Why Don’t Positive Affirmations Work?
Positive affirmations may not leave you feeling as positive as you’d think.
Ellen Hendriksen, PhD
Self-help gurus often suggest standing in front of the mirror and saying positive things about yourself like “I choose happiness,” “I believe in myself,” or “I accept myself.” And while affirmations work for some, they mysteriously leave others feeling worse. 
Why? Simply put, the affirmation feels like a lie. Remember Stuart Smalley? “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.” Without a statement that rings true, he’ll simply think, “No I’m not, and no they don’t,” and feel even worse than before.
Now, as it turns out, a 2010 study in Psychological Science found that individuals were more likely to successfully complete an action if they phrased their affirmation as a question: “Will I?” rather than a declaration of “I will.” Declarations like “I will get an A on this paper,” put the pressure on, while questions, the researchers postulate, stimulate intrinsic motivation. So things might have turned out better for Annette Bening in American Beauty had she changed her frantic affirmation to a calming question: “Will I sell this house today?”
An additional danger of affirmations is that simply thinking positively or visualizing your goals isn’t sufficient. Equal measures of action, hard work, and luck go into realizing a goal. Those who rely on affirmations but don’t see results often accuse themselves, “I can’t even do affirmations right,” or worse, “I didn’t deserve it,” and “I wasn’t worthy.” They end up blaming themselves when relying on affirmations set them up for failure.
All that said, if you believe your affirmations, stand up tall and say them loudly and proudly. But if you’re not there yet, rather than a mumbled half-hearted statement, try one of two things.
- Try turning your affirmation into a measurement of progress: “This is hard, but I’m getting there” or “I’m learning and improving.”
- Try an aspirational question: “What can I do today to move forward?” or “How can I make the most of my day?”
Whichever you choose, you’ll come away feeling a lot better than Stuart Smalley.
REFERENCE:
Senay, I., Albarracin, D. & Noguchi, K. (2010). Motivating goal-directed behavior through introspective self-talk: The role of the interrogative form of simple future tense. Psychological Science, 21, 499-504.
Image courtesy of Shutterstock.
About the Author
Dr. Ellen Hendriksen was the host of the Savvy Psychologist podcast from 2014 to 2019. She is a clinical psychologist at Boston University’s Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders (CARD). She earned her Ph.D. at UCLA and completed her training at Harvard Medical School. Her scientifically-based, zero-judgment approach is regularly featured in Psychology Today, Scientific American, The Huffington Post, and many other media outlets. Her debut book, HOW TO BE YOURSELF: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety, was published in March 2018.