How Rate of Speech Impacts Diplomacy
How much does the pace of speech matter in diplomatic speaking? What about credibility or persuasiveness? The answer is a lot, according to Lisa B. Marshall, aka The Public Speaker.
Lisa B. Marshall
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How Rate of Speech Impacts Diplomacy
I recently received the following email:
Hello,
I read the article “how to be more diplomatic” and I found it really informative. In the future I will be sure to keep those points in mind when I communicate in a diplomatic manner. However, I was wondering – how important is one’s pace of speaking when being diplomatic? And how can one permanently change the pace of the speaking to such a level? Â
Thank You,
Ranil
This is a great question, and the answer is: it depends.
Let’s first define diplomacy. It doesn’t mean moderating between nations, although such people do have to be diplomatic! Rather, diplomatic communication preserves the dignity of your conversation partner. And it’s often more about listening than speaking. Diplomatic communication is relaxed, tactful, and respectful.
For me the biggest part of diplomacy is the word tactful—taking careful consideration of the feelings and values of your conversation partner. That means to be diplomatic you must be highly skilled at flexing your communication style. So you don’t really want to permanently change it at all. (Learn more about your communication style and how to flex by taking a DISC communication assessment and receiving a 22-page report. This $100 value is free for a limited time.)Â
Rate of Speech and PersuasivenessÂ
Let’s talk about what we know about how rate of speech impacts credibility and persuasiveness. Many studies have been done on this topic. For instance, a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people who spoke slightly faster than average were deemed more intelligent and more knowledgeable, while those who spoke slightly slower than average were considered less intelligent and knowledgeable. Interestingly, however, this does not correlate to persuasiveness.
How persuasive the speaker is depends more on the audience’s attitude regarding the subject than on the speaker. A study reported in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin found that, if the audience disagreed with the speaker initially, speaking faster caused a higher level of persuasiveness, because the listeners didn’t have time to think of counter-arguments. But if they already agreed, speaking more slowly was better, so that what the speaker said had time to sink in. And whether speaking quickly or slowly, taking natural pauses was crucial for persuasiveness. I go into this in much more detail in Are Fast Talkers More Persuasive?
Rate of Speech and Diplomatic Speaking
As we can see, human communication is very complex. But there are still more factors to consider. Yes, credibility and persuasiveness are part of diplomatic speech, but for me the most salient aspect of diplomatic speech is to be credible and persuasive while being tactful and respectful. So your pace of speaking should be a pace that is respectful and appropriate for your conversation partner.
So if you’re talking with someone who moves quickly and speaks quickly, then you should match that person’s pace of delivery.  If you’re speaking with someone whose natural speed is slow, steady, and soft, then as a diplomatic communicator, you will want to speak in a manner similar to that person’s. If the conversation partner is having the conversation in a second language, then the diplomatic communicator will slow down the pace and shorten the length of sentences for easier comprehension. So speaking more quickly or more slowly needs to be relative to the other person’s natural style. Â
The pace at which you deliver news is also part of diplomacy. Like above, discovering the “right” pace, or the most diplomatic pace, depends on the situation. I think any respectful communication gives the right amount of time to the communication. So when discussing an  important matter, make the other person feel that he or she is the most important person to you right now, that the conversation is not being rushed, and that what the other person is communicating is important and has been heard and understood.
I think any respectful communication gives the right amount of time to the communication.
Rate of Speech and Courtesy
Part of “not rushing” also has to do with not rushing to conclusions. Allow your conversation partner to speak. This can be particularly difficult if you have a strong emotional reaction. So part of pacing for diplomatic communication is to know when to ask for a break or to know when to keep silent, or even perhaps to say, “Now is not the right time to discuss this,” and suggest a better time to have the conversation.
Remember, too, not to interrupt. Sometimes you’re speaking to someone who tends to make long pauses, and you think the person is finished speaking so you begin to respond. This can come off as very rude, or even insensitive if you’re talking about a sensitive topic. The best thing to do is to try to listen for a while without sharing your thoughts. This way you can gauge how long the other person’s natural pause pattern is. Once you’ve determined this, you can pretty easily determine when the person is just taking a quick pause and when she is finished.
Whew! That’s a very complicated answer! But as I said, human communication is a complicated thing. We have the incredible ability to express everything—from detailed facts to abstract thought, from tender emotion to dramatic stories. Because of this our communication is very subtle and nuanced. The best communicators, the most diplomatic communicators, become students of human nature and are able to interpret all the subtle and not-so-subtle cues that all people give. This is called Social Intelligence (basically your social IQ). Are some people naturally better at this than others? Yes, but here’s the good news: it is mostly a learned trait. All that is needed to develop a high SI is to really care about others and to start observing, listening, and practicing.
Good luck, and let me know how it goes!
This is Lisa B. Marshall, moving you from mediocre to memorable, from information to influence, and from worker to leader! I invite you to read my best-selling books, Smart Talk and Ace Your Interview, listen to my other podcast, Smart Talk, and invest in your professional development via my online courses Powerful Presenter, Expert Presenter, or Influence: Maximize Your Impact.Â
As always, your success is my business! Â
Image courtesy of Shutterstock.
About the Author
Lisa B. Marshall Lisa holds masters with duel degrees in interpersonal/intercultural communication and organizational communication. She’s the author of Smart Talk: The Public Speaker’s Guide to Success in Every Situation, as well as Ace Your Interview, Powerful Presenter, and Expert Presenter. Her work has been featured in CBS Money Watch, Ragan.com, Woman’s Day, Glamour, Cosmopolitan, and many others. Her institutional clients include Johns Hopkins Medicine, Harvard University, NY Academy of Science, University of Pennsylvania, Genentech, and Roche.