I’m sure you’ve been in this situation: You’re at a dinner party (either in a restaurant or in someone’s home) and a dish is put in front of you that you’d never eat.

What do you do?

With the holidays upon us, many will be stuck with this dilemma. For me, personally, this isn’t a major issue because I eat practically everything. But at times, even I am confronted with food that is a turn off (I’m talking to you, Tofurky!). 

Recently I had the pleasure of speaking with an amazing author, entrepreneur, and all around good person, the one and only, Hungry Girl (otherwise known as Lisa Lillien).  Hungry Girl has a unique view on how to live a balanced life, while still enjoying great tasting food.

I was curious to hear her perspective on this issue. She said,

“For me, I can always survive; I can always find something good to eat [at any dinner party]. Unless you’re a vegetarian and you’re being served only meat, there is always salad and vegetable sides. You can always build a plate for yourself. Around the holidays, I think people can be a little flexible.”

Thankfully, Hungry Girl didn’t recommend what my daughter does – push food around her plate to make it appear as if she ate everything. A classic kid maneuver.  But we’re adults and we’re conscious of how our rejection of someone’s cooking can offend. As Hungry Girl said, the key is to build a plate for your own liking.  After all, just because the main dish may be something you don’t usually eat, doesn’t mean your plate can’t be filled with other items to show your gratitude for the time and effort that went into the meal.

See also: Hosting Hints: How to Handle Guests With Restrictive Diets

You don’t have to be King or Queen of The Clean Plate Club. Sure, it makes a host happy when guests eat every last bite, but this is not a prerequisite for proper dinner guest etiquette.  As well, on the other side of the table, it’s bad form for a host to challenge a guest on why they didn’t eat a certain dish. The host can gently inquire, “What’s wrong? Don’t you like grilled duck liver?” But a host should never interrogate. And for the record, don’t be surprised if someone doesn’t like your grilled duck liver.  

This is why we often feel guilted into force-feeding ourselves food we would never eat. People tend to think, “Gosh, if I don’t eat one serving of everything, and lick my plate clean, then I’ll look rude.” This couldn’t be farther from the truth.

As Hungry Girl said,

“I never want to offend the host, and sit there with an empty plate or make them feel uncomfortable. So I eat a lot of what I like, and I don’t eat a lot of the other stuff.”  

Great point! It’s one thing to not like what is being served and sit there like Debbie Downer; it’s another to survive the meal without making a big deal if something isn’t to your liking.  I don’t care how picky you are, we all can do this. Load up on salad, enjoy the sides, and yes, even try the main dish (if you can stomach it). You don’t have to have a full plate to ensure you’re invited back…but you do have to appreciate the effort that is laid out in front you. 

As always, if you have another manners question, I look forward to hearing from you at manners@quickanddirtytips.com. Follow me on Twitter @MannersQDT, and of course, check back next week for more Modern Manners Guy tips for a more polite life.

Do you have any recent graduates in your circle, or perhaps someone who is looking to start a new career, check out my bestselling book, Reply All…And Other Ways to Tank Your Career for great tips and advice on job success. It’s available now!

Woman disliking her food courtesy of Shutterstock.