Visualizing for Results, Part 1
Stever’s 3 easy tips on making visualization work for you.
I have a secret. Actually, I have a copy of The Secret, the book that sold a gazillion copies. It was all about visualizations, affirmations, and the “Law of Attraction.” The idea was simple: visualize what I want, feel what it feels like to have it, and voila! Secret universal vibrations would zip into the ether, track down what I want, and bring it back to me. It’s a cosmic ATM with a delivery boy and no withdrawal limit. What could be better?
My parents used the Law of Attraction when I was a kid. They’d write, “We’re rich and enjoying our money” on pieces of paper and stick them to their mirror. Then they went out and spent my college fund. So I guess it worked…for them. (To be fair, my Dad did chip in during freshman year, with the cash back bonus from his Neiman Marcus loyalty card.)
Scientists want a cosmic ATM as much as we do, so they’ve studied affirmations. In the book 59 Seconds, author Richard Wiseman shares the research. Since scientists aren’t paid very well, they’ve researched this one a lot.
The results: Turns out, that when you imagine having what you want, you are actually less likely to get it! This is true for weight control, romance, and career success. And what do most self-help programs tell us to do? Imagine feeling as if we’ve already reached our goal. That doesn’t work, so then we have to come back to buy more self-help. I guess it does work…for them.
In fact, research shows that when we feel like we have what we want, we’re less motivated to pursue it, and we’re less likely to persevere when the going gets rough. Reader Bernice—a huge fan of the Law of Attraction—is hollering from the next room, “You do not understand spirituality. The Goddess defies measurement!” The Goddess may defy measurement, but scientists don’t. And in their pursuit of the cosmic ATM, they’ve found some strategies that do work and make us more likely to reach our goals.
Here are 3 Quick and Dirty Tips for effective visualizations:
Tip #1: Visualize Your Efforts, Not the End Result
Do imagine, but don’t imagine having the goal. Imagine yourself taking the steps necessary to reach it. If you want to make it on Broadway, don’t imagine being on stage taking your bow. Imagine yourself going to auditions, practicing your singing, and running your dance combinations. Instead of programming your brain to think “I’m there!” you’re programming your brain to do the work that will get you there.
Tip #2: Visualize From the Third Person, Not From Your Perspective
When you visualize yourself practicing, see yourself in the third person. My episode on How to Be Less Judgmental discusses visualizing in the first person, looking through your own eyes. That will train your brain to feel what you’d feel if you were there. That’s great for teaching yourself to feel new emotions, but when you’re going after goals, you want something different. You want to see yourself from the outside, as if you were watching yourself in a movie.
The old saying “Monkey See, Monkey Do” seems to be true. When you see yourself doing something in your mind, you are compelled to go do it. Visualize your efforts as if you were watching yourself from the outside.
Tip #3: Be Optimistically Realistic
Vice Admiral James Stockdale was a prisoner of war in North Vietnam for seven years, during which time he was starved, chained, and tortured. This was worse than middle school! He explains how he survived with what’s become known as the Stockdale Paradox: You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end—which you can never afford to lose—with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Not only does this attitude work if you’re taken prisoner, it also works for reaching your goals. One of the most effective, science-tested techniques combines optimism with realism. Here’s how:
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List some of the great things that will happen if you reach your goal. Make these objective results, not feelings. For example, “If I’m a Broadway star, Neil Patrick Harris will have dinner with me before the Tonys.” Optimistic, yet specific. And very inspiring.
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List some of the hurdles that would get in the way of your dream. For example, “I have a bad back, so the chances of me being able to perform the choreography from Cirque de Soleil at an audition are slim.”
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Now consider these in pairs. Dwell on one of the great things until you feel inspired and motivated. Then immediately choose a hurdle and find a way to overcome the hurdle. In this case, I imagine myself at dinner with Neil Patrick Harris, trading tips about how he can work less and do more while being a new father. Wow, do I feel motivated! Now I consider the choreography hurdle. Instantly, solutions come to mind: a back brace, audition for parts that don’t require my knees to bend both ways, and building a zombie out of rubber tubing, so it can audition in my place.
The Bottom Line
Don’t pretend your dreams have come true; actually make them come true! Do it by visualizing the specific steps you’ll take to move towards your dream. Visualize from the third person—not the first person—and combine optimistic inspiration with realistic problem-solving. And if you know Neil Patrick Harris, please tell him to call. I’ve got some great baby tips for him.
Work Less, Do More, and have a Great Life!
RESOURCES
- Richard Wiseman’s book, 59 Seconds
- How to be Less Judgmental