How to be More Likable – Part 2
Likable people are more successful in business and in life. They get elected, promoted, and rewarded. They make more money, get better service, and close more deals. Learn how to increase your likability.
Lisa B. Marshall
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How to be More Likable – Part 2
In Part 1 of this series, we talked about two important things you can do to become more likeable:
#1: Reveal shared values and beliefs
#2: Empathize and commiserate
Today, we’ll talk about 4 more things you can do to increase your likability..
Likability is also very closely tied to trust. That is, the more you deepen trust, the more likeable you become. Trust is the last step towards likability and it is a process that happens gradually over time. However, as the relationship develops, there are things you can do to hasten this stage along:
Tip #3: Admit Your Mistakes
Trust is the last step towards likability and it is a process that happens gradually over time.
Try to view mistakes as experience. Steve Jobs, co-founder of Apple and Pixar said, “Sometimes when you innovate, you make mistakes. It is best to admit them quickly, and get on with improving your other innovations.” Stubbornness and rigidity are definitely unlikable traits.
Admitting your mistake can be a simple as, “Yes, you’re right. I had that wrong. Thanks for letting me know.” Even when the situation is more complicated, if you’ve made a mistake, recognize the error and openly face whatever consequences may come your way without grumbling. This shows honesty and integrity, two thoroughly likable qualities.
Tip #4: Be Humble
No one likes a braggart. It’s okay to talk about things that you’ve accomplished as matters of fact, but don’t build yourself up. Let others attach attributes to those activities or request more information about them.
No need to shout; warm and friendly works better.
For example, if someone says “Wow, that’s an unusual jacket, I’ve never seen one like it before!” Don’t say, “Oh, yes, I attended the Cannes Film Festival with a billionaire friend of mine and afterwards, we took a train to Monte Carlo and I got this coat in a little boutique there near the main casino.” Instead, stick with “Oh, thanks. I haven’t seen another one locally either.” If the other person wants more information about the coat, they’ll ask for it.
This lesson applies particularly when participating in online marketing. Different from traditional marketing, online the approach is far less aggressive. While it’s OK to post your successes and achievements every now and again, they should be lightly sprinkled among many more tips and tricks to help your clients.
Tip #5: Give Unexpected Compliments
If someone says “This has been such a tough week! My co-worker was being a bully and I finally just lost it and told her off! I apologized later, but I still feel terrible.” You can help take the edge off their negative feeling by saying something like “Co-workers can be challenging sometimes, but good for you for standing up for yourself. And it’s really great that you apologized later. That person is lucky to have a co-worker like you!”
Tip #6: Get Close
Emailing someone is one thing, but meeting them in person changes things immensely. There is a significant intangible benefit from meeting in person. In fact, according to social psychologists, we are more likely to develop a relationship with someone who is in close physical proximity. Basically, it’s easier to talk with someone sitting next to you than with someone across the room.
Weather it’s the boardroom, a conference room, or a classroom, take advantage of this by always strategically choosing who you want to be physically close to.
I probably shouldn’t admit this, but when I was in college, on the first day of class, I used to wait in the back of the room until it was about 2/3 full. Then I would choose the guy I found most attractive and sit near him.
This strategy worked so well, that I still do the same thing at conferences, except, of course, now my goal is to build and strengthen business relationships.
In his book The Tipping Point, Malcom Gladwell writes, “Sprinkled among every walk of life…are a handful of people with a truly extraordinary knack of making friends and acquaintances. They are connectors.”
In my experience, we don’t meet people like this very often. In fact, I’ve only met a handful in my life. Getting people to like you is a slow and steady process, not a competition or sprint. I’m hopeful that some of today’s tips will help you to become a connector.
This is Lisa B. Marshall, The Public Speaker, passionate about communication. Your success is my business.
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About the Author
Lisa B. Marshall Lisa holds masters with duel degrees in interpersonal/intercultural communication and organizational communication. She’s the author of Smart Talk: The Public Speaker’s Guide to Success in Every Situation, as well as Ace Your Interview, Powerful Presenter, and Expert Presenter. Her work has been featured in CBS Money Watch, Ragan.com, Woman’s Day, Glamour, Cosmopolitan, and many others. Her institutional clients include Johns Hopkins Medicine, Harvard University, NY Academy of Science, University of Pennsylvania, Genentech, and Roche.