How to Improve Your Job (And Your Life)
Learn the only advice you’ll ever need to get through difficult situations at work and at home.
One day a long time ago, when I was a young manager at a training company my then-boss Jane called me into her office to tell me I was too passionate. I don’t remember much of anything else that day, but I do distinctly remember thinking, “Time to put on your big girl pants, Lisa.” Meaning, even though I strongly disagreed with her analysis and advice, I either needed to significantly change my behavior or leave.
This sort of thing happens to all of us, perhaps more frequently than we’d like. Our managers, customers, employees, and even our profession at times demands things of us that we think are unreasonable or unfair.
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You Can Only Control Your Own Behavior
So what’s the Quick and Dirty solution? Put on your big kid pants! Stop complaining and just do whatever you need to do to succeed in the environment you chose—or choose to leave that environment.
I know it’s not that simple. This can be really tough advice to follow. However, the bottom line is that you can’t control your boss, your coworkers, your employees, your vendors or partners, or anyone else for that matter. The only thing you can control is your own behavior.
Here are 4 instances where putting on your big kid pants will help improve your life:
#1 When Your Boss is a Jerk
All of us have been in the situation when you want to roll your eyes and say to your boss, “You’re a clueless jerk!” Instead, grit your teeth and think, “big kid pants, big kid pants, big kid pants…” Then, take a moment (or two or three or whatever you need) to sincerely think about the feedback you’ve received, no matter how it was delivered. You owe it to your boss and to yourself to see if there is even a grain of truth to the criticism. Then think about possible changes that you could make to adjust your behavior. You goal is to figure out what’s most important to your boss and do that. And if you decide you can’t or won’t adapt, then you need to go.
#2 When Your Partners Aren’t Partnering
When you feel like your business partners are taking advantage of you, think about how you can strengthen the relationship.
Think about how you can communicate more or connect more. Think about why you chose the partnership in the first place and how you can make working together a smoother process that feels mutually beneficial.
Here’s what you can do, request a meeting with your partner to discuss your differences and have possible solutions ready that are mutually beneficial. Another example is to talk to colleagues about their experiences with their partners (or even the same partner you not happy with) to put your issues into the proper context.
#3 When Your Employees are Lazy
When you feel the urge to complain that the people who work for and with you aren’t motivated enough or smart enough to get the job done the way it needs to be, again, it’s time to put on your big kid pants. Stop and think, “What can I do to fix that?” Could you provide more training, more mentoring, more feedback? Figure out what you could change to help motivate your team and drive performance, and then do it.
#4 When Your Profession Isn’t Fulfilling
Perhaps you’re unhappy that your profession requires working long hours; or you feel you’re not getting enough in return to the work you put in; or you don’t have enough time with your family because your position requires you to be available to your customers instead.
Again, this is the time to put on your big kid pants. It’s important to remember that you chose your profession, you chose this direction for your career, not the other way around. Figure out ways to be more efficient and profitable. For example, either hire or barter with someone to complete certain tasks to free up your time. Consider changing your work environment or even a new profession.
Take a Closer Look and Make Changes
I know this advice may sound harsh. But, it is your responsibility to take a closer look at what bothers you. Don’t expect others to change, don’t expect situations to change, unless you are the one making that change happen. The bottom line is that you need to do whatever it takes to make your job, your business, or your life better.
When under stress, it is difficult to follow this advice. I try to remove myself from situations and then schedule a time to think about it later, when I am more relaxed, less emotional and thinking rationally. I always remind myself that I have chosen this path and it is up to me to either make the necessary adjustments to make it better or choose to move on.
Are you on wearing your Big Kid Pants?
This is Lisa B. Marshall, The Public Speaker, passionate about communication; your success is my business.
About the Author
Lisa B. Marshall Lisa holds masters with duel degrees in interpersonal/intercultural communication and organizational communication. She’s the author of Smart Talk: The Public Speaker’s Guide to Success in Every Situation, as well as Ace Your Interview, Powerful Presenter, and Expert Presenter. Her work has been featured in CBS Money Watch, Ragan.com, Woman’s Day, Glamour, Cosmopolitan, and many others. Her institutional clients include Johns Hopkins Medicine, Harvard University, NY Academy of Science, University of Pennsylvania, Genentech, and Roche.
