Dining With Annoying Couples
Sure they’re your friends, but dining with an annoying couple can really take a toll on your patience. Here are the 3 couples who can make you rethink that dinner party (and how to handle them).
Richie Frieman
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Dining With Annoying Couples
Recently, a follower of the Modern Manners Guy on Twitter DM’d me about dining with an annoying couple. He dreads being around them. They’re always late, always pretentious, and always insist on choosing the restaurant. Sounds like a great couple to be friends with, right?.
My first thought after reading his message was, “Why on earth are you friends with these people?”
But then it hit me: We all know a couple that we’re friends with, despite finding them absolutely irritating. There are a few categories of annoying couples and today I’ll tackle 3 of my favorites:
Tip #1: The Couple Who Has Everything
We all know the expression “marrying well.”
Sadly, in our culture marrying well has nothing to do with love. Instead it means hitting the jackpot because Daddy Warbucks put a ring on it.
Well, turns out Mr. and Mrs. Money Bags may have a nice car and house, but pretty much lack all qualities of what it means to be a real friend. They can’t wait to brag about what they bought, where they went, and how tired they are from shopping, knowing full well that others don’t have that same lifestyle. This is the epitome of rude and arrogant.
Look, there is nothing wrong with someone talking about their life, but when it’s poured on ultra thick for the purposes of showing off, you need to step in and bring them back to earth. When they start droning on about expensive hotspots, or things they just bought, bring up something else.
Here are two examples:
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Mrs. Warbucks: “Oh, this restaurant reminds me of that five star hotel we stayed at in Paris, last week.”
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Normal Couple: “I love Paris! I traveled there years ago. Did you visit any museums?”
Or
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Mr. Warbucks: “Like this jacket? Only cost me a few grand!”
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Normal Couple: “It’s nice, but I’d love to hear about the pastries. Parisian pastries are the best!”
If you let them keep going, they’ll never stop with the name-dropping and money talk. So when see it going that route, quickly move the conversation to something unrelated to finances.
Tip #2: The Divorcing Couple
Not the worst couple to be around, but surely the most uncomfortable, is the couple heading toward (or in the midst of) a divorce.
I’m not divorced, but both of my parents have been married three times each and many of my friends have started to split. However sad the break-up may be, there are always good reasons why a couple gets divorced. And nowhere are those reasons more pronounced than in social situations. Snarky remarks, narrowed stares, or simply just ignoring one another, when a couple is fighting it’s bad news for everyone around.
The trick is to not allow yourself to be sucked into their crumbling marriage. Instead, use the divide and conquer method: separate them and keep the conversation going one on one.
When you’re dealing with a dueling couple, you’re not going to find mutual conversation topics and easy banter traded across the hors d’oeuvres. It’s more likely going to be seething quiet and contentious remarks. The thing to do is act like all is good and you don’t even notice. Yes, act! Split the table in half. For example, if John and Tim are buddies, and Tim can’t stand Veronica anymore, it’s up to John to entertain him. Talk sports, talk news, talk movies, talk anything that doesn’t involve him talking about Veronica. Same goes for the other half of the couple.
Is this the most enjoyable way to spend a meal? Not even close. But it’s a heck of a lot easier than to pour fuel on the fire. They will appreciate you not harping on their issues and may actually have “fun” while in each other’s presence…even if they’re not on speaking terms.
Tip #3: The Boring Couple
Hands down the worst annoying couple to dine with are Mr. and Mrs. Boring.
Sure the couple that has everything is beyond detestable and the splitting couple may throw drinks in each other’s faces at any moment, but when didning with the Borings, you’ll wish for that excitement. Something, anything resembling fun (other than crickets in the background). It feels like at any moment, a pile of tumbleweeds is going to blow past your table. I don’t mean to pick on the boring couple, because at least the boring couple is not rude. They’re usually pleasant, on time, and always accommodating. But…can we get a little energy in the room, for crying out loud?!?!
We don’t have to get drunk and dance on the table, but a little back and forth conversation about something other than their new septic tank would be immensely appreciated.
So how do you handle the Duke and Duchess of Dullsville? Step 1 is to take over the conversation. But you’ll probably be doing that with them anyway, so an even better idea is to do an activity instead of dinner. Something like bowling, miniature golf, or a trivia game night at a bar. This way, you aren’t stuck listening to their saga of the missing hedge clippers. Who knows, you may find out they’re not so boring after all.
As always, if you have another manners question, I look forward to hearing from you at manners@quickanddirtytips.comcreate new email. Follow me on Twitter @MannersQDT, and of course, check back next week for more Modern Manners Guy tips for a more polite life.
Do you have any recent graduates in your circle, or perhaps someone who is looking to start a new career, check out my book, Reply All…And Other Ways to Tank Your Career for great tips and advice on job success. It’s available now!
Annoyed couple image courtesy of Shutterstock.