Parenting Manners
Sometimes it’s not just about teaching manners.
Cherylyn Feierabend
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Parenting Manners
Hey there! You’re listening to the Mighty Mommy with some quick and dirty tips for practical parenting.
This week I’m sharing some space with our own Modern Manners Guy. He is the expert on all things manners-related around here. So, I’m handing over the show to him to help us all out with some of our manner-management issues. Thank you for being here to share your expertise with us!
No problem. It’s a pleasure to be part of such a wonderful podcast!
Our offspring, many times, are paying most of their attention to themselves. Therefore, they usually need someone to pay attention to the world for them, and that job falls by default to us parents. Now, if you do not have children, please don’t tune out. I’ve got some advice for you, too.
Which Kid?
It doesn’t matter which kid, yours by birth or otherwise or the horde of yard monsters you decided to invite to the local scream-and-jump. All kids are in process. While we continue to teach them to be polite, we know they will still be mostly consumed with themselves. It’s our job as polite adults to manage these “people in progress” with intercessory manners until they have manners of their own.
No, this isn’t the episode about how to convince your brother to keep his kids from flushing foreign objects down your toilet. I’m really talking about the things WE can do to make sure OUR kids don’t flush things down your brother’s toilet.
A Little E.S.P.
It is a given that kids will walk in the way of someone else or chuck something across a room. In fact, your little bull might just completely forget the one hundred times you asked him or her to not run in the China Shoppe. This is where you swoop in with your super powers to divert disaster. ESP or “Expecting Something Perilous” should be in the forefront of your mind at all times. This can be exhausting, but so can spending an afternoon in Small Claims Court. And that night in the ER is very easy to avoid by just thinking ahead for the child you find yourself in charge of at the time.
Let’s look at some examples of expecting something perilous so you can see what I mean.
Situation #1
A toddler wanders into someone’s living room with a plate full of chocolate cake — you should assume that if you do not interfere, the carpet will need to be replaced. At this point, gently turning the toddler’s shoulders in the direction of the kitchen table will likely save a friendship.
Situation #2
Baby just ate a bag of M&M’s and then downed a Coke at the grand opening of your new business. You know that neither the candy nor the soda will sit well in her little tummy and suddenly the mayor is bouncing baby on his knee. You could stand and chat with the head of the garden club and let the mayor ruin his perfectly good suit, or you could calmly lift the baby in your arms and beam about how good the mayor is with kids. Crisis averted. You saved the mayor a little time and yourself a little embarrassment.
Situation #3
You’ve run into a friend at the local mall, and your kids are as happy to see their kids as you are to see another adult. Grown up conversation ensues and kids begin to get rowdy. This situation could easily escalate into kids squealing and chasing each other into other shoppers, but as someone with a clear and polite head on your shoulders, you take charge without anyone even knowing it and get everyone seated out of the way and drawing pictures for each other with the crayons you thoughtfully stowed in your pocket.
Each of these situations has some things in common: a good reason for you (the adult) to be distracted, an opportunity for your charge to cause a problem, and the person or persons who would be on the business end of that problem. However, each of these situations is easily avoidable by paying a little attention to the child and thinking a step ahead.
The SEP Force Field
Your child or children should never be someone else’s problem. Filling them up with cake and punch and then disregarding your responsibility to pay attention to them is not exactly, but is very close to, looking away as you run your shopping cart into someone’s heels. Middle schoolers and older should know better, but the smaller ones must be accounted for. And it’s not really the idea that you’re letting them do something that will be a nuisance to someone else. It’s that not paying attention to what they are doing makes us as parents the nuisance. I will reiterate here that it can be exhausting looking out for a little tornado until it learns to look out for itself, but people will notice. They will want to be around you and yours for the simple fact that you seem to care enough about them to keep your child away from their shins.
Our little ones and their friends will hopefully learn, in time, to manage themselves in public. In the meantime, it is our duty and privilege to herd them out of the way, wash their little hands, and keep a cap on their volume level so we don’t wear out the rest of society.
OUTRO
Hey! Thanks again, Mighty Mommy for the opportunity to be on your show. Keep up the great work! And if you guys would like to hear more from me, come over and listen to The Modern Manners Guy’s Quick and Dirty Tips for a More Polite Life.
Well, thank you. I really appreciate you being on the show! Those are some great tips and I’ll be sure to keep my kids away from the M&M’s and Coke. That’s a bad combination! For more great tips on Manners, please be sure check out the Modern Manners Guy show right here on the Quick and Dirty Tips Network.
Another great show from our network has been selected as one of the best new podcasts of 2008 by itunes. The Nutrition Diva’s, Quick and Dirty Tips for Eating Well and Feeling Fabulous is the perfect podcast to help you out with those New Year’s resolutions you’ve made for getting healthy. She also has a free weekly email newsletter that will send tips for healthy eating right to your inbox. You can find the Nutrition Diva at quickanddirtytips.com along with a transcript of this show.
That’s it for now. Thanks for listening.
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This is your friend the Mighty Mommy wishing you happy and fun parenting!
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