Hey there! You’re listening to the Mighty Mommy with some quick and dirty tips for practical parenting.
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I received an e-mail from a listener who was kind enough to let me share her story. Megan writes
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My husband was recently injured by a tree limb. Similar to the Harry Potter Womping tree, my husband was hit in the face and subsequently had reconstructive surgery. Post surgery we were told that my husband would be going home that day. My children had not seen him in the hospital because he was in ICU and now I would be taking him home. It is important to note that his lips were similar to Angelina Jolie except ten times the size, he was black and blue, and his jaw wired so what he could say was very hard to understand.
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Megan wrote more, but I’ll get to that in a moment.
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When one parent is injured, ill, or in any type of recovery state, the other is often left to care for the patient and the kids. This can be very hard on everyone. In this case Mom was already very concerned about her husband and dealing with her own emotions. The stress of this type of situation can be very draining on anyone.Â
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Megan continued her story telling me how her three children were affected by their father’s appearance. The older children had some difficulty approaching him, but her one-year-old didn’t seem to notice the difference. Megan understood these reactions, but had some difficulty finding suggestions on how to handle them; luckily, she was able to get some help! And, lucky for us, she was kind enough to share these tips with me so I can share them with you.
Since two of her children were old enough to help, Megan definitely wanted to get them on board. One of the suggestions she received was to make a chain out of construction paper with the same number of links as the number of days it would take Dad to get better. She modified this suggestion using a desk calendar and marking off days until the expected full recovery. In the mean time, she enlisted both of the older kids to help her in areas that didn’t immediately involve spending a lot of face-time with Dad. She had her helpers assist in the process of making liquid food, washing linens, and gradually working up to delivering items to their dad as they became more comfortable with his appearance.
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Finally, she mentioned that in the chaos of the situation she’d made the decision to not call her pediatrician for advice. When she visited her pediatrician for another situation and talked to him about her husband and the kids’ reactions, he reassured her that it’s always OK to call. This is one of the most important things to remember. Your pediatrician or family doctor will have experience with these types of situations and may be able to give you some much needed peace of mind as well as a reminder to take care of yourself. Your doctor can make recommendations to professionals if you or the kids need someone else to talk with. This is especially important if you are emotional, depressed, or just stressed out. If you want to take care of everyone else, remember you absolutely have to be as mentally and physically healthy as you can under the circumstances. Don’t forget to include other trusted friends and family members who are willing to take part in helping out. Every little bit counts.
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I want to thank Megan for sharing her story with me and allowing me to pass it on to my listeners. It was very inspiring and the suggestions were very simple, yet it’s not always easy to figure out what to do next when you are still in the just-figuring-out-how-to-cope phase. As of our last correspondence, Megan’s husband was on the mend and healing nicely. I’m sure he’s even further along now and I wish their family the best!
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That’s it for now. Thank you for listening.
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This is your friend the Mighty Mommy wishing you happy and fun parenting!
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Mother and Children image courtesy of Shutterstock
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