Nuking Voicemail Abusers
People leaving useless voicemail? Whip ’em into shape by setting clear boundaries.
John in Austin, Texas called in a question:
I have a question for you. People leave voicemail all of the time with no name, number, or subject that says, “please call me back”. My outgoing messages say to leave a name and number, but they skip the greeting. What do I do? I waste a lot of time on these poorly left messages. Thanks for a great podcast, hope to hear about this soon.
The quick and dirty tip is to set a firm boundary, Communicate it clearly, without blame, and make it clear everyone benefits. Tell people when it takes effect, and then follow it utterly.
Set Boundaries
Don’t you just want to blame people? “Grr… you left a vague, unhelpful message!” Unfortunately, blame rarely works, even if they deserve it. Let’s be enlightened. Most likely, people are as busy as you. They’re talking to your voicemail as if you’re there in person, and probably don’t even realize their message is unhelpful.
So it’s up to you to teach them. You’ve tried an outgoing message and that hasn’t worked. So now it’s time to change their behavior by changing yours. You, my friend, need to set boundaries. If you continue without boundaries, you’ll lose time to phone tag. You’ll either get less work done or you’ll have to stay later. If you stay late, you’ll miss dinner with your family, or more importantly, you won’t be able to join your Warcraft guild for tonight’s Kharazan 
raid. (Just kidding, the family’s more important… Mostly.)
Or, you can set a big, honkin’ boundary. Boundaries are a paradox. They separate us in ways that help everyone get more of what they want. When you can make sure your needs are getting met, you can better meet theirs.
Once You Set a Boundary, Communicate It
Boundaries are simple: you tell the other person where your line is, and what will happen if they cross it. Don’t communicate in anger; that’s called a fight. Set a start date and frame your boundary as a way to help you help them. Choose a start date at least two weeks away. Between now and then, talk or e-mail everyone who might leave voicemail and communicate the boundary.
For example (listen to my tone here, not just the words): “Too much phone tag is making it hard for me to be responsive. Starting February 1st, I’m asking everyone to leave a name, phone#, and what they need in every voicemail; don’t count on me figuring it out. I won’t act on messages without this info. It’s nothing personal; it’s the only way I can keep up. I’ll put a reminder in my outgoing message. Thank you for helping.”
Enforce Your Boundaries
Your bottom line is: leave your contact information. The consequence for failure: I ignore your message. Starting February 1st, get strict. Enforce your boundary. Don’t explain or justify, just stick to your position. People will push back. After all, you’re asking them to change their behavior, and it’s not easy. But think like the Dalai Llama: come from a place of loving kindness and you’ll help them make the change. And then if they don’t change, at least you get some spiritual growth in the process.
It’s always possible some of your co-workers are passive-aggressive sociopaths who are deliberately trying to sabotage you by sucking you into endless bouts of phone tag. If so, you might help by asking what their needs are in this situation. Then find an agreement that help you both. The key is always framing it as YOUR ISSUE that must be cleared up so you can help THEM. If anything you say even remotely resembles blaming, all you’ll do is make them mad. Remember: blame … inflame! Calm… er… sitting under a palm. Tree.
Most likely, if you’re having this problem, other people are, too, so they’ll understand. If you’re nervous about communicating your boundary, send them to this podcast. Let me set the boundary, and you can shrug helplessly, an innocent victim, just following the advice of the evil, cold-hearted Get-it-Done Guy.
Now that you’re setting your boundaries, clarifying your limits, and communicating the consequences, your voicemail will be back under control. You can set boundaries anywhere you need limits to help you work better. My e-mail signature says I only answer e-mail once a day, so no one expects an immediate reply. Go forth and boundary-ify! Leave me a voicemail on how well it works…
If you have a question for Stever about how to Work Less and Do More, e-mail your question to getitdone@quickanddirtytips.comcreate new email.
Work less, do more, and have a great life!
Man Listening to Voicemail image courtesy of Shutterstock
About the Author
Stever Robbins was the host of the podcast Get-it-Done Guy from 2007 to 2019. He is a graduate of W. Edward Deming’s Total Quality Management training program and a Certified Master Trainer Elite of NLP. He holds an MBA from the Harvard Business School and a BS in Computer Sciences from MIT.
