Tips for Parenting when One Parent is Away
Create a schedule if it helps you keep up with everything.
Cherylyn Feierabend
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Tips for Parenting when One Parent is Away
A friend of mine recently got to experience some time living as a single parent. Her husband went on an extended business trip, longer than any other trip he’s taken before. She was a bit nervous beforehand about how she’d handle the challenge of the single life. I’d like to mention that I have the utmost respect for single parents. I honestly think each and every one of you is amazing. I’d like to interview all of you because you probably have more tips to share than anyone else I know. Those of us in a two-parent situation might tend to freak out when we find ourselves on our own for any length of time. The idea is to figure out how to deal with the shift of responsibilities when you aren’t used to doing it all on your own. In my quest for information I found two invaluable sources for tips and suggestions.
But first, we’re welcoming a new show to the Quick and Dirty Tips network this week. Jason Marshall is the Math Dude! Although Jason is smart—he’s literally a rocket scientist!—his show is all about making math understandable and even fun for the rest of us. You’ll find the Math Dude on iTunes and at QuickandDirtyTips.com. Welcome Jason!
Tips for Parenting When One Parent Is Away
When my brothers and I were little, my mom often took care of us while my dad was away on business trips. I asked her what were some of the things she did, while Dad was away, to help keep everything running smoothly around the house and to keep her from feeling overwhelmed. Here are some of her suggestions:
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Stick to the routine: Keep to your usual routine as much as possible. It’s easier for the children to adjust to the parent being away if everything else stays the same.
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Enjoy quality one-on-one time: When one parent is away, you will be able to find more time to spend one-on-one with your children. You can spend more time reading together or playing games. Give them the extra attention they might be missing due to one parent being gone.
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Cook simple meals: Save yourself some time by cooking kid-friendly meals. When my dad was away my mom wouldn’t spend time making big, fancy meals because it was just us kids. We were happier with hot dogs and hamburgers than we were with chicken cordon bleu.
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Check in with others daily: Make sure that you have another friend or family member with whom you check in daily. Someone else needs to know that you are OK if you are the only parent or adult in a household.
More Tips from the Male Perspective
My second resource for tips was my good friend and one of the Mightiest Dads I know. Andy, the host of the Andycast, finds himself, on occasion, taking care of his son while his wife is on business trips. I thought it would be fun to get a male perspective on this topic. He had some wonderful input:
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Talk to your kids: Explain to your child how long to expect the missing parent to be gone, but use a language he’ll understand. Andy uses the description of “two sleeps” to explain when Mommy will be away for the weekend. If your child isn’t familiar with the idea of days and weeks, you could use a calendar to mark days off as they pass. That will help your child understand when to expect the parent to return.
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Be patient: If your child is used to having two parents around, stock up on patience. Keep in mind that you are making up for one missing person. That is especially important if you and your spouse work as a team. You’ll be on call for the equivalent of two people. Andy suggests that you abandon any idea of your OWN regular routines so that you can focus on the child’s routines. Remember that your child will eventually go to sleep and then you’ll have some time to yourself!
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Make sure you know the routine: Speaking of routine, make sure you know your child’s routine. Children thrive on routine. Create a schedule if it helps you keep up with everything. If your child is old enough, have him participate in the planning. Andy mentioned that his son truly enjoys co-planning their “boys’ weekends.” He also let us know that although three meals of hot dogs may not be appropriate, one lunch with hot dogs can surely be accommodated.
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Do something fun: Make some special activity time as well. Keeping busy will help your child to be excited about the event instead of spending his time just missing Mommy.
Finally, both my mom and Andy mentioned ordering pizza on occasion. Hey, there’s nothing wrong with that! My kids love pizza and I love not having to clean up dishes! These are all great ideas and I would like to thank my mom and Andy for helping me out with this topic.
That’s it for now. Thanks for reading.
If you’d like to request a topic for the Mighty Mommy you can e-mail me directly at mommy@quickanddirtytips.comcreate new email.
This is your friend the Mighty Mommy wishing you happy and fun parenting.
Father with Children image courtesy of Shutterstock