Can Your Kids Stay Home Alone?
How young is too young to leave them home alone?
Cherylyn Feierabend
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Can Your Kids Stay Home Alone?
My friend and fellow podcaster, Stacee suggested that I talk about how to decide the age at which to leave your child at home alone. My first thought was, “What? I will never leave my children home alone and they will hold my hand crossing the street until they are well into their 30s.” I may be a little unrealistic. As a matter of fact, I was babysitting in other peoples’ homes at the ripe old age of 13, myself. So, who’s to say my daughter won’t be fully capable of doing the same?
I figured my research on this topic should start with what is or is not legal. The LatchKey-Kids.com website lists each U.S. state’s legal age restrictions for when children can be left home alone.. It has some additional useful information and I’ll include a link to the site in the show notes. The most common age I have heard as the appropriate age to leave children home alone is 12, but it’s almost followed with the phrase, “But that’s just a guideline.” There are reasons for that disclaimer. You should also be sure to pay attention to the number of hours you are permitted to leave children of certain ages by themselves as well.
All Kids Are Different
All kids are not the same. Your 12-year-old may be mature enough to stay home alone, but not all kids are. You need to take a good look at how you feel about your child’s ability to handle emergencies, follow instructions, and behave appropriately. One fellow mom suggested that you consider your own behavior when your child is with you. Do you feel that you need to look after him or is he pretty much on his own and behaving as you would expect him to if he was alone? If you constantly feel the need to check on him or to re-direct his behavior, then he’s not ready to be left on his own. You should also talk to your child about his feelings about being left alone. Does he feel ready? Is he worried or frightened? Make sure everyone wants the same thing and feels comfortable about it. If your child isn’t comfortable about being left alone, then he shouldn’t be. Similarly, if you are having doubts, be sure to give your kid valid reasons for your decision not to leave him alone and let him know that if he wants to be able to be independent, he’ll need to show you that he can handle the responsibility.
Start Small
Once you have decided that you are ready to let your child stay home by himself, start small. Opt for a quick run to the grocery store during the day. If you suddenly feel that you need to go over all the rules before you leave– such as not answering the door for strangers or telling people who call that nobody is home–then you need to re-think if you are ready. It’s OK to go over these rules before you start leaving your child alone, but if you have a sudden panic attack about it, ask yourself why. It’s normal to feel nervous, but if you have a really bad feeling about it, take that into consideration and follow your instincts.
Consider Siblings
Another important thing to consider is younger siblings. While you may feel that your 12-year-old can handle being on his own for an hour or so, that doesn’t mean he’s ready to be responsible for his 3-year-old sister. That’s a lot of responsibility for a child whether they are 12 or 15. They need to be ready and willing to take care of their younger siblings before you leave them all at home. Remember, you’ll have plenty of time away from your kids once they are grown. Still, I admit that sometimes I do fantasize about the days when I’ll no longer have to pay the babysitter or the child care center at the gym. Those days will be here fast enough! Always remember to enjoy the time you have with them now.
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This is your friend the Mighty Mommy wishing you happy and fun parenting!
Girl home alone image courtesy of Shutterstock.
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