Why Can’t I Be Happier?
Have you ever wondered why it’s so hard to increase your happiness? Savvy Psychologist explains why happiness levels tend to stay put, even after an extremely happy (or unhappy) experience.
Ellen Hendriksen, PhD
We’ve all been there. We wish for something to better our lives, thinking it will make us happier. “If I can just lose this weight, I’ll be happier.” “If I can get a raise, I’ll be happier.” “When I find a partner, I’ll be happier.”
But somehow, it doesn’t work that way. While having a wish granted may make us do a happy dance in the short run, over time, we settle back into our usual stride.
Why?
To find out, researchers responsible for a classic 1978 study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology interviewed 3 groups of people: those who had won the lottery, those who, through an accident, had become paraplegic or quadriplegic, and a group of controls.
They found that both the lottery winners and the accident victims saw their happiness soar or plummet, respectively, after their win or their accident, but over time, happiness levels returned to match the average happiness of the control group.
The researchers hypothesized two reasons for this phenomenon, which has since been dubbed the hedonic treadmill. The first was habituation. Basically, one gets used to a new reality. The lottery winners got used to the comfort or security provided by their new wealth and the accident victims adjusted to their physical limitations. It’s a new world, but both the winners and victims quickly became accustomed.
The second reason for the return to happiness baselines was called contrast. On a continuum of positive experiences, winning the lottery falls among the upper outliers. But by comparison, other happy events, like that raise or a nice weekend getaway, lose their shine and don’t contribute as much to the winner’s happiness. In the study, even compared to the control group, the lottery winners got significantly less pleasure out of everyday events like eating breakfast, talking with a friend, or receiving a compliment.
So does this mean your life improvement efforts are futile? Should you stop striving for those goals, or at least stop buying lottery tickets? Well, no, but don’t pin your happiness hopes on that one event. Instead, derive happiness from the things you do every day. Sit in the sun with a really good book and an equally good sandwich. Feel the satisfaction of having organized your desk. Say yes to whipped cream on your cocoa. You may be on the hedonic treadmill with the rest of us, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the walk.
For more tips for improving your mental health, check out quickanddirtytips.com/savvypsychologist.
Reference
Brickman, P., Coates, D. & Janof-Bulman, R. (1978). Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 36, 917-927.
About the Author
Dr. Ellen Hendriksen was the host of the Savvy Psychologist podcast from 2014 to 2019. She is a clinical psychologist at Boston University’s Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders (CARD). She earned her Ph.D. at UCLA and completed her training at Harvard Medical School. Her scientifically-based, zero-judgment approach is regularly featured in Psychology Today, Scientific American, The Huffington Post, and many other media outlets. Her debut book, HOW TO BE YOURSELF: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety, was published in March 2018.