Cell Phone Etiquette
When and where is appropriate to answer your cell phone.
This week we’re going to talk about [phone rings]… hold on… Yello? Oh hey man, what’s happening? Uh, huh– uh, huh. Yeah, I totally saw that one… Yeah, that was so awesome! That one part where she was like pew, pew, pew, and he’s all, “This is the last time that I put you in charge of the sheep– and for crying out loud, where is the teleporter!?” Genius! Yeah, tell you what, let me call you back I’m in the middle of recording a podcast. What? Yep. Yeah, okay, talk to you later.
Okay, what was I saying again? Oh, yeah… today, we’re going to talk about cell phone manners!
Ask Yourself the Five Ws
For this exercise, allow us to consider the 5 Ws: the who, what, and why all are rather self explanatory. Who? You. What? Talking on a cell phone. Why? I don’t know, you’re the one on the cell phone, and anyway The Modern Manners Guy keeps to himself. Your business is your business, and what we’re left with and what we’re really most concerned about is the Where and When. These seem to be the two areas that are the most disruptive when using the device we know as the mobile phone.
Here’s the short version:
Where: Where you can talk freely without making anyone else uncomfortable or causing disruption. Basically, not at the theater.
When: When you can talk freely without making anyone else uncomfortable or causing disruption. Basically, not when at the theater.
Easy. Right?
Just Because You Can, Doesn’t Always Mean You Should
When a mobile phone rings, human beings have a Pavlovian response to the chime– they search feverishly for their cell phones because a missed phone call portends a missed conversation which portends, well, a voice message to which one can listen to and respond accordingly.
I should make it known that there isn’t anything inherently wrong with answering one’s mobile phone– it’s practical. I think we can mostly agree that it’s an essential part of the design. The problem with answering one’s cell phone comes in when you’re disrupting other people with its use.
More and more frequently, I’m finding that people think it acceptable to take calls while in the library, bookstore, during movies, at the theatre, and even occasionally during a meeting at one’s job. That, I argue is a disturbing and increasing trend. If you know that you might receive an urgent phone call during any of these events, either be prepared to quickly excuse yourself to a phone-friendly place or do not attend them at all. I certainly do not intend to be callous, but there are just some things that we simply should not do, and talking on a phone in an inappropriate place is one of them. In fact, if you know you’ll be in one of these types of locations during the day, just go a head and set your phone to “silent” of “vibrate” when you get up in the morning – okay, that’s a little over the top – just make sure it’s always in the front of your mind to take this precaution before your phone rings in the middle of your child’s ballet number.
Stop, Look and Listen
Now here’s the polite way to deal with a cell phone call. When your phone rings, take a quick look around and see if there is anyone within earshot. Then listen to your environment for ambient noise. If you find that you’re not in a peaceful, quiet environment when you receive a call, and therefore cannot immediately answer, you have a few options:
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Option one, part 1: silence the ringer as soon as possible and part 2: try to retreat to a location where you can answer the phone before the caller hangs u… [Click, dial ton
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Option two: let the call go to voicemail. Then supposing you’re not in a dark theater where you’re cell phone is basically a light saber, listen to the message. If you decide that the person must be called back immediately, please refer to option one, part two.
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Option three: again assuming that you’re not in a quiet, dark theater, quietly answer the phone and politely ask the person on the other end to hold briefly while you excuse yourself to a place where you can talk freely.
Well, your Modern Manners Guy remembers a trip to the bookstore where he found himself sitting in a comfortable chair reading what was–most assuredly–a sophisticated volume, and being flanked by three other people quietly reading before being disrupted by the cell phone of one of the other seated patrons. The young lady answered the phone and upon discovering that the caller was her husband, proceeded to have a rather detailed conversation about her early morning trip to the baby doctor.
Needless to say, the other offended parties and I shared uncomfortable glances and by the time she hung up the phone, I momentarily considered changing my name to Modern Manners Guy, M.D., and then I decided that maybe one overheard conversation like that was enough for this lifetime. If you happen to be caught in such an awkward situation, feel free to sit in stunned silence like I did. However, it’s also reasonable to get the heck out of dodge. Disapproving glances aren’t really the best manners, but a hasty retreat is fine and might save you from a few nightmares.
Bottom Line: Please. Just, don’t.
Another piece of cell phone etiquette that needs to be addressed is talking on the phone while in the check-out line of a store. It should be obvious that this is rude and is sure to be disrupting to the cashier. Â And if something is disrupting to the cashier, it will cause delays for everyone else in line. We’ve already established that we need to treat people like they matter more than us. Wasting everyone’s time with a conversation that could wait the two whole minutes until you are no longer in line conveys the exact opposite.
And cell phones should be as scarce on elevators as penguins in the desert. I’m not sure there are any elevator rides that last more than one or two minutes total, and there aren’t many conversations that can’t wait until you’re not in a small box with strangers. Plus, no one on that elevator cares to overhear any conversation you might have.
WHT ABT TXTING MY BFF 4EVR, LOLZ?
“But what about texting?” you ask, “It’s quiet and shouldn’t offend anyone!”
I agree with you! It is quiet and it shouldn’t, but sometimes it does– remember the theater scenario? It seems that people have yet to fully grasp the notion that texting in a darkened room is terribly distracting. If you are so disinterested in what is going on on the screen or stage as to find yourself texting friends who are not present, please, excuse yourself and go be with them– again, I don’t mean to be rude, only practical.
If you’re in the library, bookstore, mall, heck, almost anywhere, texting is one of the least annoying things you can do, and provided you have the key sounds turned off and are not standing in someone’s way — get to texting!
Though it seems simple enough, the mobile phone has a challenging etiquette that should be observed so we can avoid irritating others or embarrassing ourselves.
Okay, that’s it for the podcast, but I’ve got a couple of things to tell you about again including my new Facebook page, so stick around.Â
First of all, thank you for listening to The Modern Manners Guy’s Quick and Dirty Tips for a More Polite Life.Â
Thanks to Colin Smith of The MannersCast for guest writing this episode. You can find out more about Colin and the guys of The MannersCast podcast at https://www.mannerscast.com.
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