Tips for Kids and Their Toys

Recently, my sweetheart of a husband suggested to me that I talk about how to handle what to do when a child loses her favorite toy and has a meltdown. We were talking about it over lunch while dining out with our children. The conversation became much more amusing when I later returned home from work to find out that he’d had to return to the exact same restaurant because my daughter had forgotten two toys she’d left there. They went back to find the toys and the wait staff had thrown them away. They were able to locate them and wash them off, thankfully, but ultimately, the entire scene could have been avoided.

When Should Kids Bring Toys Places?

The first thing I had to ask myself was why the toys were there to begin with. That’s pretty simple. My daughter brought them into the restaurant. I certainly don’t have a problem with my kids bringing toys when we are going somewhere where there might be downtime. In this particular case, the restaurant had crayons and coloring sheets, which is what my children occupied themselves with the entire time while waiting for our food. So the toys were forgotten on the side of the table. I had even made a mental note for myself to remember to grab them, but I apparently lost the note. If you are considering whether or not toys, or any other possessions, should come with your child, ask yourself these three questions.

• Will it make the excursion more fun or easier for everyone? If so, bringing your own toys is generally a good idea to help keep children occupied and patient.

• Will there already be something else to do that will take priority over the toys? If so, then you should leave your toys behind because they will be unnecessary and more likely to be laid aside and forgotten. 

• Is the toy extremely precious to the child or irreplaceable? If it is, you should leave it at home. The more precious the possession, the bigger the meltdown when it’s lost, and if it’s something you can’t replace easily, you are basically just asking for trouble.

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Who Should be Responsible for the Toys?

So, now that you’ve made your decision about what toys are good to go and which ones need to stay home, you have this great opportunity to teach your children about responsibility. When your child asks if she can bring along a toy to a friend’s house, restaurant, or on a shopping trip, let her know first if you will allow the toy to go. You may be OK with a toy traveling in the car, but don’t want it lost in the store. As a parent it is your choice to make that decision. Stick to your guns. If you want to save everyone from a possible meltdown, remember to ask yourself that third question: Is the toy extremely precious? If the answer is yes, leave the toy behind. If you don’t mind a toy coming along for the trip, simply tell your child that she can choose something else and explain why. “I know Maria is your favorite little friend. Let’s keep her safe at home! Choose another friend to bring instead.” Maria is my daughter’s vanilla-scented armadillo. The leg fell off the other day and we had to perform emergency plush-surgery. It wasn’t a pretty sight. I can’t imagine Maria getting lost anywhere. That toy does not go further than the car…ever.

How to Teach Your Kids to be Responsible for Their Toys

Once you’ve agreed upon which toy will be going, remind your child that she will be required to make sure the toy makes it back home. I’ve found the easiest way to enforce that is to have a container or bag for the toy or toys that come along. Keep the bag with your purse or keys so you can’t leave without it. That will help everyone remember to put everything back in the bag before it’s time to leave. We keep crayons and coloring books in our bag anyway because we rarely leave home without them.

What to do When Your Child Loses a Toy

Unfortunately, nobody is perfect. Toys will be lost and forgotten. You might not even realize it until days later. If that is the case and you know the toy isn’t going to make it home, your child will get to learn a little bit about loss. She’ll have to accept that she’s lost her toy and move on. I don’t recommend rushing out to replace the lost toy. Your child will assume that you’ll always be able to do this for her. You have to say no. She probably won’t be happy about it, but hopefully it will help her understand why she needs to be responsible for her things. Mommy and Daddy have a lot of things they already have to remember and be responsible for every minute. Always remember that there will be birthdays and holidays that you can remind your child about. If she still wants this toy when her birthday comes around (and if she even remembers the toy at this point), then by all means, you can replace it. Chances are, unless her birthday is within that week, it won’t be her first choice simply because you didn’t let her take her favorite toy out to begin with.

That’s it for now. Thanks for listening.

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Boy with Toy Truck image courtesy of Shutterstock