Self-promote Without Being a Jerk
Highlight your achievements at work with grace and respect for your peers and co-workers.
After my episode “managing up,” Chloe, Robert, Brian, and many others wrote in and asked how to promote yourself and your accomplishments without being a jerk about it.
The quick and dirty tip is to find ways to help others that expose them to the good stuff you’ve done.
We all know the slimy sort of self-promoter. The ones who drip … goo. “Hey,” says Slime-boy, “Great day, isn’t it? I just met my first quarter sales goals six weeks ahead of schedule and am trying to decide how to collect my bonus. A trip to Hawaii or a Caribbean cruise. What do you think?”
Here’s what we think: “We think you’re an arrogant jerk. We think you’re trying to get ahead at our expense. We think you should take the cruise. That way, if your body is lost at sea, we won’t have to attend the funeral.”
Here’s what we really think: We’re jealous. We want that bonus, too! And we know what a moron Slime-boy is, and we do not like it when a moron out-produces us. Even worse, what if he’s not a moron? What if he really is better than we are? We don’t like people being better than we are. It means we have to work harder to keep up, or it might mean we’re actually not capable of doing what they do. We don’t like being not capable; that’s what drives some people to torment math nerds in high school.
So, let’s step back. All of those reactions are really one thing: self-promoting makes the promoter seem selfish, and invites listeners to feel inferior. If you want to self-promote, the best way I know is a paradox: do it in ways that help your listeners, and downplay your role. And please, don’t be arrogant about it.
Try asking questions. If you ask your boss, “Is there anything I can help with, while I wait for the lab results to get back?” you offer help at the same time as telling your boss that you’ve sent your samples to the lab. “What can I do for you, now that the project has been sent to quality assurance?” says that your project is wrapped up and sent to quality assurance. In both cases, you’re offering help, so rather than being “that guy,” you’re being that helpful guy.
(Note: “guy” is used for illustrative purposes only and should not be construed as an endorsement of any particular gender identity, sexual orientation, marital preference, or lack thereof.)
You can also ask people for help, giving them a chance to show off their expertise. Ask for help that involves them seeing how far along you are, while making them the expert. “Hey Drew, my report is 90% done, and just needs your special way with words to get the last 10%. Could you help me polish the conclusion?” You’re letting Drew be the expert while quietly sharing the great job you did on your report. And hey, Drew’s suggestions just might be excellent.
This works with your spouse, too. You know how he, she, or they always offer helpful tips on things you really don’t want advice on? Instead of resisting, ask for the advice. “Hey, honey, could you show me again that great way you dry plates?” Your honey gets to give the advice, you might learn something, and your honey now knows that you’re doing the dishes. All with a simple question.
Lastly, offer to help. Choose something useful from a recent accomplishment. “You know, Alex, we just finished the project with ABC PR company, and the best way to deal with them is to get deliverables up front in writing.” Alex now knows you just finished your project, you learned something from the project, and you’re making Alex’s life better by sharing the lesson. Once again, everyone wins, and everyone knows your accomplishment.
Speaking of “everyone,” notice you say, “we just finished the project,” not “I.” Nothing pisses people off like taking credit for their work. And nothing makes them happier than getting credit. (Except in my case, where Oreo ice cream cakes make me happier than getting credit.) When you’re on a team, always say “we” when talking about accomplishments, even if you did all the work. Trust me: if every team you’re on delivers results, people will notice.
While you’re asking questions, offering help, asking for help, and using “we,” be sincere. If you ask for help, want it. If you offer help, mean it. If you’re trying to be manipulative while thinking you’re so much better than they are, they’ll see right through you. If you truly want to help, and do so in a way that also mentions projects you’ve finished and lessons you’ve learned, they’ll see how you exceed expectations and help them exceed their own expectations. You’ll be the kind of person people want to succeed, and you’ll find they often help you in return.
This is Stever Robbins. Follow me on twitter as GetItDoneGuy (all one word), or visit my blog at blog.steverrobbins.com/getitdoneguy. If you have a question about how to Work Less and Do More, e-mail getitdone@quickanddirtytips.comcreate new email or leave voicemail at 866-WRK-LESS.
Work Less, Do More, and have a Great Life!
RESOURCES:
/productivity/organization/how-to-manage-your-boss, the Managing Up episode
Image courtesy of Shutterstock
About the Author
Stever Robbins was the host of the podcast Get-it-Done Guy from 2007 to 2019. He is a graduate of W. Edward Deming’s Total Quality Management training program and a Certified Master Trainer Elite of NLP. He holds an MBA from the Harvard Business School and a BS in Computer Sciences from MIT.
