Toilet Talk
When cell phones and public restrooms meet.
Trent Armstrong
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Toilet Talk
I know we’ve talked about restroom manners and cell phone manners, but we haven’t had one power-packed episode that covered the combined topics. Our friend Diane was curious about my thoughts on someone talking on their cell phone in a public restroom. This is becoming a very big issue.
A Time and Place
There is a time and there is a place for everything. The office, hopefully from around 8:30 to 5:30, is the place for work. The car is the place for driving. The market is the place for shopping. Night is usually the time for sleeping. The problem is that being able to carry around a phone has blurred the lines between these times and places. Cell phones are chirping in the ballet and in church, parents are talking on their phones at the park instead of playing with their children, and, sadly, there isn’t a law against cell phones being brought into a public restroom.
The first thing for us to keep in mind is that talking on the cell phone in the public restroom is completely and utterly rude. And I think it is worth examining the myriad reasons for this.
Awkward Noises
It’s no secret that a lot of awkward sounds occur in the restroom. The last thing anyone needs is an extra audience. Plus, restrooms frequently have toilets which are known to be unnaturally loud, and I find it hard to believe that anyone would want to try and carry on a conversation around anything that overpowering. Not only would it be difficult to hear the other person, but the phone will pick up any stray noises which will certainly be offensive to the person on the line.
Getting Personal
Public restrooms usually carry an echo and therefore are virtually devoid of privacy. Many of us try to do our best and keep the racket to a minimum, but talking at any level can usually be heard from one end of the restroom to the other and even, at times, out the door. I can think of little else that is more inconsiderate to the person on the other end of the line than discussing their personal information in such a public location.
High Anxiety
Something else to consider is that others are already uncomfortable enough in the toilet. Being privy to one end of a stranger’s conversation only magnifies any feelings of anxiety. I also think that the knowledge that this person is doing restroom things while on the phone with someone can be angering. It can be seen as an invasion of privacy. It’s a lot like the poor schlepp who goes to speak at a convention and leaves the mic on when he goes to freshen up. He might as well pack up and go home. Any respect he might have garnered would be completely stripped away.
Flush Away
Finally, if you wander into a public restroom on your cell phone, it potentially puts anyone else in the restroom in the curious situation of wondering whether or not they should go about their business flushing and washing their hands. To those people I say, “Flush away!” Thinking that you should not flush the toilet in the restroom out of courtesy to the offender is like not washing dishes for fear of disturbing the dirt. The restroom has a purpose, and that does not include cell phone calls. I’m not usually prone to teaching adults “lessons in manners,” but I hope all the flushing causes the client on the other end of the line to figure the situation out and become irate. Losing a customer might just make the point.
Take Action
If you’re the cell phone user, let the call go to voice mail so you can be refreshed and ready to return the call after returning from restroom. If the conversation is already in progress when nature begins to call, ask if the person wouldn’t mind a call back in a few minutes. Sacrifice that tiny bit of dignity for the immeasurable amounts of dignity you will lose when you drop your business cell phone in a partially used toilet.
Frankly, we shouldn’t even be talking about this. Parents, please do us all a favor and teach your children that cell phones are not to be answered or used in the restroom. And don’t just tell them — show them by not answering your own phone in the public restroom.
Thank you for listening to The Modern Manners Guy’s Quick and Dirty Tips for a More Polite Life.
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