips for a successful blind date:
Tip #1: Your “Interview You”
A common misconception is that the “just be me” philosophy works in all situations.
Not true.
Yes, it’s wrong to project a false idea of who you are, but a blind date is not the time to let all the skeletons out. The goal is to present the best version of yourself.
A Modern Manners Guy Facebook friend, Jeremy, recently met Melissa for the first time after his brother set them up. Jeremy is a catch. He’s good-looking, smart, has a great job, owns his own house, has a clean record, and even fought for our country. But all that does not mean that Jeremy should simply to float through the date. Even though his brother spoke highly of him to Melissa (and about Melissa to him), there will always be a level of skepticism from both parties at a blind date. This is only natural. That’s why we have to monitor our actions closely to make a great first impression.
See also: Can You Use a Coupon on a First Date?
This is the time to bring out what I call the Interview You. Not a false you, just your best you. The Interview You changes your whole demeanor; you sit up straighter, you don’t drink as much, you don’t stuff your face with rigatoni, and you watch your speech, ditching the sailor mouth. Again, this is not being phony, it’s being an adult.
If you want this blind date to lead to a second date, you need to bring out that polished adult out for the evening. Remember to smile more, engage in conversation, and ask your date questions – just like an interview…Well, not about the salary of course.
Tip #2: Do Not Take Charge
A while ago Adrienne emailed me about her blind date with Tony. Even though Adrienne and Tony were strangers, she knew who he was through mutual friends and had been dying to go out with him. Adrienne admits that she is “a Type A Personality, control freak, micro-manager who does not like surprises” (her words, not mine).
So being Adrienne, she put her best Type A self forward and planned the entire night. Without asking, she chose an expensive seafood restaurant, picked the time, and made a reservation. As well, she called ahead, asked for a specific table, and pre-ordered the meal for them. You know, because she’s a go-getter.
A little much?
Yes, just a smidgen.
In her attempt to impress Tony, she came off like a complete control freak.
Had Adrienne stepped back and let things come together naturally, she would have learned that Tony is allergic to seafood and prefers to order for himself – like an adult.
See also: Make a Great First Impression on a Date
When setting up a blind date, it’s best to work out the logistics together through email or over the phone: What are you interested in? What time works best for you? Do you have a place you’ve wanted to try? Do you have any food allergies?
Don’t make this into a survey, but feel the person out casually without being too pushy or non-commital. “I heard of this great Italian place that just opened up. I can see if they have a table on Friday around 7pm. Does that work for you?” Here you opened with a concrete suggestion, rather than a mandate. When you ask questions, it’s very easy to discover their likes and dislikes without having to do too much legwork.
Tip #3: Bring a Gift
Bringing a gift does not mean showing off your bank account by arriving with a gold pendant engraved with your date’s name. That would be creepy.
In this gift giving scenario you want to go with simple and classy. And this goes for men and women both. So what is a perfect way to say, “I’m excited about the date, but I’m not a crazy stalker”?
Two things: flowers and food.
Guys, there is nothing easier than getting flowers. Seriously. Just don’t show up with something that Miss America holds during her acceptance speech. Go with a simple bouquet that is easy to hold and doesn’t crowd the table. Light wildflowers, tulips, and seasonal blends are always great. I recommend saving roses for subsequent dates when the romance is more established or expected.
For the ladies, food will win over anyone, especially dessert. After you meet at the restaurant and place your order, excuse yourself to the bathroom. On this trip, pull the waiter aside and tell them you want to pre-order dessert and pay for it on a separate check. Give him the credit card right away so they can charge it. This will be your treat.
See also: 3 Perfect Gift Ideas for Your First Visit to a New Home
I recommend doing research ahead of time to see which dessert the restaurant is most known for. When it’s time for dessert, your date will be surprised and thrilled at this simple, yet thoughtful gesture.
In life and in love, it’s the little things that count.
As always, if you have another manners question, I look forward to hearing from you at manners@quickanddirtytips.comcreate new email. Follow me on Twitter @MannersQDT, and of course, check back next week for more Modern Manners Guy tips for a more polite life.
Do you have any recent graduates in your circle, or perhaps someone who is looking to start a new career, check out my book, Reply All…And Other Ways to Tank Your Career for great tips and advice on job success. It’s available now!