Letting Dogs “Fight It Out”
Does the common advice to “Let your dogs work out their own problems” really make sense? Learn when it’s okay to stand back, and when you’ve got a potentially serious problem on your hands.
Fairly often, I hear from listeners worried because their dogs are getting into fights with each other. And, fairly often, those listeners have gotten the advice to “let the dogs work it out.” Dogalini and Zippy, it’s said, are just sorting out their rank and as soon as one of them is clearly the alpha dog, peace will be restored. This week: when to let your dogs settle their own disputes, and when it’s dangerous to let things go.
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Easy answer first: You can let your dogs work out their own arguments if, and only if, there’s not much to work out. Five factors to look for:
Factor #1: Fair Warnings — and Not Too Often, Either
The dogs give each other warnings, like a growl or a curled lip, when one has annoyed the other. And warnings happen only occasionally.
What’s “occasionally”? It depends! Most behaviorally healthy adult dogs will put up with a fair bit of pestering from young puppies. When the puppy hits the 4- or 5-month mark, expect the adult dog to take less guff; there may be some fierce-sounding scuffles for a few days, as Middle School–Age Dogalini learns the new rules. As for two adult dogs, I would raise my eyebrows if they were making ugly faces at each other every day, even if they didn’t actually fight.
Factor #2: The Dogs Respect Each Other’s Warnings
The recipient of that growl or lip curl or snap doesn’t persist in doing whatever annoyed her housemate dog, whether that’s trying to take a favored toy or soliciting play when the other dog prefers to rest. Nor does she retaliate; she just backs off.
Factor #3: The Dogs Are At Ease with Each Other
Most of the time, the dogs’ body language around each other is friendly and relaxed. They don’t have to be besties, but you don’t see Zippy slinking past Dogalini while she’s on her bed. You don’t see the dogs ostentatiously looking away from each other and ignoring each other. Dogalini doesn’t leave the room when Zippy comes in. You can pet each dog without the other shoving him out of the way or curling a lip at him.
Factor #4: The Dogs Don’t Hurt Each Other
Noisy, fast fights are scary, but they usually amount to trash talk, and both dogs walk away unscathed. An occasional single, shallow puncture is no big deal, ditto a nicked ear (those bleed a lot, so they look scary). However, if anybody needs stitches, and especially if you find yourself hitting the emergency vet more than once in a blue moon, you’ve got trouble.
Factor # 5: Conflicts Don’t Get Worse
You don’t see the dogs fighting more often, or fighting harder. It’s a steady state.
So those are your signs that the dogs’ relationship is basically okay and you don’t need to step in. Turn them around and you’ll know some of the trouble signs to look out for: dogs giving each other the “Back off, Jack!” on a regular basis; one or both dogs ignoring the other’s warnings; the dogs looking uncomfortable with each other even when there isn’t an overt conflict going on; the dogs hurting each other; the fights getting more frequent, or more intense, or both.
Watch for 3 other danger factors, too:
Danger Factor #1: Three or More Dogs
If you have three or more dogs, the chances of ganging up rise sharply. When dogs gang up, an ordinary trash-talk fight can go haywire, with catastrophic results for the losing dog.
Danger Factor #2: Size Disparity
Your 85-pound Golden Retriever can do a hell of a lot of damage to your 15-pound Mini Poodle mix without even trying. If your dogs are very different in size and strength, be extra cautious about how much conflict you allow. Even if the dogs have a history of mild spats, consider separating them when you’re not home.
Danger Factor #3: Change
Vague, right? “Change” could mean you moved, got married, got divorced, or had a baby. It could mean that one dog is recovering from surgery or has lost his vision.
Don’t get me wrong – none of these things is necessarily going to trash your dogs’ relationship with each other. Most likely, if your dogs got along great before you got married, they’ll keep right on getting along when you get back from the honeymoon. But life changes, even good ones, are stressors. If one or more of your dogs is a little bit brittle, the extra tension can really make his behavior deteriorate. Be mindful of the possibility and you can probably head trouble off before it starts.
What to Do If Your Dogs Don’t Get Along
Chronic conflict between housemate dogs is one situation where rehoming is high on my list of choices. That’s especially true if serious conflict starts just when you’ve brought home a new dog, and especially especially true if the new dog is a puppy.
Why? Well, your first dog has priority. Especially if he’s older and maybe not a big fan of other dogs in general, it might not be fair to expect him to adjust to a housemate. A bouncy puppy can be hard on an older dog’s quality of life.
Also, think about how uncomfortable you’d feel if you had to share your home with someone you fought with constantly and just plain didn’t like. As a rule, we humans are free to get a new roommate or move out. We can ask our spouse to attend couples counseling with us, or if all else fails we can get divorced. Feral dogs and other social canids live outdoors, which generally means they have a lot of space available. Those who don’t get along can leave and try to join another social group, or at least keep plenty of air between them. Not incidentally, the image of wolves fighting it out savagely in their packs has a lot to do with the behavior of captive, unrelated wolves. Wolves who were stuck with each other, that is, like our pet dogs.
Of course, rehoming may not be an option. Or the dogs’ relationship may have taken a sudden turn for the worse after being pretty good for months or years. Or the dogs don’t get along super well but you’re pretty sure they’re not making each other miserable, either. So do the following:
1. Read “Feeling Outnumbered?”
This excellent pamphlet by Patricia McConnell, Ph.D., explains clearly how you can make polite behavior work for your dogs, and thereby help them get along. Everybody who has more than one dog needs this guide.
2. Prevent Fights
Take note of when your dogs are likeliest to argue – for instance, meals and the moment when guests arrive. Separate the dogs with crates or gates at those “hot times.” Teach your dogs to share your attention.
3. Get Qualified Help
See my article on finding a behavior specialist to help you hire someone competent.
For more about teaching and living with your dog, check out my book, The Dog Trainer’s Complete Guide to a Happy, Well-Behaved Pet. I’m The Dog Trainer on Facebook, and you can also write to me at dogtrainer@quickanddirtytips.comcreate new email. I welcome your comments and suggestions, and though I can’t reply individually, I may use them as the basis for future articles. Thanks for reading!
About the Author
Jolanta holds professional certifications in both training and behavior counseling and belongs to the Association of Professional Dog Trainers and the International Association of Animal Behavior Consultants. She also volunteered with Pet Help Partners, a program of the Humane Society of the United States that works to prevent pet relinquishment. Her approach is generally behaviorist (Pavlovian, Skinnerian and post-Skinnerian learning theory) with a big helping of ethology (animal behavior as observed in non-experimental settings).
