No Wedding Date Required

by Richie Frieman

I’ve covered wedding-related topics a lot in my tenure as Modern Manners Guy. And if there’s one question I get the most, it’s the one about whether or not you can – or should – bring a date. Weddings are stressful enough for the people in them. And sometimes, the stress trickles down.

See also: How to Decide Who to Invite to Your Wedding

Case in point: A friend called me panicking the other day because she was a bridesmaid at a wedding and her invitation clearly required that she bring a date. She wasn’t dating anyone at the time, but all the other bridesmaids had Plus Ones. Now what? Does she go on Match.com and type in “Girl looking for a wedding date”? Or hop over to Facebook and see which of her male friends are currently single — and will commit to not seeing anyone else until the wedding is over? It’s enough pressure to turn a night of magic into a horror show.

For one thing, the bride and groom should not be concerned with their guests’ relationship status. Requiring someone to bring a date is just wrong. If a guest is in a relationship where it’s very serious – perhaps they’re living together, engaged, or married, then of course, their partner should be invited.

However, just because you don’t want to someone to be “alone” at the event, doesn’t mean you have to force them to bring someone. In reality, the only time when you need to be a couple is during the slow songs, but is that such a major thing to have to participate in? I love dancing with my wife but even we sit some out here and there. The rest of the time at the wedding is spent with a large group of people dancing, having drinks, toasting, and eating as a group. So, why should you feel lonely for flying solo?

So this tip is two-fold:

• For the couple getting married – If you really want your single friend to bring a date to your wedding, ask them. If they aren’t prepared to do so, then don’t force them. Why would you want your friend to spend your special day with a random hook-up?

• For the single guests – If you see “Plus One” on the invitation, don’t break into a cold sweat. There’s no need to scramble to find a date if you don’t have one at the ready. Just go solo (you likely won’t be the only one) and enjoy the party. Plus, you never know who you might meet during a slow dance…

As always, if you have manners questions, I look forward to hearing from you at manners@quickanddirtytips.com. Check out my Modern Manners Guy Facebook page, follow me on Twitter @MannersQDT. And of course, check back next week for more Modern Manners Guy tips.

Couple with Guests and Bride with Guests photos from Shutterstock.