Ditch the Long Voicemail
Long-winded voicemails are the scourge of communication. Modern Manners Guy explains what is the proper length for a phone message.
Richie Frieman
Today’s topic comes from my editor who is fed up with the long, drawn out voicemails people leave her. (Not me!)
And when she brought this up, I realized in all my years of being Modern Manners Guy, I have yet to cover this topic. Crazy!
I too can’t stand long voicemails. When I see a voicemail on my phone, I dread pressing Play because oftentimes it’s nothing more than a ramble of redundant information.
For example, a message of 8 seconds can get everything that you need across. “Hey, Richie, it’s Kenny. Drop me a line.” A perfect example of a proper voicemail. Then there are times when I see a message with a length that could double as a Senate filibuster. (Mom, I’m speaking to you).
See also: 7 Quick and Dirty Voicemail Tips
Of the many types of annoyingly long voicemails, my favorite is the “Because you have nothing better to do” message. This occurs when the caller feels that you seriously have nothing better to do all day than to listen to their novel of a voicemail. It goes something like this:
“Hey, Richie, it’s Andy. How are you? Good, I hope. I was just wondering if you guys were around this weekend for dinner? Or we can do a brunch with the kids. But not too-too late though, because we have soccer practice at 12 on Sunday. So maybe like…oh gosh…wait, let me check…
(Then they put you on hold – in a voicemail!)
OK, I’m back. Maybe like…No, not that date, Chris has a doctor’s appointment…Hmm…Wait, did I say soccer was at 12 noon? Ugh, I meant 1pm…I think. Oh well, call me and we’ll figure it out. OK, gotta go. Bye. See ya.”
Holy mackerel! I mean, seriously? This, by the way is not an exaggeration – I’ve had voicemails just like this. And not that I don’t love Andy or want to hang out, but the same thing could have been accomplished by simply saying, “Hey, I wanted to see if you guys were around this weekend. Let me know.” Boom. Done. End scene.
The biggest problem about the “Because you have nothing better to do” message is that you’re forced to listen to the whole just in case there is something major that needs attention. “What’s that? Timmy fell down a well?”
Maybe at the end the caller says something incredibly important, “Oh, and I just won the lottery! Call me back and I’ll split it with you.” Unlikely but still, as a mannerly person you want to give your caller your attention and hear them out fully…even the long-winded people.
However I think we can all do each other a favor and get to the point as quickly as possible. Saying you want to make plans will surely get a call back – as will saying, “I have something important to talk to you about.”
So next time you plan on reciting the Declaration of Independence on someone’s voicemail, just remember, every second counts. So spare the stories and cut to the chase.
As always, if you have another manners question, I look forward to hearing from you at manners@quickanddirtytips.comcreate new email. Follow me on Twitter @MannersQDT, and of course, check back next week for more Modern Manners Guy tips for a more polite life.
Do you have any recent graduates in your circle, or perhaps someone who is looking to start a new career, check out my new book, Reply All…And Other Ways to Tank Your Career for great tips and advice on job success. It’s available now!
Yawning manopens IMAGE file image courtesy of Shutterstock.