So You Had a Bad Day
Are your kids really being naughty or is it your perception?
Cherylyn Feierabend
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So You Had a Bad Day
Hey there! You’re listening to the Mighty Mommy with some quick and dirty tips for practical parenting.
I have received a few requests from listeners asking me to talk about how to get a handle on their own anger. Whether it be anger at themselves, their spouses, or their children, anger can be a dangerous emotion; one that isn’t fun to deal with at all. If you absolutely feel that you cannot get your anger under control or you feel that you are a danger to yourself or your children please seek professional help immediately. If you don’t know whether you need professional help, I recommend looking into it anyway. It’s much better than wondering what might happen next.
Have you ever had a bad day? I’m pretty sure we all have. We all experience days where none of the kids are listening, nothing happens according to schedule, and we are completely out of patience. We may find ourselves yelling at our kids or our spouses, or just crumbling into a pile of angry tears. These days are rough and the first thing you should know is that we all experience them. You are not alone.
There are a few things you can do to help relieve the pressure you are feeling. Some suggestions will work better than others depending on your personality and your circumstances. So, before you take action, stop and take a look at yourself. Ask yourself a couple of questions. Are you tired due to lack of sleep? Are you hungry? What have you eaten today? A cup of coffee and bite of your kid’s leftover toast is not a healthy breakfast. Are your kids really being naughty or is it your perception? If they were behaving exactly the same way on a day you were in a great mood, would they be bothering you?
If any of these things may be the cause of your rotten mood, count to ten or recite the alphabet. Take a few deep breaths and then take action to change your mood instead of taking it out on the people around you. If the weather is nice, try taking a walk outside. If you need time alone, try to find someone who can hang out with the kids while you take some time to regroup. A bath with some soothing scents can also help ease the senses if you have someone to watch the kiddos.
If it’s your appetite that’s causing you to be moody, try eating an apple or some oatmeal with raisins. Eating something healthy feeds your body and your mind. When you feel better about yourself, your mood will improve. If you need to rest, take some downtime. If you have the kids with you, bring them along. Let them know that you have been feeling grumpy and that if you can all lie down together and rest, Mommy will be refreshed and ready to play again soon.
If you are like me, napping may be out of the question. If I rest during the day, it makes me groggy for the remainder and then I don’t sleep well at night. Another option is to turn yourself completely around. No matter how grouchy you feel, just fake happiness. Stop working and make it playtime. Work will always be there; that’s something all parents need to keep in mind. Stop cleaning and start making a mess instead. Grab the Play-Doh and start pounding on it! Take your frustrations out on the dough while you make it as flat as a pancake. Crayons are great too. Take out the paper or coloring books and color with your kids. Just get into it and have fun. Putting a puzzle together can be very relaxing as well.
If all else fails and you just can’t think of something to do, a tickle fight with the little ones can bring some cheer to everyone. Sometimes laughter in the place of tears can offer some relief. It lets the kids know that you are there with them. Sometimes when we are angry our kids feel the distance and they don’t always understand. Reconnecting with them will make everyone feel a little better; maybe even a lot better.
Finally, think about this: Do you have too much on your plate? I do. Sometimes the floor just isn’t going to get mopped. Sometimes the dirty clothes are going to stay dirty for another day. My sanity is more important and so is yours. If the fact that these things aren’t getting done is one of the causes of your anger, then by all means, get them done. Focus on one task at a time though. Don’t try to do it all at once. I’ve always found that once I start doing something I’ve been putting off, it becomes much easier to do about five minutes into it. I don’t know why it works that way, but it does. One of my anger triggers is the kitchen sink. Dirty dishes in the sink make me nuts. Nothing makes me feel better faster than if I just go into the kitchen and scrub the sink clean. It’s a funny tip I actually learned from the Fly Lady who insists that your kitchen sink should always be clean. Maybe that’s why I’m so fussy about it. Either way, it works for me. I put all my anger and aggression into cleaning the sink. Oh, and before you ask, no, I will not come to your house and clean your sinks. Your dirty sink isn’t bothering me at all.
That’s it for now. Thank you for listening.
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Angry Mother image courtesy of Shutterstock