How to Handle Picky Eaters
Picky eaters can really test our paitence. But have no fear, there are ways to combat even the most finicky diner and still enjoy a nice meal. Modern Manners Guy has the scoop.
Richie Frieman
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How to Handle Picky Eaters
Every party has a pooper and that’s why we invited you!
That’s right, picky eaters of the world, you can ruin a meal faster than Kanye West can ruin an awards show. Â
I totally understand that everyone has specific eating habits and preferences, however, dining with picky eaters can challenge even the strongest patience. We all have our breaking point and picky eaters tend to push us the brink with every whine and complaint, even before we step foot into the restaurant.
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Why do picky eaters think it’s OK to make others suffer so they – and only they – can be happy? Well, my mannerly friends, it’s about time we tell ourselves, enough is enough!
But let’s face it, even though it’s time we tell ourselves this, we all know that we won’t. Why? Because mannerly people (like you) are empathetic. We put up with others’ idiosyncrasies so as to not offend. And yet, there are ways to manage even the pickiest eater. Here are my top 3 Quick and Dirty Tips for mandling a finicky diner:
Tip #1: Options, Options, Options
I recently published an episode called Dining Etiquette 2.0, in which I discussed the importance of being flexible. Being flexible in various situations (personal, professional, social, etc.) shows that you can go with the flow, are not bothered or unhinged by little things, and are willing to step out of your comfort zone every so often. Being flexible doesn’t mean you can’t have an opinion or get what you want though, so remember that point too.
Inevitably, when dealing with a picky eater, you will end up sacrificing your enjoyment to avoid their pouting. But just like you can combat a toddler’s meltdown with distractions, you can beat the (adult) picky eater to the punch by laying out options.
So when you know you’re going to be dining with a picky eater, do not stick to suggesting just one restaurant. Prep for the event ahead of time and bring many ideas to the table (no pun intended). Go online and do your research. There are great sites like Yelp.com, OpenTable.com and even an app I use called Around Me, that offer tons of options in your area. Armed with plenty of options, you can satisfy the needs of your entire party (including the picky eater).
Just like you can combat a toddler’s meltdown with distractions, you can beat the (adult) picky eater to the punch by laying out options.
Tip #2: Plan Ahead
There’s another way to combat a negative diner and that is to always, always, always plan ahead.
My wife is a self-described Type A personality. And that means we always have plans. And guess what…it’s awesome! Sure we like to go with the flow on occasion, but when it matters, having plans is just easier.
When dealing with a picky eater, it’s best to take the initiative and have plans set in advance. It will save you a boatload of time and frustration and allow you to actually enjoy your time with them. How…..?
To do this, reach out to the picky eater and give them the first shot as to what they are “feeling.” And if they say, “Oh, I don’t know…” don’t let them get away with it. Offer them specific ideas for restaurant options.  Be firm in pushing for a decision on one place. You never want to have a picky eater waver between two restaurants. Why is this? Well, most likely when you go with one, they’ll spend the entire meal talking about how they would have rather gone to Restaurant B, because they don’t leave grill marks on their chicken breast. I know. I know. I know.
When it’s final, wrap it up like a gift to the gods and make the reservation right away. Now, there’s no excuse why the picky eater should complain, since A) You asked them ahead of time and B) They selected the restaurant and C) Everyone in the party agreed to it in advance.  This is a foolproof way to make sure your picky eater is happy. Yeesh!
Tip #3: Limit the Party
This tip may sound a little harsh, but picky eaters can bring the mood of a party down just as fast as when I told my parents I wanted to be an art major during Thanksgiving dinner in 1997. My mother nearly had a coronary. “An art major? No, that’s impossible! You can’t make a living painting!” A-ha, but you can being a writer! ZING. Match point, Modern Manners Guy.Â
Here’s a great example: Last month my friend Ben invited a picky eater out to lunch with us. At first, the picky eater seemed pleasant, but the minute she picked up the menu, it was like a Transformer going from mild-mannered-adult to Obnoxious Woman whose goal in life was to make everyone around her uncomfortable. She complained the entire time and ruined the meal. The check couldn’t come fast enough.
The lesson learned was that if a picky eater is also socially inept, they can alienate the people around them.  In a situation like this, when we have a person who we love to be around, but have a hard time with during meals, you have to work around this issue together. If picky eater doesn’t like change, even for one stinkin’ meal, then you may have to rethink inviting them to larger gatherings.
It’s not being rude – you’re simply being honest. If they can’t be flexible, then there’s no point in inflicting their neuroses on other people who just want to have a good time. Tell them frankly that you fear they may be missing out on many amazing things in life buy insisting on having it their way, every day.Â
As always, if you have another manners question, I look forward to hearing from you at manners@quickanddirtytips.comcreate new email. Follow me on Twitter @MannersQDT, and of course, check back next week for more Modern Manners Guy tips for a more polite life.
Do you have any recent graduates in your circle, or perhaps someone who is looking to start a new career, check out my book, Reply All…And Other Ways to Tank Your Career for great tips and advice on job success. It’s available now!
Picky child eater image courtesy of Shutterstock.