Young Manager, Older Team

Today’s topic is how to manage people older than you. The quick and dirty tip is to acknowledge the difference in age and experience, ask for help, and to some extent, let them manage you.

Listener Peter wrote in, concerned.

I am currently getting trained in work to become a manager. I am really looking forward to the challenge, but I am much younger than my team. My age provides a lack of experience. What can I do?

Welcome to the world of management, Peter! In Corporate America, we pride ourselves on hiring only the best and the brightest. Of course, some are more best, and more brightest than others. We give those whips, so they can reduce the Lesser Best and Brightest to quivering piles of terrified jelly. We call this, “management.” When they get really good, they just have to snap their fingers to get results. We call this, “You go, girl!”

We spend a fortune selecting the right people, so why train them? They might run off and get a job somewhere else. And we can’t have that after investing so much time in them, can we? People are our most important asset, and we can’t have that asset running off.

That sounds like satire, but sometimes, it’s just true. I once planned a book called “A Handbook for First-Time Managers,” before realizing that first-time managers have no training budget and no way to pay for the book.

Acknowledge the White Elephant in the Room

You’re younger than your team. So don’t pretend you’re not. They are more experienced than you, and they may not be thrilled about having a younger manager, especially if you’re a lot younger. Start by acknowledging your age difference and discuss whether that’s a problem for people.

I take my cue from my favorite 1980s comedy, Working Girl, with Melanie Griffith, Harrison Ford, and Sigourney Weaver. When Melanie Griffith starts working for her slightly younger boss, Sigourney Weaver, Weaver does a quick check-in with Griffith to make sure age isn’t an issue. Of course, Weaver also steals her ideas, stabs her in the back, and breaks multiple bones skiing, so be careful how much deep management insight you take from the film.

Don’t Prove Yourself … to be Young.

Once you’ve acknowledged you’re young, it can be tempting to try to “prove yourself” by showing them you’re an expert. Be careful with that. You’re young. You’re a manager. They have more experience and may be the experts at their jobs. If you do show you’re better, you’re rubbing their faces in the fact that someone younger is better. That’s a great way to make friends. If you try to show you’re better and you don’t, you’re confirming their suspicions that you’re an ignorant puppy just waiting to be house trained.

As a manager, your job is to get things done, through other people. You don’t have to be the expert in how to do stuff, you have to be the expert in how to help them get it done. Your job is team-building, helping people tap their motivation (which often just means getting out of their way), and making sure everyone has the same understanding of the goals and strategies for getting the work done. Then when the team is humming smoothly, when they hit a snag, they get to keep working while you run around like a chicken with your head cut off to fix whatever’s holding them back. It does not look dignified to run around like a chicken with your head cut off—that’s why your current boss always has those beads of sweat dripping from her mustache—but it is what 21^st century career advancement is all about.

Be Up-front and Ask Your Team for Help.

Since they’re the experts, and your job is to help, ask for their expertise. Lay out the situation. “I’m new, I’m young, and I don’t know as much as you do about your jobs. My job is to help you succeed at your job. Please help me understand what you do, and how I can help as your manager?” You’re just telling the truth and asking for their help. Then, they can elect to give it or not. If they do, great. You now have someone teaching you how to manage them. They’re doing the work, they’re training you, and you’re getting paid and promoted. How cool is that?

If they don’t have anything to say, because they’ve never thought about it, or they’re not ready to trust you, or they’re plotting how to surgically implant electrodes in your brain so they can take over your mind with their cell phone, that’s OK, too. You’re no worse off than when you started, and they know you aren’t trying to hold yourself up as somehow being better than they are.

Respect Your Role and Theirs.

Going forward, keep in mind that their jobs are to be the experts, and your job is to be the manager. And if you’re going to manage to help them succeed, show ongoing respect for their age, experience, and skills. Have them help you develop yours. By turning them into your teachers, even as you become their manager, you can build a successful relationship despite your age difference.

(And just so you know, 1% of the population are psychopaths, but the number is higher in corporations. Who’da thunk? The psychopaths will pretend to be your friend and then stab you in the back when you’re least expecting it. Welcome to the Corporation.)

Today’s transcript has a link to a longer article I’ve written on this topic, as well as a link to the book Snakes in Suits: When Psychopaths Go to Work.

Resources:

• steverrobbins articles – scroll down and click on “Young Leader, Veteran Team” fourth from the bottom in the righthand column.
• Snakes in Suits – the book about Psychopaths at work

Businessman image courtesy of Shutterstock