Valentine’s Day Challenge
Mannerly expressions of love.
Trent Armstrong
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Valentine’s Day Challenge
St. Valentine’s Day, as we all know, is most famous as the annual celebration of the day in 1984 when Steve Valentine set the Olympic Record in Archery for most consecutive arrows through a spectator’s heart. For a brief period following the event the sport was facetiously referred to as “heartchery” and still is even today in some circles.
Of course I’m kidding – there is no Steve Valentine, or St. Valentine’s Day… Wait, scratch that, I’m being told … yes, there may in fact be a Steve Valentine, residing with his family in Rhode Island, and there reportedly is a St. Valentine’s Day.
Fools Rush In
Now, St. Valentine’s Day, or simply Valentine’s Day, is the day every February 14th when couples express their deepest feelings — er, love — for one another. I won’t presume to know what one’s deepest feelings are. We do know, however, that Valentine’s Day is often trickier for men than it is for women.
Traditionally, and especially in a dating scenario, men are required by law to perform the most elaborate, perfectly executed, heartfelt gesture of endearment that someone may ever see — annually. Women on the other hand are expected to behave as though the man, however misguided, has actually succeeded. This scenario can cause unneeded stress on a relationship, as unrealistic expectations often do.
Today, I want to challenge these traditional presumptions — after all I am the Modern Manners Guy. Traditional Manners Guy took the week off.
Breakfast at Tiffany’s
I believe that, in this day and age, it is a perfectly valid option to set aside the more traditional mindset should a couple decide to celebrate Valentine’s Day. As always, spend time with your significant other. More importantly, carve out a whole day if you can and don’t hesitate to forgo the fancy dinner in favor of a laid back, flirty visit to the park or mini-golf course. Or perhaps you could make a trip to the bowling alley, y’know, like you used to do. Keep in mind that a well-timed, unexpected coy glance trumps a 10 oz. kobe filet any day of the week. I know. I know. Just trust me, fellas, it does.
The Parent Trap
For those of you with children, make sure your spouse understands completely that you love and appreciate them, but don’t forget to include the kids in your Valentine’s Day planning. My mother always made sure to give us a gift and let us know that we were loved, and it means a lot to me to this day. Bears and candy. Kids like bears and candy. FYI, I like chocolate.
The Little Red-Haired Girl
And speaking of the younger set. What would Valentine’s Day be like without the opportunity to make mailboxes out of milk cartons and deliver Valentines to each of your classmates — especially that hand selected card for that special someone? Kids, I cannot stress this enough, remember to attach a piece of candy to your cards. You will be the coolest kid, like, 4evar. FYI, I like chocolate.
Can’t Buy Me Love
Valentine’s Day should be a fun time for everyone involved. Don’t let the potentially stressful aspects of the day get the best of you. Discuss with your sweetheart the best options for you and agree on an activity for the day. If both people have input, it’s hard for anyone to be disappointed.
If exchanging gifts, depending on the nature of the relationship, it may be wise to discuss the type of gift that you will be exchanging. This can include agreeing on a price range, but absolutely requires more planning than picking up the leftover flowers from the closest grocery store on your way to the dinner for which you are actually running late. Awkward moments can follow when you receive a heartfelt gift but give back a card that could have easily been given to someone’s Aunt Betty.
Overboard
And should you ignore my advice, go a little overboard, and lavish wonderful things on your significant other only to receive a small token yourself, be sure to look at the motives behind said token. Your idea of gift giving should not dictate what you receive. Read between the lines. Look into your partner’s eyes and see how much you are loved.Â
Most importantly, be respectful in your gift giving and gracious in your gift receiving. We should always remember that it’s the thought and not the gift that counts.
I hope these tips have been helpful to you as you prepare for our favorite day to be in love.
A big thanks to Colin Smith of The MannersCast for guest writing this episode. You can find out more about the guys at The MannersCast by visiting https://www.mannerscast.com.
And thank YOU for listening to The Modern Manners Guy’s Quick and Dirty Tips for a More Polite Life. Transcripts of this show can be found at manners.quickanddirtytips.com. Any comments or questions can be sent to manners@quickanddirtytips.comcreate new email or feel free to leave a voicemail at 206-666-4MRM.
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Valentine’s Day image courtesy of Shutterstock